Did your ex go out with someone else straight away or dump you for someone else?

[samantha20]

Hey,

 

I've read a lot about people who have been dumped but haven't actually heard from many people whose exes either dumped them for someone else or went out with someone else straight away.

 

A brief history - me and my ex were in a secret gay relationship for 2 years, and we stupidly decided that if we kiss men in front of people we know, then it would stop rumours about us. Only the guy my ex kissed, immediately told her that he was glad she had kissed him because he has liked her for ages. He then dumped his girlfriend and my ex dumped me. My ex told me that she didn't dump me for him and didn't wanna be with him, but it was a big coincidence.

 

About a week later she told me that actually she DID have feelings for him. Then she changed her mind again and said that she didn't and that she wanted me back. So we got back together just before the xmas holidays. I went home for the holidays for about a month. A couple of days before xmas she told me that she wasn't sure about us, and then said actually I am , I do wanna be with you. I told her that I was scared she would dump me again and she swore that she wouldn't. She also told me that she had no feelings for that guy anymore and he was nothing to do with our problems.

 

She was very distant over xmas and finally dumped me over the phone on new year's eve when I kept pushing her about why she was being distant. She said that she just sees me as a friend now and isn't attracted to me as a girlfriend anymore. When she dumped me, she again said that it had nothing to do with this guy and that she didn't want to be with him. About a week later I finally got it out of her that they were now a couple, but she swore that they only became a couple a few days after she had broken up with me new year's eve and not before. People have told me though that at the beginning of the xmas holidays they were acting like a couple, but my ex says that they were just hanging out as friends and that people must have got the wrong idea.

 

Now I'm stuck in the same town as her, in my flat alone, whilst she is just accross town with her bf. They spend all their time together, and it kills me because for the last 2 years, me and my ex did EVERYTHING together, and now she has completely replaced me. He sleeps in her bed everynight, the bed we used to share. She has been texting me saying that I am her best friend and she wants to keep seeing me, but she only asks to see me when he's at work and spends the rest of her time with him. I don't wanna be 2nd best to him when me and her used to be inseperable. I'm stuck here for the next 4 months, and as she was my only real friend I'm very lonely and have nothing to take my mind off things. I still can't believe that I was so easily replaced when we were SO close. She doesn't miss me because she has him to do everything with that we used to do. I actually have nothing to get out of bed in the morning for.

 

Just wondered if any one is going through anything like this, and what is the best way to deal with seeing your ex find someone else so quickly? I'm thinking that staying friends will be impossible even though I miss her so much. I'm trying nc but it feels like I am cutting off my nose to spite my face, because in not keeping her as a friend, it's me that's left feeling lonely, whilst she has her boyfriend and doesn't need me. She probably won't miss me that much if I don't stay her friend. I found nc a lot easier before I knew she had a bf, cos I thought that she would be lonely too and start to miss me. If you've heard my story before I apologise, I tried to cut it down a bit. I'm just finding this so hard to deal with. She seems so happy with him and was even bragging to her friends on facebook about how great her new bf is. That made me so upset and I deleted her on facebook. What should I do?

[catwalk]

He didn't dump me for someone else....... but my (now ex) best friend went after him within a week, threw herself at him, and they were dating within about 3 weeks.

 

I was devastasted.

 

Delete her (for now), no contact, etc. She'll come around when her new boyfriend that she has on a pedistal comes crashing into reality. Hopefully she will apologise (at the very least) for hurting you like this.

[kadvati79]

I broke up with my boyfriend and started dating someone else, pretty much straight away. I felt awful but I had fallen in love with the new guy, whereas the two years I was with my ex I was never in love with him.

[sweetjess195]

my ex broke up with me right at the end of july and at the beginning of october he told me he was "together" with this one girl. I was absolutely heartbroken and even though he requested we remain friends i told him no. 3 days later he sent me many IMs about how he was making a huge mistake and needed me in his life. He later told me that this girl was just a "fun fling, hot girl with hot body, liked cars, etc" but he never inteneded a relationship out of it, just told her that to sleep with her. He didnt have to tell her anything to sleep with her. She jumped in bed with him the 3rd time they hung out.

[d1211]

mine already set up 2 dates with 2 different girls and we have barley been broken up for 20 days. we were together for 1yr. ughh

[SwEeTLiLGuRL]

I've been through this TWICE actually. The first time I was with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. He says he wants to split and a week later I find he is spending the night over this girls house, WHILE HE WAS STILL LIVING WITH ME...We were at the end of the lease which is why we stuck it out. But the nerve of him to move on that quickly! Was he seeing her on the sly why we were together? I won't even know, Sure I've asked him but he wouldn't fess up to it even if it was true. Honestly the relationship was over at that point, did it matter.

