Galaxie Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 hello, when your run into your ex how do you act? should you be nice or should you just act like they don't even exist? the first time i ran into my ex it was only like a month after we broke up and i flipped him off and used a whole lot of profanity. after that ifelt like a complete and utter ass. i ran into him a few days ago again. this time we were face to face i just turned my head and looked the other way as he walked by. that time i wished i had talked with him. been a year since we broke up and i don't know why it bothers me so much. i'm happy that i didn't loose it this time though and i mange to somehow keep my cool. i don't know exactly what i'm wanting out of him but it must be something because he really gets under my skin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 When you bump into the ex just be civil! No matter whats happened give them a brief smile to show that your fine with anythings thats happened in the past and you dont care if they hurt you cos your alright now! If you swear or are horrible it shows they still get under your skin whcih is never good. Just be civil! Not nice or overly chatty. Just as civil as possible. This works for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 i say treat him like someone at work you barely know - say 'hi - how's it going?' smile and walk away. if you are trapped in an elevator, you can make small talk about your recent vacation or something, but don't stress. no worries. showing indifference hurts more than flipping them off. if you flip them off, they know you still care. in the past, i would avoid ex bfs, and i think maybe that wasn't the right thing to do, because then they know that you are still pissed off. if you see them, and act like they mean nothing - that has to show much more that you have moved on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stinking Rose Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 HE WHO ANGERS YOU CONTROL YOU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clementine orange Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 HE WHO ANGERS YOU CONTROL YOU. I second this statement. Very true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crippledsoul225 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 While I am one of those who believes in NC with an ex when you are trying to heal I don't believe that it means you have to be antisocial or rude. Yes if you happen to bump into your ex in public just smile say hi and ask about their health and then wish them a nice day and go on about your business. That entire conversation should be no more than 1-2 minutes. I recently ran into an ex of mine from 9 years ago at wal-mart. I was so shocked but I didn't let it show on my face. However I could tell she was surprised to see me. She said hi to me first because she saw me before I saw her. I smiled and said in a calm tone "Hi there. How are you doing?" Then she talked about how she works at her current job and such. I looked at my watch and said "yeah well I have to finish up my shopping here and go pick someone up at the airport. You take care of yourself." That conversation lasted about 75-80 seconds. The best thing to do is talk to them like you would an old high school classmate that you bumped into. Don't volunteer any information about yourself. Even if they ask questions keep the answers general. No specifics. Don't ask them anything other than how they are doing. Sure I could have just ignored her when she said hi but that would have made me look weak in her eyes. She would have thought "well how rude he can't even say hi." That would just show her that she still gets to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Why is everybody so AGAINST people being friendly with an ex, if and when you run into him or her. If they strike up a conversation with you (and things are settled and you don't have any ill feelings towards them), TALK TO THEM!!! There's nothing wrong with that. See how things are going with them, etc. Crippledsoul, did your ex of 9 years dump you??? Reason I ask is you didn't have to be so short with her. You could have had a friendly conversation with her. Nothing wrong with that, unless you hold some type of "grudge" against her still. If I ran into my ex right now, I'd chat with him and see how he was doing (he broke up with me over two years ago). Life is too short to be bitter about things long past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crippledsoul225 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Why is everybody so AGAINST people being friendly with an ex, if and when you run into him or her. If they strike up a conversation with you (and things are settled and you don't have any ill feelings towards them), TALK TO THEM!!! There's nothing wrong with that. See how things are going with them, etc. Crippledsoul, did your ex of 9 years dump you??? Reason I ask is you didn't have to be so short with her. You could have had a friendly conversation with her. Nothing wrong with that, unless you hold some type of "grudge" against her still. If I ran into my ex right now, I'd chat with him and see how he was doing (he broke up with me over two years ago). Life is too short to be bitter about things long past. Yes she was the dumper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
definitely_maybe Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 When you bump into the ex just be civil! No matter whats happened give them a brief smile to show that your fine with anythings thats happened in the past and you dont care if they hurt you cos your alright now! If you swear or are horrible it shows they still get under your skin whcih is never good. Just be civil! Not nice or overly chatty. Just as civil as possible. This works for me! The best thing to do is talk to them like you would an old high school classmate that you bumped into. I agree with the advice I quoted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightn Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Why is everybody so AGAINST people being friendly with an ex, if and when you run into him or her. If they strike up a conversation with you (and things are settled and you don't have any ill feelings towards them), TALK TO THEM!!! There's nothing wrong with that. See how things are going with them, etc. Crippledsoul, did your ex of 9 years dump you??? Reason I ask is you didn't have to be so short with her. You could have had a friendly conversation with her. Nothing wrong with that, unless you hold some type of "grudge" against her still. If I ran into my ex right now, I'd chat with him and see how he was doing (he broke up with me over two years ago). Life is too short to be bitter about things long past. I probably would have done the same thing but if she came up to me then I would be short, however if I saw here, I would not go up to her. Heck I agree with Cripplesoul, he cut is short and if she was the dumper what is the point have a long talk? Some people are different. At least cripplesoul made an attempt to talk instead of ignoring her. It shows a bigger person. True 9 years is a long time but she dumped him, it still hurts. I guess some people are different. Question was your ex wtih someone and would you still talk to him if his new girlfriend was there?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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