Does being single get better?? UGH!

[oh my god... ho]

So far being single suuuuuuuuucks. I just got out of a horrible relationship. The guy I was flirting w/ before the break-up swept me off my feet for 3 weeks, and then suddenly dropped me like a bad habit. Actually, he still wants to see me, but probably when it is convenient for him and when he's not hanging out with the girl he claims to have ended things w/ before we got together. Riiight.

 

So pretty much all guys are interested in is getting in my pants. And silly me because I want the company but it just doesn't feel right. I mean, maybe its just me, but I enjoy sex so much more when its w/ someone who I am in a committed relationship w/ or someone I could possibly see myself w/. Romance is strong w/ in me. I just want to make someone feel special and I love feeling the same back. How could that be special when your doing that w/ 3 or 4 other people at the same time?

 

I feel so lost. The majority of people I can hang out w/ are guys who just want to screw me. I don't have many girlfriends--most either moved away or I lost because of my ex. I don't even know where to begin to make new girlfriends. I know right now that is what I really need. Also I need a sense of my independence. I hate being alone. I always have to be around other people otherwise I get depressed. Perfect example is tonight.

 

So is this normal? Does it get better? Are all the guys out there jerks or are there some nice ones too?

[SnoopyLove]

There are SOME nice guys, just not many. And ALL guys will wanna get in your pants.. It's like in their genes or something.

But sometimes, you find the one guy that when you say "can we wait"? He will say "sure, lets just talk instead!"

Good luck!

[Cognitive_Canine]

Seems like you need to work on yourself a bit. You want a monogomous relationship, so, don't settle for less. Seems like you and whoever you are dating at the time get too physical too quickly.

 

Work on yourself a little bit, get better friends to hang out with. Start exercising, take a class on your own. You know you need a sense of independence. You need to get good at being alone. Everyone needs that skill.

 

Not all guys are jerks. Don't let any guy treat you that way. Hold out till you find someone worth your time. If they wanna go faster, you slow it down. Good rule of thumb.

[kevinm]

LOL, whenever I read something like this I feel like I'm missing out... I'm a guy who wants a comitted relationship, and yet can't seem to find a woman who wants the same. Maybe there's more to it than just what we all want in the end. But I can't even find someone who will stick with me and be willing to accept me for who I am on the whole.

 

So, that said, I think the feeling is mutual between men and women.

 

-Kevin

[oh my god... ho]

Hmmm everyone says that, you need to work on yourself. But how do you do that? lol... yeah silly I know, but honestly I've been in relationships most of my adult life. I'm seeing a therapist now so maybe that'll help out.

[AuthenticAuthor]

Hmmm everyone says that, you need to work on yourself. But how do you do that? lol... yeah silly I know, but honestly I've been in relationships most of my adult life. I'm seeing a therapist now so maybe that'll help out.

 

Personally for me, I usually consider my single-hood as a "Vacation from Society". I sometimes dream of living by myself in the woods somewhere with nothing but my tools, my wits, and the wilderness. Ever seen that commercial where this guy living on an island with his monkey-friend works through his computer? That would be paradise for me.

 

Of course, I don't think I'd ever permanently detach myself from society. I just believe that we all need to take a long time-out for ourselves from each other now and then to get us to think more objectively.

[Sirquacksalot]

I've gotta say, where are your Canadian counterparts that I can meet? ;-) I've been looking for a girl who wants those same things, but can't find any. Ah well, probably just something wrong with me I guess.

 

My suggestion is look at where you're trying to meet people. Bar/party people, I think obviously, but sometimes its not to some people, want nothing to do with long-term relationships, so if thats where you're meeting them, forget it. You're better off meeting people through school, work, friends, etc if you're looking for something more permanent.

 

Then again... it hasn't worked for me yet. *shrug*

 

And the being depressed when alone part does get better... slightly.

[oh my god... ho]

Hmmm well I might have a Canadian counterpart but if I do I haven't met her I think guys have it easier maybe then girls, but maybe I'm biased. Seems like more women than men are looking for committed relationships. But I agree, the bars are not the place to meet people. However the people I have met I didn't meet at the bar... so that doesn't really help me out

 

Gosh I watched You've Got Mail today and cried at the end. LOL. Why aren't there more men like Tom Hanks? That movie is just too cute.

[balletkitten]

Keep hope - you'll find someone! And you can take control of how fast things go. I always make them wait, get to know them first. It helps you know if they are really into you for you. In the meanwhile, take up a hobby or two, and you'll meet other girls with similar interests.

 

link removed is a free dating site - there are some creeps on there, but there are good guys too.

[JadedStar]

You want a monogamous relationship with a loving guy yet you were flirting heavily with a guy three weeks before you broke up iwth your b/f?

