Volkslad Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I've told my ex I don't want to be friends, she does, and drops by occasionally trying to be all friendly. It doesn't work. Last time I told her point blank that I did not want to be just her friend. And now we have not spoken for..hell, only 5 days. She just sent me this email: So, are we ever going to go for a drink again, or no? She has a new BF, and I'm pretty sure the situation there has not changed. The potential responses I am considering are: No response. So I can say the same things again, and then you can say the same things again? If you are ready to admit you may have made a mistake and have realized we both need to give us a second chance, sure. I'll talk about reconciliation, but short of that, I don't really see the point. Other potential answers? I wouldn't mind going for a drink, but I will end up saying all the things I've said before..maybe not as beggy as before, but the same nonetheless. I think she is feeling bad/guilty for not asking me what my intentions towards her were before she started dating someone else (she assumed I wasn't interested), and wants to leave things on better terms. Frankly, I don't know if I want to give her that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuiks8 Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 why don't you just tell her that you are both in different places as to what you want and it is not fair of her to keep contacting you while you are trying to get over her. Tell her you have not moved on as quickly as her and you don't have an interest in being friends and ask her to respect your wishes and not contact you again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I think option 4 is the way to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallingAllAngels Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I agree with DN on this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightrambler Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 tell her to drink with her boyfriend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AronSchneider Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 My tips is to go with this date and drink a lot. Or wait, let her drink more then you so she gets little drunk. Then she will be very emotional. Just be that attractive guy, and she will likely sleep with you!!!! Most girls think highly of sex, as an emotional thing. When you are in bed she feel that you are the man... But then again, its allways problems with ex-girlfriends that have boyfriends... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tangi39 Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Yeah, don't go. There's no point. If she's doesn't stop bugging you- ignore her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmylife Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 just mail back saying something like..... 'im good thanks' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightrambler Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 My tips is to go with this date and drink a lot. Or wait, let her drink more then you so she gets little drunk. Then she will be very emotional. Just be that attractive guy, and she will likely sleep with you!!!! Most girls think highly of sex, as an emotional thing. When you are in bed she feel that you are the man... But then again, its allways problems with ex-girlfriends that have boyfriends... on second thought i like this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volkslad Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 Let's keep in mind this is the Getting Back Together Thread.. This girl apparently agonized over making a choice between me and other dude..and since I have tried to go NC, she has started chasing me..to be friends, sure, but still. How do I turn it to my advantage? How about, Let me think about it.. then I won't reply for a week.. That would drive me crazy even if I was the dumper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
npc24 Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 i think you should consider this IF you want to get back with her. it seems to me those shes being a cake and eat it too girl with an email saying "are we ever gonna for a drink again" its like, so presumptive. you should go with option 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I believe you already spelled it out to her that you don't want to be friends with her and that unless she wants to get back together then you can't have contact with her. She is not taking no for an answer, wants things HER way so she doesn't have to feel guilty and is clearly DISRESPECTING you. You should not have to repeat yourself 50 million times and have her ignore your wishes. I would say ignore her..you have made your position perfectly clear and she is disrespecting you. Let her go have a drink with loverboy and if loverboy is not so great then let her figure out what she let go once you are out of her life completely. If you keep responding to her, you are playing her game. Stop playing her game...it won't change the outcome anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Is there no way u wanna try the friends thing to show her your improvements? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 How about, Let me think about it.. then I won't reply for a week.. That would drive me crazy even if I was the dumper. Don't do that - too much like playing games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summerpeach Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Nah, don't play games with her Just say something like "why do you want to go for a drink?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
segor56 Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Option 4 is great. And, I wouldn't wait to reply. Why? Seems pretty cut and dry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan25 Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Try blowing her off coldly,telling her you cannot go for a drink this week, that you're too busy doing something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volkslad Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 So far I am leaning towards: Not responding Option 4. Option 4 + telling her Go for a drink with your boyfriend. Asking her what she wants to talk about. I know she wants to talk about us and why we can't be friends..she's never had anyone say no to her in her life and all her ex's dangle around for a year or so..some still dangle. She misses me though, I already know that. And Option 1 makes it more clear that she is going to lose me if she doesn't act soon..if that is something that concerns her. If not, then its the best way for me to move on and not get dragged back into the drama. I'm still open to more advice though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summerpeach Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 "not thristy, but thanks" "I'll just take the cash" "no thanks cause if I get drunk I may vomit on you" "sure, can I bring my gf" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AronSchneider Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 on second thought i like this Love is War. Alcohol is very good Ice-breaker and makes people do things they shouldn’t have done. My ex says that she is not in loved with me but love me and that she has no sexual desire for me. When we got together she really hated me, and it was almost impossible to get into her pants. Sure it was for 5 years ago and we were teens but I promise you that Alcohol works for her now and every other girl. My tactic is to get back to my ex is to wait 20 more days in Non-contact mode and then call her and fix up a meeting. Just be cool about the break up and then fix up another meeting. Just go out and have fun, just like a date. Then the third time we hang out we go to a bar and drink. If I don’t screw up to the other meetings we she will be positive towards me and then I have her. Once she has sex with me she will be trapped! Im so evil! It took me like 6 months or something to get her to fall in love with me for five years ago so I can wait for her before I get my closure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilBear Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 This girl apparently agonized over making a choice between me and other dude..and since I have tried to go NC, she has started chasing me..to be friends, sure, but still. How do I turn it to my advantage? How about, Let me think about it.. then I won't reply for a week.. That would drive me crazy even if I was the dumper. First - she is with this dude, not you. Second - playing games won't bring you anywhere, read: she is with this dude and not you. Thirdly - if she wants you back, she will let you know loud and clear, I mean when she broke up with you, she made it clear that she no longer wants to date you right? Finally, I agree with DN, go with the fourth option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karvala Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 So, are we ever going to go for a drink again, or no? So, are we ever going to get together again, or no? If she can't answer that, you can't hers either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mankow Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 my ex ex once said she will always love me and don't trust me and when we have gone for a drink we had some of the better night together! and that was all!! good time anyway I don't regret it! SO go after how you really feel and it all will be good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mankow Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 PS being my ex ex now it is good but in that moment not soo good as she was only ex!!!!! so having a wider view anyway maybe it will be some other lady in the future so don't play sooooooo hard to get!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Censored Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 Option 4. Solid, clear and mature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.