 

The second time this happened I never thought anyone could top my first ex. Oh my second ex proved that wrong! I was with him for about a year and a half, we also were living together. He decided that since his ex was moving back to the state he would help her move. He never answered his phone the whole time he was there, and was gone all day. When he got home I told him we should probably get some space from eachother, like a week or so. That Friday morning I stopped by our house to drop off his laptop because I was going to my parents for the weekend which was out of town. And HER car was there. Oh but it was innocent according to him....I was done with it then and there. The following weekend when I went to get my things she had already moved her stuff into OUR place! Yeah innocent...SURE..

 

Believe it or not it has been 3 1/2 years since my breakup with my first ex and 7 months since the last one. Both of these guys are still with the girl they went to right after me. Both of these guys also cheated on their girlfriends with me. Both guys are still very much in contact with me but not for cheating purposes. Honestly though you have to get over the hurt and anger before you can get to that point. I can wholeheartedly say that I am over my first ex, and I never am looking back that way. We grew apart, we want different things, and I only know that now because I can look at him and say "this was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? WHY?" With the second ex it's not as easy, he took a lot of my self esteem away when we split. We are great together, but we are not at that point in our lives where we should be together. Will it ever happen? No, honestly I don't think it will, mainly because I won't let it. How could I ever give myself back to someone that betrayed so bad the first time?

 

Honestly it's hard to see your ex with someone because they seem SO happy, while you are so miserable. But take comfort in knowing that while you are healing properly, they needed someone there to fill the void you left behind. Don't get me wrong, lasting relationships can come from rebound relationships, but it's rare. I would say best advice is to not see her again, even as a friend, for a little while at least. No sense in putting her new relationship all in your face like that. Hang out with other friends, preferably not mutual ones if you guys have any. If you were so involved with the relationship you've neglected friends, then go out and enjoy hobbies that you used to pre-relationship, hang around family, or take up a new hobby or part time job that will get you meeting new people. Just don't sit around by yourself. It gives you too much time to sit there and just think, and dwell on the past. And trust me it may not seem like it now, but you'll get through it. We all do, somehow...

 

Good luck

[EQD]

yeah i broke up with my ex and 2 weeks later his status changed to "in a relationship"

.. and he is absolutely miserable and has been for the past year cheating on her with every girl he can set his hands on.

Just goes to show...

[samantha20]

thanks guys that's really helpful. It's just so hard to take because I trusted this woman with my life and I can't believe she replaced me so quickly. If she had slept with or went on a date with someone else straight after it wouldn't hurt so much, it's just the fact that she was actually going out with this guy just after we broke up (or maybe before) and is already really serious with him. We only broke up new year's eve! And now this guy is at hers ALL the time and stays there every night. How can she move on to something so serious so quickly? She has told her mum and all her friends about him.. it just makes me so sad because we were together for like 2 years and the whole time she wouldn't let me tell anyone. It was like she was ashamed of me. I knew that she would never tell her family. And now she just wants to act like our relationship never happened! I know it's meant to get easier but it's not I can't get over the way I was replaced. Do you think her relationship with him is just a rebound? I don't know if it's cus I'm stuck in the same town as her but I can't stop thinking about them together. I also have to work with her new bf!! tonight!!! I hope I keep it together.. I think I'm just gonna not talk to him..

[kadvati79]

Are they a rebound?

 

It really depends... Broadly speaking I see two situations:

 

1. The breakup happened before it happened. Its quite possible that while the breakup is a recent development for you, your ex may have in effect emotionally broken up with you a long time ago and just needed the guts to be able to do it. In this situation, the "in love" may well have ended for them well before the breakup, so it means they come out of the breakup with a sense of relief and also "ready" for a new relationship. Sometimes (I have found this personally), its the realization that you can have strong feelings with someone else that you have never had with your partner that precipitates a breakup in an otherwise amicable relationship.

 

2. They can't stand to be alone. This is what people call a rebound. To heal themselves from the pain of the last relationship, or too hide from their fear of being alone, they jump straight into a new relationship. This might be easy for a start but it usually gets really tough after about three months. It doesn't always end in tears, sometimes they are a good match and they happen to be able to weather the problems. But there are certainly big problems emotionally when it comes to this kind of relationship.

 

How can they do that too me?

 

Well, ultimately everyone has too look after their own happiness. If they weren't happy with you, and are happier with someone else, then theres nothing you (or them) can really do. Nobody should stay with someone out of "respect", and nobody should pass up meeting the love of their life out of "respect" to their ex - and that includes you. So I don't think, in the majority of cases, an ex is doing it to hurt you, I think its more about looking after their own happiness.

 

So what can you do?

 

Take each day one step at a time, it gets better. Its tough but nobody said having a love life was going to be easy. Some days will be worse than others. Be easy on yourself. Try to think about your situation in the third person, i.e. what advice would you give to a friend if they were in your situation?

