Broke NC after 21 days.. Feel better?

[babysunshine]

So I posted a couple days ago saying that after 21 days I broke NC and texted him. We texted for a bit. I said I missed him in my life. He said he missed me more than anything. We decided to talk the next day. We talked for about two hours just about things that were happening in our lives nothing really about "us". The bext day he called me back and we talked even more. I kind of jumped the gun and mentioned since we both missed each other soo much and still loved each other and don;t want to date other people we should just get back! (jokingly but seriously). He said he couldnt be in any relationship because his life is such a mess right now. (Lot's of debt, working 10+hours a day. I quickly changed the subject. The kicker is he mentioned he was coming into my city (he lives in New York, I live in San Francisco) in a month for a wedding. I joked about being his plus one for the wedding and he said of course he would love to take me. Also, we talked about going out during the wekeend he would be here and he even mentioned something about staying with me. (He has family and tons of friends in SF that he could stay with). I knwo you're all thinking "booty call" but he was the one that decided we would not have sex unless we were in a relationship beause it would be too hard for us. My question now is, we are slowly talking on a daily basis and having great converstaion. he texts me "goodnight" and always answers my texts and calls. The problem is I LOVE talking to him. He truly is my best friend and knows me better than anyone but when I broke NC and talked to him he said he missed me more than anything and was struggling so much not being able to talk to me. He was miserable. I feel like if I would have just held out a little longer (maybe a month) he would be back in the palm of my hands. =( So, do I go back to NC? Or do I continue talking to him? By talking to him I can show him how I have changed. I dont nag on the phone, I dont call him a million times a day, Im positive, upbeat... basically the girl he first met. I can tell he notices it too. PLUS I do want to spend a great weekend when he comes for the wedding. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!! sorry this is so long

[pumpkinmoon]

Hi,

 

Did you post your break up story somewhere?

 

I'm not sure what to suggest here. I think it may be sill to go back to NC after these developments but maybe you shoul'dnt text or call so often so it looks like you're a little busier than you are?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

What are the odds you will get back together and live in the same city again where you can seriously date? 'Feeling good' contacting him is a short term fix, and not a solution to a long term problem that he is in NY and won't let you move out there to be with him.

 

People can get quite nostalgic about 'the good times' and miss the contact, but that doesn't necessarily mean they will get back together, nor that anything has really changed since the breakup. You may be getting your hopes up really high when he thinks you are just on your way to putting the breakup behind you and becoming friends but not lovers again. Or just a nostalgic fun sexy weekend, then he's back in NY and you're in San Fran and it's still over.

 

If he does come to town you need to talk seriously about whether you are getting together again, and if so, when you will be moving to NY. If he seriously won't consider that, your relationship has a built in time limit, which is sporadic contact until he meets someone new in NY and totally breaks if off with you.

 

I know you are very attached to him, but if he is moving on with his life far away and is not willing to let it progress with you in the same town, then it won't go anywhere and you are just postponing the breakup.