babysunshine Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 Well.. I actually posted last night about my situation and decided that contacting him was not a good idea. Today I started off strong and after 20 days of NC I texted him. It started off with just giving him the score to a basketball game that is not broadcast in his state like I used to. It ended up with me saying "I miss you in my life" and him responding "I miss you more than anything" and ultimately ending by deciding we would talk tomorrow. Deep in my gut I know that it is just himmissing me and wanting to have a friendly converstation and catch up, BUT I can't help but "hope" that after 20 days of NC he might have changed his mind. I know the word hope in this forum is like garlic to a vampirebut it's how I feel. So after reading many other people's experiences on here I knwo I should act happy, nonchalant, and most importantly NOT BRING UP THE RELATIONSHIP. Any more advice??? I'm so scared that this friendly little chat tomorrow might set me back a ton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana0120 Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 I think you have the right idea. Also, be ready to leave and find a good excuse for leaving if you're finding it too difficult or finding yourself very tempted to start talking about it. Just focus on having a good time - status of your relationship, or lack of aside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted April 3, 2008 Author Share Posted April 3, 2008 Lana-Thanks for the quick response. Ijust really hope I can portray the happy, confident person I think I am right now without brreaking down and asking questions. I want him back more than anyhting in this world =( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana0120 Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 Yeah, it's hard, but you can do it. When you feel your resolve weakening, go to the bathroom or something to give you a chance to regain your resolve, or as I said, if you're feeling like you can't handle it anymore, politely remove yourself from the situation with some excuse made in advance, perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tatanya4me Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 In a situation like that, with postive thinking and a positive attitude, can it reignite the ex's interest in her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana0120 Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 In a situation like that, with postive thinking and a positive attitude, can it reignite the ex's interest in her? I don't know about that (although it's always possible), but what I do know is this: thinking positive and having a positive attitude are not things that are going to harm you. Coming accross as insecure can not only harm your prospects with someone else, but it can harm you because it's another memory scarring your psyche and contributing to even lower self confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted April 3, 2008 Author Share Posted April 3, 2008 Tatanya- That's what I am truly hoping for. To have a great attitude and happy persona so that maybe just maybe he might feel a little something. I'll let you all know what happens with the conversation tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted April 3, 2008 Author Share Posted April 3, 2008 By the way... It will be a phone conversation.Not in person because he lives about five states away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tatanya4me Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 With different ex's, I don't know if a strong, happy persona is needed to attract them back, or a weak, helpless persona? (esp if the ex was a person who like to take care of people out of a sense of guilty or duty). Good luck with your phone conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana0120 Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 If a person did like to take care of their partner and took someone back out of a sense of guilt or duty... that would be a recipe for disaster. But it's true, that different people are looking for different things. I think the happy, independent approach is a better one to go for though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litgirl01 Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 Let us know how it goes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AronSchneider Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 Never contact your ex if not children are involved or you need to get your stuff back. My goal is not to talk to my ex for about 1 month. Then she will call me about my stuff and talk to me. She most call me anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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