 

Above all else, get out there and try new things!

[JeckyllNHyde]

Good post Ice moto!

 

Me. Well, been in 2 relationships.

-Once I got dumped and he dated RIGHT AWAY.. and I do mean right away! He kissed the girl already 3 days after we broke up and they were dating.

-I dumped my second bf and remained single about 1 week lol. It hurt that I had dumped him (b/c we just weren't a good match) but as soon as I went on that first date wow.. Out went all the tears. Oh and he also dated the next day I think and tried to move on a.s.a.p.

[samantha20]

I think she had left the relationship emotionally before we broke up it was the third time she dumped me in 2 months, so she had probably stopped having feelings for me the first time she dumped me and it was her kissing this guy that started it I think. I guess that doesn't make him a rebound So now she keeps asking me to be her best friend and go for lunch with her and stuff, but the thought of her rolling out of bed with him to come and meet me is to much..she doesn't seem to get that though, she thinks that I'm ruining our friendship for no reason by not seeing her. She text me saying why does it have to be all or nothing? Why can't we just be best friends? Sometimes I think that would be better than losing her completely but as soon as I think of her being with her bf I can't handle it. He gets to have all the intimate stuff with her and I get a quick chat and a cup of coffee, after me and her spent nearly every minute of the past 2 years together. Has anyone managed to get used to being their ex's friend straight after being dumped when their ex is with someone else? Or is it just impossible? I don't see how it can work because I can't control my jealousy and hurt. If I saw her I would probably just demand to know stuff that I don't want to hear about her relationship with him and then get all angry and bitter. I Just miss her so much though.. would nc make an ex miss u less if they were with someone else? Does being with someone else completely take their mind off you? I like to think that there was unique stuff about our relationship that he cant replace..

[kadvati79]

You sound like a cool dude mate, I think you're doing much better than you might realize and while its painful now, I think in a few months you'll be totally fine and ready to fall in love with a smokin chick!

 

She text me saying why does it have to be all or nothing? Why can't we just be best friends?

You can, but not yet. Give it time, and you'll be fine.

 

Has anyone managed to get used to being their ex's friend straight after being dumped when their ex is with someone else? Or is it just impossible?

Its not impossible. It just really HURTS. Once you're not attracted to her (emotionally and physically), then you're ready to be friends.

 

would nc make an ex miss u less if they were with someone else?

NC doesn't really make anyone miss you more. Its not a tactic that works at getting someone back. It does force people to realize the gravity of the situation if their breakup wasn't well thought through. NC is about you healing and the future hope that you might be able to get a good friendship, once your head is screwed back on and your heart is repaired.

 

Does being with someone else completely take their mind off you?

No. But her thoughts about you are different now. Not less, just different. You were someone special from her past.

 

I like to think that there was unique stuff about our relationship that he cant replace..

He will never replace you. She will never think like that. You were someone special from her past and always will be. She is now your past. The next six months are about you realizing she was your past, and morning that, and understanding that your future will be something else.

[kimmie11479]

My ex tried but she didn't want to be with him in that way. in fact that's why we broke up in the first place. I could feel that he still had feelings for her or was curious if anything would have ever came of it. So i walked away, only to have regret the next day and asked him back. Well that didn't really work out, he persued her, she didn't want him and I regret the whole thing. Maybe it was a blessing knowing that he was able to move on so quickly, I might be better off.

[oldspice4me]

Sorry for the long story, but I feel like this is a good time and a good thread to get it off of my chest.

 

 

Yes, this happened to me. I was home for thanksgiving break and things werent going too badly. We recently started having little arguments which afterwards realized were about nothing. Nothing serious. So two days after I get back to school, which is almost two hours away, she called and basically told me in the nicest way possible that we shouldnt be together anymore. She wouldnt give me a good reason at all. She said only that her feelings had changed, she loved me but wasnt in love with me, and that she just wanted to be friends. I asked her if it was because of the distance with college or even because she met another person. She replied no to both. I couldnt understand this and we talked about it. We agreed that we will just give a little time and give some space.

 

I was at college for three weeks after she had told me. I told her I couldnt talk to her because I was so hurt and knew I would only want to talk about possibly getting back together. After not responding to her for a little over a week, I decided I would be able to start with some small talk. Everything seemed to be going fine. We were friends, but I knew I still wanted more (stupid me).

So after three weeks I got home. We decided to hang out together. I made some advances on her and she seemed uncomfortable. She told me she wasnt ready for any of that again yet.(since we were just friends) So we were fine. The next time we hung out, we were both starting to get intimate. She first told me that she had to say something. She said that she had kissed another person while we were apart. I told her that was fine and all was good.

 

I decided to ask a few questions later and I felt she hadnt answered them truthfully. