babysunshine Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I have posted twice on here both times explaining how my boyfriend of four years (two of which have been long distance) broke up with me on our four year anniverasary which also happened to be Valentine's Day.... In actuality he had broken up with me a few days before but I was in so much denial that I actually still bought my ticket to visit him on V-Day and he told me if I got on that plane he would "leave me at the airport". After this I was so hurt and schocked that I did the pleading, begging, then switching to ok we can just be friends to completely cutting him out for two weeks. Anyways, In a couple weeks I'm going to be going back home to visit family and he will be there for a friend's birthday party. We finally talked on the phone because he said I could call anytime and decided that since a month has passed and the dust has somewhat settled we could meet up and talk about things. (Mostly for me because I am so conused and hurt and I think after four years of spending my life with someone I deserve more than just a phone call telling me he loves me more than anything but "isnt in love with me". My question is: Is this a good idea to see him in person and talk? Ive gotten past the stage where I feel that if only I can see him he would want me back, it' s more along the lines of I want to see him because four years is too long to just break off with a phone call.... Any insight would be sooo helpful for me. Anyone done this? How did you feel after seeing them and talking? Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 heey well its been about 5 months since me and the ex broke up, and its past the stage where i have any expectations- i'm just glad that we can be civilised towards each other and be friends (sort of). Nevertheless, i still get butterflies in my stomach when i see him. So it's not about whether it's a good idea to sit down and talk, it's about whether you can handle it. I'm sure you can, but just be prepared to feel something. i often expect to feel nothing when i talk to my ex because so much time has passed, but it's never the case. Especially since you two are meeting up to talk about the relationship. It could get messy, you have to make sure you keep what you say under control and don't lose your cool. gd luck xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Anyone who uses the 'I love you but Im not in love with you anymore' deserves to be out of your life completely. Its a cowards excuse. He should have laid out the reasons why he was breaking up with you to give you peace of mind and alow you to learn from those mistakes and move on with your life. You dont want him back. He sounds like he has no respect for you or your feelings. He hasn't even given you a decent explanation. No contact is the way forward, absoloutley. You'll feel horrible after seeing him, because you still love him. You can only resume a friendship once your over the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 i would not. i would get the book, 'it's called a breakup because it's broken' and read it from cover to cover. i am sorry he broke up with you so harshly. i don't think you are ready to be friends with him just yet, you will need a lot of time to heal. what do you really want to hear from him that he hasn't told you over the phone? he doesn't want to be together, that's the most important thing. sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GetMeBack Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I agree with the previous posters.. Anyone who picks on the word "love" in demonstrating their love for you, quite simply DONT LOVE YOU. You should not waste anymore time on this man But channel this energy into yourself. You will feel much better for it in the long run. Give him what he wants. You not in his life. And concentrate on moving forward. The more time you spend going after Mr Wrong. The longer it will take for Mr right to come into your life.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted March 6, 2008 Author Share Posted March 6, 2008 Thank you everyone for responding. I do agree that it's probably not the best idea but sadly enough I am going through with it. I know that it sounds silly to say and most people would say you dont need answes to the questions for closure but I need to see him one last time and actually talk face toface. Since he is long distance I feel like breaking up over the phone is easierobvioulsy for him than seeing me right in front of him. I guess what I mean is if I don't do it I'll regret it. Even if I know it might hurt me more in the end? I feel so ridiculous.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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