personal insults during an argument

[sourpeach]

Yes, maybe you need to find a blind man. This is so unrealistic that I can't believe someone could actually believe there is a man out there who will NEVER notice a pretty woman.

 

The problem is that you need self esteem on your own. Someone else should not be able to destroy it. You are looking for a man to make you have high confidence and that does not work.

 

YOu have a long road ahead of you.

 

And just because a man notices a model on tv or a great looking chick walking by does not mean he doesn't only have eyes for you. I think you are going to continue to attract the biggest of internet losers for so long as you have this mindset.

 

there is a difference between noticing and oogling. noticing to me is when someone walks by and you see them while they are in your line of sight (not having to turn your head to stare) and being able to say "ok they're attractive, so what?". if he turns his head, or his reaction is "GOD DAMN SHE LOOKS GOOOOOD I'D LIKE TO HIT THAT".. then that's the kind of guy i dont want to be with. that is just unacceptable, for me.

 

and i do not plan on having future internet relationships.

[Batya33]

there is a difference between noticing and oogling. noticing to me is when someone walks by and you see them while they are in your line of sight (not having to turn your head to stare) and being able to say "ok they're attractive, so what?". if he turns his head, or his reaction is "GOD DAMN SHE LOOKS GOOOOOD I'D LIKE TO HIT THAT".. then that's the kind of guy i dont want to be with. that is just unacceptable, for me.

 

and i do not plan on having future internet relationships.

 

Yes, that is true but that is not what you wrote above - you were writing just about "noticing." what you described above is simply rude unless the girlfriend is fine with it (or the boyfriend, as the case may be).

[sourpeach]

Yes, that is true but that is not what you wrote above - you were writing just about "noticing." what you described above is simply rude unless the girlfriend is fine with it (or the boyfriend, as the case may be).

 

then i should have been more clear. what i meant before is a guy who will watch tv and verbalize every time he finds some woman attractive, or if its on the street, actually turn his head. and not for nothing... a lot of guys would call this "just noticing".

 

but still, even just noticing... why? why should they, why would they? you're out with your SO, you should be looking at THEM, not everyone else.

[PriscillaRS]

Doesn't seem like you two have a very healthy relationship. Could you imagince raising kids in that environment?

 

These problems aren't going to dissipate, most likely they are only going to grow.

 

Relationships are supposed to be about balance, love and respect. It seems like you two are just living on "love."

 

This is not the sixties people, lets start living in reality. Sounds like you need to let go and move on.

[JadedStar]

Sourpeach i have known many women with crippling insecurities like yourself. You say you wold only be mad if they oogle or mention "she's hot" but i have a strong hunch that whether he says a word or not your mind will tell you that is what he is THINKING.

 

Most men are not stupid enough to ogle and make comments like that. A few knuckleheads are but the majority of men are not like that and since you have lumped all men into that same ball it makes me think that your mind does a lot of projecting on what you think they are thinking whether they say a word or not.

 

Your insecurity does not sound at all at a healthy level.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Maybe I missed it, but what about him makes you think he doesn't look at other women?

 

I know how you feel. I really do. It's easy for people to kind of be hard on you because they know how destructive your mindset is. They just want to see you happy and healthy. It's so hard to live in this world, worried about being "fat" and seeing all of these disgustingly fake perfect women. You're left wondering "WHO THE @#&% WOULD WANT ME?" Most (all, don't lie) of us know how that feels every now and then.

 

Sadly, probably 99.9% of straight (and even gay, hehe) men look at "hot" women. They like porn, they like anything attractive, willing, and/or naked. Also, if you two spend inordinate amounts of time on the internet, he likely has spends inordinate amounts of time looking at naked chicks on the web.

 

Men who are active, driven, and social actually find less of a need to oogle women because they are motivated outside of easy temptations. Find a guy like that; someone who can help you live life instead of being isolated.

 

You have to value yourself or you will always just be an object. People will think they can insult you, make you second best, and treat you like garbage. You are your own best advocate.

[JadedStar]

Great post!