daddysmakinmonsters Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 My boyfriend and i have lived together for a year and have been dating for 2. He never lets me on his computer it has been going on for a while everytime i even get close to the computer he freaks out So one day when i was home alone I thought i'd find out what he was hiding. I found a file marked Betty(which is my name) so I opened it there I found photos of me sleeping photos of my clothes and shoes he was burning cds of us having sex without me knowing and worst of all there are photos of me when im out with friends or at work I don't know how he's getting these I didnt even know he owned a digital camera! He has been keeping a diary about me which is about 50 pages I haven't confronted him about it and i am slowily reading the diary (only because of the pictures i found) they are dates and excact run downs of what i did say or wore that day. I dont know how to confront him about this . any advice i am seriously freaked out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I would grab a close friend or two when confronting him and have them be outside the house if things became out of control. I would be quite creeped out and a little scared if I were in your position. I'd even think about moving out and requesting him to seek help....but that's just me. You should confront him first and go from there. But make sure that you are in a safe situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinm Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Yikes. One phrase comes to mind: Restraining Order. Get some help, make a plan, and get out. -Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leo_s84 Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Wow..this guy is totally psycho... i'd run fast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avman Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 What kevinm said. Restraining order. Get one now and get out before you end up a statistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I am with the other two on this. That is real creepy and gross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daddysmakinmonsters Posted January 27, 2008 Author Share Posted January 27, 2008 he seems normal most of the time i mean hes not controlling or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 yeah, but there is definitely a problem here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 He is invading your privacy...that is creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 do you know any of his exes? Perhaps you should seek one out and find out why they broke up? I'd confront him first though. I can't stress enough that you should be safe about it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 he seems normal most of the time i mean hes not controlling or anything. He IS being controlling by stalking you and especially when it comes to burning cd's of you two having sex????.. that is just WRONG! get away fast as you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Well, he already has been invading your privacy and taping you behind your back. I wouldn't let anything past this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I dated a police officer for two years, and he did this to me. Creep'd me out! I left him. Run girl, and don't look back. Get a restraining order on him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Wow. This seems like something out of a movie. Especially when someone made a comment about you becoming a statistic... *shudder* You are gonna break up with him right? And have you never ever noticed him taking any pictures? How did he get the ones of you sleeping? When your over at his place? He must have some experience if he was able to keep this up for 2 years! Do you keep your pics on your pc? Maybe he hacked into your computer and can see all your computer activities too. OH and try and get rid of all the cd's of you having sex etc before you confront him. Or delete all his files or anything. DYT did the police officer ever tell you/explain why he was doing it? Or what was going on in his twisted mind.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Wow. This seems like something out of a movie. Especially when someone made a comment about you becoming a statistic... *shudder* You are gonna break up with him right? And have you never ever noticed him taking any pictures? How did he get the ones of you sleeping? When your over at his place? He must have some experience if he was able to keep this up for 2 years! Do you keep your pics on your pc? Maybe he hacked into your computer and can see all your computer activities too. OH and try and get rid of all the cd's of you having sex etc before you confront him. Or delete all his files or anything. DYT did the police officer ever tell you/explain why he was doing it? Or what was going on in his twisted mind.. No thats the scary part. I had no idea, and we lived together. He had other cops watching me when he couldn't, and thats how I found out. One of them told me he was obsessed with me, and had to know every minute of every day what I was doing. He did admit it when I confronted him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 this is a form of mental illness to have the need to monitor your every move and violate your privacy like this. it really isn't normal. i think you might want to make plans to move out, and just do it. make sure you are in a safe place when you do, and tell him over the phone that you know he has been stalking you and it is not acceptable to you. if you genuinely think he is harmless (i.e., not violent), then you might want to hear him out and suggest counseling for him, but i think he has officially entered the territory of scary and not sure you want to be around. he may get treatment, but it has to be for himself, and not to try to manipulate you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchester3 Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Thats a little weird. The diary is somewhat understandable, i used to keep notes about dates with my girlfriend. What she was wearing/what we did and when we did it. That was for future reference so that when she wears that shirt again or w/e i could be like "Ohhh i remember when you wore that shirt, we did this, this and that", so that she'd think i was paying super special attention to her. That stopped after 10 dates maybe, in my mind i was saying "She already likes me, so now i don't have to try as hard to impress her. Time to be more myself!". The photos and stuff, thats pretty creepy. Then again if my girlfriend was doing that to me, i'd be a little flattered. Then creeped out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallingAllAngels Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I would grab a close friend or two when confronting him and have them be outside the house if things became out of control. I would be quite creeped out and a little scared if I were in your position. I'd even think about moving out and requesting him to seek help....but that's just me. You should confront him first and go from there. But make sure that you are in a safe situation. I most definitely agree with this...and if he hassles you, get a restraining order...better safe than sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonboy582 Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Do you keep your pics on your pc? Maybe he hacked into your computer and can see all your computer activities too. OH and try and get rid of all the cd's of you having sex etc before you confront him. Or delete all his files or anything. That got me thinking so as a little test to see how easy it is to get this stuff I tried getting stuff of my ex (asked her permission first ofc). From what I know about her, I gained access to her facebook/myspace/emails/University online account. I dont even have facebook so can't look at her profile in normal ways anyway. From FB and myspace you can check her friends profiles and see what pictures they have of her. Its even easier on FB because u have pictures "flagged" of what you are in. If I could be bothered I'm sure I could get more. Scary how much stuff can be found out by someone if they know you or even don't know you. So a word of warning if you don't want weirdos collecting things about you dont put them online. And definitely leave the guy now and I agree bout sex tapes DESTROY them or he could use them against you in future if he wanted. Jon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleadragonhawk Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Make plans to leave immediately. Only confront him after you are ready to get out, and then do it in a public place (lunch at a restaurant, for example) with friends nearby. Seriously consider a restraining order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Thats a little weird. The diary is somewhat understandable, i used to keep notes about dates with my girlfriend. What she was wearing/what we did and when we did it. That was for future reference so that when she wears that shirt again or w/e i could be like "Ohhh i remember when you wore that shirt, we did this, this and that", so that she'd think i was paying super special attention to her. That stopped after 10 dates maybe, in my mind i was saying "She already likes me, so now i don't have to try as hard to impress her. Time to be more myself!". Even doing that much is fairly creepy IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catwalk Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I'd first off make sure that file and all the pictures is sent to someone else, he could press 'delete' and make it all go away..... then if he does something really bad there will be nothing to back it up and they will think YOU are crazy (which is awful, I know) Then you need to take those files, pictures, video's and everything else and go to a police station. Tell them you need an officer and a computer and explain everything..... although the stuff you bring in will speak for itself. Let them decide what should be done from there and what, if anything, he can be charged with. From there you change you phone numbers, tell your family members that he is no longer safe and to watch out for him, and tell your work that he is not to be told anything about you. You need to stop him, it WILL turn ugly and it WILL end up with you being harmed if you don't. He needs to learn that doing this is WRONG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchester3 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Even doing that much is fairly creepy IMO Girls keep diaries and write about stuff that happens right? Is that not similar, how about if i said "I wrote about our dates in my journal"? Is that creepy? Maybe your just easy to creep out? Look a spider! If she did the same i wouldn't view that as being creepy in any way. Creepy to me is the old guy with rotted/no teeth checking out all the ladies on the bus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Girls keep diaries and write about stuff that happens right? Is that not similar, how about if i said "I wrote about our dates in my journal"? Is that creepy? Maybe your just easy to creep out? Look a spider! If she did the same i wouldn't view that as being creepy in any way. Creepy to me is the old guy with rotted/no teeth checking out all the ladies on the bus. Yeah, but writing a diary about your SO's day and actions IS creepy. I agree with mythical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorbidMetalHead87 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I would call the police right now to be honest. And Dump him over the phone, dumping him over the phone is harsh But who cares!! he sounds dangerous don't risk your life by doing the so called right thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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