 

Maybe you are having a tough time finding it because you didn't put out that vibe yourself?

 

If you were hot and heavy for someone else how come you didn't go ahead and break up with your b/f at that point?

 

I apologize if i have missed an integral part of your story.

[Crush85]

If you're hanging out with guys who party alot, go to bars/clubs all the time, I honestly don't know why it should be surprising that these guys behave this way.

 

Trust me, nice guys are out there. ** But it depends on where you go to find them **

 

You're not gonna find a kind hearted, gentle, faithful guy at some club. I'm sorry, but you're more likely to find a diamond in a sewer.

[tnttran]

There are SOME nice guys, just not many. And ALL guys will wanna get in your pants.. It's like in their genes or something.

But sometimes, you find the one guy that when you say "can we wait"? He will say "sure, lets just talk instead!"

Good luck!

"There are SOME nice guys, just not many. And ALL guys will wanna get in your pants.."

 

WRONG

[psychoanalytical]

Get a hobbie... there's more to life than romantic relationships!

 

Honestly i think u need to find urself before you have a chance of entering a meaningful relationship... sometimes its better to just wait, find yourself, where ur at, and find people who actually have things in common with u instead of just romantic relationships.

 

I mean, find something u feel u can contribute to... something bigger than urself... something u feel passionate about. And just do that for a while... Being single is a good time to figure urself out

[AuthenticAuthor]

Get a hobbie... there's more to life than romantic relationships!

 

Honestly i think u need to find urself before you have a chance of entering a meaningful relationship... sometimes its better to just wait, find yourself, where ur at, and find people who actually have things in common with u instead of just romantic relationships.

 

I mean, find something u feel u can contribute to... something bigger than urself... something u feel passionate about. And just do that for a while... Being single is a good time to figure urself out

 

I second that!

[lady00]

I think that it's just one of those things where you have to readjust the way you think about being single. I'm single and sometimes I think wouldn't it be great to be in a relationship? Then I realize I don't want just any relationship, so I'm willing to hold out for the right one and just enjoy being single. There are a lot of great things about not being single but being single doesn't hold you back from enjoying life and doing whatever it is you are passionate about. If you let it get you down then you'll be spending time worrying about it that you could be spending doing something more fun.

[oh my god... ho]

Oh guess I forgot to clarify: I didn't get involved w/ this guy until after my break-up, but there was some flirtation and chemistry before I broke up however I never did act on it.

 

Also, I'm not meeting these guys at the bar. They are people I've known since elementary school, or met through other friends, but all from the same town I grew up in.

 

Umm yeah finding myself would be good. That's what I'm trying to do but its crazy how lonely I get sometimes. There are definitely some good days when I think about how much I truly value my life, and then the bad days where I hate everything. I'm learning to be on my own for probably the first time in my life ever. Its so weird.

 

I'm definitely trying to hold out for the one. LOL... I'm so silly but I wasted 1 1/2 years in a relationship I knew was going no where. Everyone I know is either married or having babies. I don't think I'm quite ready for either, but if I meet someone and it happens, then I'll be ready. I'm trying to be hopeful that I'll meet someone amazing.

[boo121]

There are SOME nice guys, just not many. And ALL guys will wanna get in your pants.. It's like in their genes or something.

 

This it very true. If i see a hot girl walking down the street, i want to get in her pants too. Its just the way we are, and the way god made us.

 

Anyway, I think that you need to make friends with people. Not guys that wnt you for romantic interests, actual friends. How do you do that? well you put yourself out there, go to parties, clubs. The more you put yourself out there, the quicker you will find that "amazing someone" in your life. If you sit around, you are wasting a whole lot of time

[oh my god... ho]

Oh just to update. This guy I was seeing just told me yesterday that he had a threesome with the other girl he is seeing and one of her friends. And he still wants to see me. What the crap?

[ycmanvs]

Oh just to update. This guy I was seeing just told me yesterday that he had a threesome with the other girl he is seeing and one of her friends. And he still wants to see me. What the crap?

 

Yup, I am in a very similar situation. I have decided that the best thing to do is just BE ALONE. I spent the past 4 months dating various guys and they all end up being the type you just mentioned, so I am taking a vacation from dating.

[gcollier2002]

I have a friend who CANNOT be single. She's always running back to one of her exes (i know MANY years ago, I was one) But I keep telling her that she has to learn what makes herself happy before she can allow herself to be happy with someone else. Every time she gets close to that realization one of her exes drops by and it's back to drama-central. Just don't let yourself be lured into something you 'know' to be counterproductive. If you need sex, get a toy, get a porn, get a one-night-stand if you have to... just realize that there's no guy or girl who's going to 'complete' you. You have to do that on your own. Think of having them as the prize for completing your quest to happiness.