one awful night over my driving

[Colls]

Hey, im so upset right now and i have no one to talk to. We were at my grandmothers house today and my brother wanted to leave. So he took my parents car, and i had to drive home with them. They flipped out on how i drive and started screaming at me. At first I was mad that they were yelling at me and then i started yelling back. My dad was the one who was really yelling at me, my mom was just tryin to talk to me. The thing is, i wasnt driving bad at all, and they just liketo find everything wrong with the way i drive.

 

My dad and I havent gotten along in a couple years, i really cant stand him, which bothers me. He finds everything wrong with wverything i do. Hes so sarcastic all the time, and it makes me so mad. Tonight i just couldnt take it and for the first time in my life i told him that i hate him. I also said that i hate my mother, which i dont i love her to death, but i couldnt just say to my dad that i hate him because i didnt want him to think i really hated him. ( i kno its weird, but i dont kno where my reasonging was ).

 

I said that i wouldnt care if i died because it would make life easier for everyone. I have an awesome house and family, i just dont get along with my dad.

 

I think the reason i hate them yelling at me is because i just want their approval and for them to know im really a good kid.

 

I just feel so sick to my stomach right now. Ive been crying for an hour now. I want to go to my aunts house and stay there for the night. Its thanksgiving and i really dont feel like having to cry and be upset. I thought u were suppose to spend the holidays happy with your family. I hate him so much, can someone please talk to me, every pain ive ever had is coming to me right now. i wish i never had to drice home with them tonite, i wouldnt even be in this situation, i would be downstairs with my mom laughin and talking, but instead im up in my room crying and wishing i had someone to hug.

[avman]

Hmmm. Aren't holidays interesting? I don't know what it is that causes so many people to be on their absolute worst behavior. You are right, this is supposed to be the time that we all enjoy with each other and sing songs around the fireplace and smile at each other while we eat.

 

At least thats what the media would have us believe.

 

Reality is that hardly any families behave that way. EVERY family I've ever met is disfunctional in some way. That doesn't mean there isn't love, its just that they aren't perfect. I think our expectations are set so high around the holidays that once something goes wrong we snap.

 

I remember some of the most vicious arguments in my family and they were at Thanksgiving and Christmas. And then when I was on my own there was an Easter when I told my brother to get out of my house and never come back (we made up a couple weeks later). Sure we laugh about it NOW, but it was no fun back then. There was real hurt and of course it was all of us just being really stupid.

 

I'm sorry it went badly for you today. Is there any chance of going down to talk to you dad and just saying your really sorry? Then hug him and try to tell him it really hurts you when he criticizes you like that? I know I'm making it sound simpler than it really is, but what have you got to lose? Maybe he feels bad too...

 

Hang in there - ok?

[HollyBells]

People say things they don't mean, that includes your dad, so thats maybe why you haven't been getting along. I don't get along with my dad too much either, but I love him though. I say stupid stuff all da time, and he is not very adult abt it either, 'cause he yells back. Anyway, Mark Twain once said: "I was surpised how smart my parents got in just 2 years" Ofcourse he meant that it is him who has begun to understand them, before that I guess he thought they were stupid or something, anyway, I hope it helped...

[tainted_soul]

huh. yeah me and my parents don't get along either- especially my dad. i dunno why. i won't get into that. my whole family doesn't like me for reasons that vary from person to person, but it's basically the same reason, it just affects people differently. like i can't have knives. but here's my theory-

1) hate is natural. you CAN truly hate somebody. maybe you hate your dad. maybe you don't. you have to think about whether you finally said what you've always felt, or you simply don't like him, and you snapped in a tough situation.

2) hate isn't healthy. trust me here. it wipes you out in a bad way. you have to put it aside, don't let it dominate you.

3) if you find out you do hate someone, truly, you can't stop it, you need to figure out why. something has to change- they say no one can hate forever, they're wrong- just sometimes forever is shorter for some people. If you know you hate him, you have to deal with it. Not just one of you, but BOTH of you, have to change. you have to confront him, (he probably doesn't think you REALLY hate him- parents rarely do) and let him know. try to figure out why, or if you know why, try to tell him why you hate him so much.

4) if none of this helps- or you can't, for whatever reasons, try to do anything- find someone else to talk to. yeah, i get that your parents are almost always (always, in my case) the last people you really want to share something personal with that concerns them. but you'll probably explode if you don't talk to someone. i mean someone real, in a real conversation, with real people, where you can smell what they ate but you don't care because you have someone to talk to. THAT is who you need to talk to.

 

hope this helps.