thouse Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Not answer the phone when the ex calls you. I am in NC right now because I know that is what's best for me, but how can you heal when you still love them but you know they can't give you what you need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana0120 Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Change your phone number? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barbielovesmac Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 it's as simple as not answering it. once you do it a few times it will get easier everytime he calls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted February 13, 2008 Author Share Posted February 13, 2008 it's as simple as not answering it. once you do it a few times it will get easier everytime he calls. I have not answered his calls about 15 times between Saturday and now and it hasn't gotten any easier. I know it will get easier though. Or atleast I hope it will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barbielovesmac Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 well hopefully he'll eventually get the hint. if it becomes too much to bear i'd go with what lana said. sure it's a little extreme but you won't have to agonize over seeing his phone calls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 im a big fan of changing your number.... this way you don't have to worry about them calling ... and dealing with that.. and then ..when they stop .. you don't have to wonder.."why did they stop" .. it puts you at ease because you aren't jumping every time your phone rings... if changing your number isn't an option for you .. maybe talk to your phone company about having the number blocked? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted February 13, 2008 Author Share Posted February 13, 2008 It's my cell phone so they can't block his number, I have changed my number before and he ended up getting it so it's not even worth that since my son's school and daycare and everyone else in the free world has this number. I'm sure as time passes things will get easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana0120 Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 If he's phoning you so often it's reached the point of harassment, and doesn't let up soon, you should take some form of action to prevent him from phoning you anymore. Enough is enough. Hopefully though, he will get the message soon if you just keep ignoring those calls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sara1 Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 You can have a number blocked from your cell phone by just calling your provider. Otherwise, i would say pick up the phone and call a friend to avoid picking it up if you don't feel speaking with him is good for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted February 13, 2008 Author Share Posted February 13, 2008 I just can't understand why he won't just let things be the way they are. He didn't feel he wanted to be in a relationship with me, but he wanted to be friends. I tried that for awhile because we had been childhood friends and basically grew up together. It got to be too much and this weekend I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. That's when he started calling me like crazy. I think things will die down. It's just the initial shock because I think he senses that I am serious this time. For me it's just hard because I've never ignored his calls for so long before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnxiousGirl Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Not answer the phone when the ex calls you. I am in NC right now because I know that is what's best for me, but how can you heal when you still love them but you know they can't give you what you need. It's like the hardest thing in the world to do! I guess you have to let the phone ring until they leave a message stating that they want a relationship with you. Easier said than done! People say that it's selfish when an ex keeps calling. Does anyone ever think that maybe the person who ended the relationship is having a hard time letting go too? Why keep in touch if there's no reason to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted February 13, 2008 Author Share Posted February 13, 2008 It's like the hardest thing in the world to do! I guess you have to let the phone ring until they leave a message stating that they want a relationship with you. Easier said than done! People say that it's selfish when an ex keeps calling. Does anyone ever think that maybe the person who ended the relationship is having a hard time letting go too? Why keep in touch if there's no reason to? That's what I think he doesn't want to let go for whatever reason. He said that I never really loved him because if I did there would be no way I could walk away from 15 years of friendship and 4 years of dating, partly he uses that as guilt but the other part is I don't think he really understands how I feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilBear Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Think about it this way. HE never really loved YOU because if he does he wouldn't have walked away after 15+4 years, right? I suggest you change your number. It seems like the best way to avoid the temptation to answer calls/make calls. Win-win situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shayshay07 Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 What helped me was I changed his name in my cell phone to Don't Answer!!BSer!! (but spelled out) or something that discouraged me from answering his calls when it came up on my screen. Later I also lied and told him I got a new man, and we're moving in together, so I cant answer his calls like that, and he can't come over. He didn't completely stop calling, but it went from every day to maybe once or twice a month. The more time that passed that we didn't talk, I started getting over him and dating other people. Now I have the best boyfriend ever, and I realize how dumb I was for wasting 4 years of my life with my ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnxiousGirl Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 That's what I think he doesn't want to let go for whatever reason. He said that I never really loved him because if I did there would be no way I could walk away from 15 years of friendship and 4 years of dating, partly he uses that as guilt but the other part is I don't think he really understands how I feel. What? How did YOU walk away? He was the one who didn't want the relationship with you. He was content on accepting all the benefits without the official title. You weren't comfortable with that so you did what you had to do. He had his chance to make things right so technically HE was the one who walked away. You're just trying to protect yourself. There's no point in hanging around if you're going nowhere with him. It's not really fair for you to put your life on hold and play the waiting game with him. 15 years of friendship + 4 years together= 19 years of history. That's tough, but he knows what you want. Let the phone keep ringing until he can be in your life in the way you want him to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 What? How did YOU walk away? He was the one who didn't want the relationship with you. He was content on accepting all the benefits without the official title. You weren't comfortable with that so you did what you had to do. He had his chance to make things right so technically HE was the one who walked away. You're just trying to protect yourself. There's no point in hanging around if you're going nowhere with him. It's not really fair for you to put your life on hold and play the waiting game with him. 15 years of friendship + 4 years together= 19 years of history. That's tough, but he knows what you want. Let the phone keep ringing until he can be in your life in the way you want him to be. Thanks for this I needed it. "Let the phone keep ringing until he can be in your life in the way you want him to be" this is exactly what I plan I just didn't think it would be this hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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