So I did It

[thouse]

Me and my ex have been broken up since about July, and have been in LC since about August. I would let him always initiate contact and we would see each other sometimes. The last time we saw each other was Saturday and we ended up being intimate. He had been dropping hints and making ambigious statements that I needed clarification on so I would not be sitting around analyzing what he might mean. Long Story short today I send him a text. I asked him if he still loved me and that if Saturday meant anything, because I felt like it was wrong of us to do it if we were not together. He replied that he was sorry that I felt that way, and that he would always love me. I then went on to tell him that I find the statements that he makes to be confusing and that if he feels like he's made a mistake why doesn't he try to make things right between us. He then tells me that he is not the same person he was when we first met 15 yrs ago (who is???) and that his current ex has caused him so much pain (really really bad situation, she is now married to someone else and has a baby from this person) that he's just not a good person, but that I was always there for him and that he will always love me for it. I then told him that I felt like those were just excuses to not put in the work that it would take to make our relationship work but that it was totally his decision and if he really loved then do me a favor and really let go of me and leave me alone. To that I did not get a reply.

 

So here I am sad but not how I was when we first broke up. This place has really helped and put a lot of things into perspective for me. He says he loves me but I know he does not love me enough to make things work. Me and him were friends 12 yrs before we started dating and we dated for 4 years so that fact of never seeing or speaking to him again really saddens me but I know this is what needs to happen in order for us BOTH to really move on. He's dating other women and something that scares me is he said something along the lines of "he's gone make them pay for all the pain" and that he's cried many nights. Instead of dealing with his pain in a mature way these women will probably have their feelings hurt and I am sure he will still be left with that same pain in the future. Oh well though I just hope he respects what I've asked from him and that is NC.

 

I am ready to know what else is out there I have been in pain for so long. I just felt like I had to lay it all out there and let him know exactly how I felt before fully moving on. I think I did the right thing.

[Belle]

I think you did the right thing too. You sound far more mature and healthier than this guy. You'll be fine. I feel sorry for him, and especially for the women that will have to deal with his toxic behavior.

 

You should feel good about yourself for standing up for yourself. You said no mas, and you are leaving on your terms. Some women would be in denial about the confusion and accept whatever they can get. But you know better. And you deserve better.

 

This isn't the end of feeling sad about it, but doing what's best for you will make you feel like a million bucks in the future.

[mezmerist]

Good for you. You should feel proud of doing this, I know it is so hard to step up and say "I need you out of my life for good" when it's the last thing you want. But just remember that you are taking care of yourself, and loving yourself, and you just be proud of yourself for that. Good luck with healing!

[thouse]

I think you did the right thing too. You sound far more mature and healthier than this guy. You'll be fine. I feel sorry for him, and especially for the women that will have to deal with his toxic behavior.

 

You should feel good about yourself for standing up for yourself. You said no mas, and you are leaving on your terms. Some women would be in denial about the confusion and accept whatever they can get. But you know better. And you deserve better.

 

This isn't the end of feeling sad about it, but doing what's best for you will make you feel like a million bucks in the future.

Yes, I will be fine I have been going through this with him for awhile now so I am kind of used to all of it. He just sent me a text saying he doesn't understand why we just can't be friends and not have sex anymore. He feels that we have been friends too long to just say never talk to me again, he says I never loved him because if I did I wouldn't want to just cut him out of my life totally like that. What I can't understand is why he just won't just let me go, and he and I move on to whatever may be waiting for us. If you don't want a relationship why hold on.