kekep Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I've been seeing this guy since mid-January. Usually we see each 2-3 times a week, and talk everyday either over email, aim or phone/texting. I almost always let him initiate contact. Anyway, when we first started dating, he was really pursuing me, always sending me funny emails and trying to make plans. Because I knew he was just coming out of a long relationship w/a girl, I played it very cool and did not make myself so available to him. Things were going well and I was really enjoying the pace of things, up until this point. I've really started to like this guy but I don't know if we're on the same page, and I'm getting frustrated. For instance, last Wednesday we went out and he was super loveydovey with me the whole night. That night, he told me he wasn't seeing anybody else b/c he liked me so much. I told him the same. Then I got exactly one text from him the next day, just talking about how busy and frazzled he was at work. OK. The last 3 days have been more of the same. I'll get texts from him but they're not rockin my world. Friday he sent me a text saying it was "Steak and BJ day, y'know" which I laughed off, but come on dude! Later on that night (he was out of town for the night) I got a--what a believe was--a drunk text because it was pretty much indecipherable. Saturday it was all about how sunburned he was from the st. patty's day party...that he didn't invite me too! starting to feel neglected here dude. yesterday i texted him around noon to say which float some of my friends would be on b/c i knew he'd be out at the parade they were riding in...and i didn't even hear back from him until 2 hours later! these could all be coincidences, i know, but to me it feels like he's starting to lose interest generally, he responds to my texts quickly but it seems like lately he's been slacking...ugh, this is so frustrating. i guess i'm just wondering, is he just not as interested in me as he used to be?? I mean, if you like somebody, don't you generally try and make plans with them on the weekend?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 maybe he is starting to change his mind. maybe he isn't feeling any forward progress with you and is getting over trying with you. why not go a bit nc and see what happens? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HyruleGuardian Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Sounds like he's becoming distant to me. I say either stop responding to his texts/calls for awhile or confront him about it and ask what's going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ycmanvs Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 These are things you should ask him directly. It sounds like he likes to party but he likes you too, so just make a date and ask him what he wants from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 yeah, i'd distance myself from him a bit too and see if that spurs him into action. it seems like after that lovey-dovey evening, now he's backing off. it could be just a temporary 'rubber band' pull away described in the mars and venus books. i agree with going no contact, or not responding to his texts, or taking a few days to get back to him. if he calls and asks what you're up to, just call him the next day or send a text message like, 'sorry - crazy busy here, talk to you next week!' and see what happens. i guess, in short, don't be so available to him, maybe be a bit more like you were in the beginning. my hunch is that once he knows you aren't sitting by the phone waiting for his call anymore, he won't take you for granted anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayoverit Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 One of the climax of a guy chasing a girl is to "confess"... This climax is like throwing a bait out to fish. After this confession, it's all wait and see what your reaction is. If you are aloof and not bite madly after this point, so is he. He will wait patiently for your reaction. If there's no bite, he'll slowly find that his confession was a mistake. So in that sense, unlike the other posters, I say show him more love. Chase him back. Hope it makes sense to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 One of the climax of a guy chasing a girl is to "confess"... This climax is like throwing a bait out to fish. After this confession, it's all wait and see what your reaction is. If you are aloof and not bite madly after this point, so is he. He will wait patiently for your reaction. If there's no bite, he'll slowly find that his confession was a mistake. So in that sense, unlike the other posters, I say show him more love. Chase him back. Hope it makes sense to you. but he hasn't asked her out since the confession. just a series of half-assed texts.... and she came out to see him at the parade, and he didn't text her back until 2 hours later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kekep Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 just a quick update...it turns out he spent all saturday partying for st. patty's day...with his ex-gf! she posted pics all over facebook of them hanging out. yepppp, while i slaving away at work on saturday, he was getting drunk and hanging around her. i felt like SUCH an idiot. the good news is, i'm so pissed about what he did that i haven't responded to his (one) attempt at contacting me since the pics went up. blowing him off and not giving him any reaction has felt pretty dern good, i must admit! hopefully one day i'll find somebody who doesn't suck so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellbell225 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 He sounds like an alchoholic...I would steer clear 1: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luxe_13 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 omg your sitch is soooo similar to mine. the answer to my frustration is that the guy liked me but was freaking out about entering another r'ship. i confronted him and then backed off. a week later he came back but a month later, same thing happened. so this time i have backed off even further. told him not to chat to me on MSN and have decided to cease all contact for atleast a month. this will give him time to really think about what he wants. why dont u try the same? let me know how things go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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