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What to tell the ex that wants to go for a drink?


Volkslad

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Volksdad - I like your choice of actions. If it was me (and its not), I would let her resolve her relationship with the new bf before I had any real interaction with her. I would want to be a fresh choice for her (because I think if I didn't interact, she would have no certainty with me) and not just Plan B.

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She emailed me last night.

 

"So, are we ok to go for a drink sometime now?"

 

I'm not chasing. I responded:

 

I've made it very clear how I feel about you. And you have a boyfriend that isn't me.

 

It isn't fair to him, or to me, for us to be hanging out and going for drinks.

 

You wanted to see where your relationship went, and I respect that. I hope it works out for you and I wish you the best of luck.

 

 

Wonderful response!! Classy, mature and straight to the point. Now let her sit and stew!

Bravo!

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Wonderful response!! Classy, mature and straight to the point. Now let her sit and stew!

Bravo!

 

Thanks for the input everyone.

 

She won't sit and stew..she'll think it's time to fully move on. Which is for the best for both of us.

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She's back..and I quote:

 

It makes me mad that it is so nice out and we can't go sit on a patio. You said you would always be my friend no matter what. Why did you change your mind?

 

Well it makes me mad that I have to say the same things over and over to her about why I won't be just her friend. Can she seriously not clue in that when she wanted to see where her new relationship went, that included taking a pass on our friendship?

 

I think she is trying to shift blame here..I'm trying to be his friend, but he's being irrational...? Thoughts?

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WOW..she is relentless!!! IF she wants you that much then she should think about that....stand your ground....I wouldn't even respond to the email. I think you have been very nice and very clear on what you want and I think that now she is not really respecting you and your needs!

 

YOU are not irrational..totally sane, smart and doing the right thing. Don't let her suck you in!

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Volksdad - I'm expecting a similar text from my ex at some point. I would like to respond "I am being your friend by not being a distraction in your new relationship", however I don't think she would get my sense.

 

Good response eyes..I totally get your sense....

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She's back..and I quote:

 

It makes me mad that it is so nice out and we can't go sit on a patio. You said you would always be my friend no matter what. Why did you change your mind?

 

I responded, I said:

 

We can have that discussion if you want

 

She responded:

 

yes please.

 

I'm not responding back..we work in the same office so I assume she thought I would drop by her desk to chat..or to go for an after work drink. I left and am meeting friends for drinks. If she wants to talk about it so bad, she can track me down...good luck to her cause I'll be hiding!

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