EyesOnThePrize Posted April 14, 2008 Author Share Posted April 14, 2008 I'm feeling pretty much back to normal now. Thanks for the suggestions to keep it short and sweet. I think that is a better way to go to assert that I don't need her. I believe that I don't need her in my life, I just want her in my life. And I think that it has to be on my terms now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greensleeves Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Eyes, I think the email was good, keep any communication short and to the point. I'm curious about something if you wouldn't mind sharing. How come you have to pay her alimony? She's in a new live in relationship with someone...that doesns't seem fair to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 14, 2008 Author Share Posted April 14, 2008 Eyes, I think the email was good, keep any communication short and to the point. I'm curious about something if you wouldn't mind sharing. How come you have to pay her alimony? She's in a new live in relationship with someone...that doesns't seem fair to me. Well, first of all, I've come to believe he's not living with her, although that's not even relevant. At the time we agreed to the alimony, she wasn't seeing him. She's also going to be a full time student, and apparently under Nevada law I am required to support her to some extent. I really don't want to discuss it further, though. I will say that I am comfortable with the amount and length of the alimony, as I think that if she had wanted to turn this into an ugly court battle, she probably could have gotten more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addicus Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Does this really happen Addicus? My ex left me immediately for her ex and I have a feeling it will be short lived. I want her back but logically if she did there may be trust issues. Does it happen...sure if there is a strong connection to the other person. The ex that I cheated on is still a huge part of my life...I call her a friend but I am not sure that really defines out relationship....to me it is very different than the type of relationship I have with my friends. Once you cross the intimacy line then it changes everything. We hang out a lot, I still care about her in an amazing way. As we both have been in and out of relationships a lot of friends always comment on why we don't get back together. I thought I knew the answer to that but I don't think I do. As I get older, have different wants and desires the way I look at people also changes. What didn't work with my ex over 10 years ago, is something that may actually strengthen a relationship...weird. I have changed, did a lot of self work and a lot of growing and much more to do. All I know is that when I made choices to hurt other people (by having an affair) it was because I was searching to fill a void in myself and when I realised that it was my void and had nothing to do with the other person it had to do with me filling my own void...by the time I figured that out she had moved on...new gf and no interest in me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 14, 2008 Author Share Posted April 14, 2008 Addicus - Wow...I wish my ex could see that's what she's doing and I hope she does see it before I move on, because while I've got a lot of healing to do, I will move on to someone else eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 Well, I e-mailed the final tax return to the ex today. I kept the attached e-mail very businesslike, except the final line, where I just said "I hope everything is going okay there. Love, Eyes." And, I'm sitting here thinking "Damn, now I have to deal with her e-mailing me back." No such luck...instead she calls. I'm going to listen to the voice mail now...wish me luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 Well, she thanked me for e-mailing her, said it might be a couple of days until she could print it because her desktop computer isn't set up yet, and rambles on for a couple of minutes about her new place and the weather down there and says she'll try to call me again later. And, I won't take the call later. Again, more evidence that the NC is tougher on her than on me. Would she have called me without my e-mailing her? I don't know. But she felt the need to call me back, rather than just respond with an e-mail with the same information. I think she wants to talk to me, and I'm just not ready to give her that satisfaction yet. Oh, I didn't delete the voice mail. It was nice to hear her voice. I'll probably listen to again later, not for hidden meanings, just to hear her voice. I wonder if part of the reason she called was just to hear my voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litgirl01 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 You are her big daddy! Seriously, you guys were together so long...I know she HAS to miss you...like the deserts miss the rain!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 I think so too. All this contact from her, things cant be that exciting for her with this new man can they Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 I think so too. All this contact from her, things cant be that exciting for her with this new man can they Too bad...that was her choice. I mean, I think its obvious how much I love her, and she needs to really appreciate what life is like without being able to run to me for comfort all the time. That being said...this isn't easy on me, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 I know its not easy, but at least all you have to deal with is the break up, I know that sounds silly, but she has had all the choices to make and she has to live with her decisions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 I know its not easy, but at least all you have to deal with is the break up, I know that sounds silly, but she has had all the choices to make and she has to live with her decisions Oh, I think this may be tougher on her overall. I'm impressed with what she's doing. What's not easy for me is not taking her calls or breaking NC in some other way. I'd love to talk to her. But that just puts me back dangling on a string. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocketinthesky Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Ar eyou a killers fan??? Cause your name sounds like a line from If the answer is no, can I change your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 Ar eyou a killers fan??? Cause your name sounds like a line from If the answer is no, can I change your mind. I'm okay on the Killers. Eyes on the Prize is an old statement that someone told me years ago. Ironically, the Killers did a lot of their practicing for their 2nd album in a studio next door to my ex-wife's office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 Not surprisingly, she didn't call back like she said she would. I did listen to her message a couple of more times. It was nice to hear her voice. She sounded scattered, but did say on the message she was very tired. I didn't search for hidden meanings, although I did hear one "hidden" reference to the BF ("Uh, until someone comes over to help me with this"...she really only knows one "someone" in the area). I chuckled. She had this habit of not wanting to tell me with whom she was talking or seeing sometimes, which told me exactly who it was. I don't care if she mentions he's coming over to help her move furniture. Its not like I expect them to magically be broken up now. I think its cute that she's trying to protect my feelings on this, and now she's the one being overprotective, kind of a role reversal. Will she do her follow-up call today? Who knows? It goes right to voice mail in any case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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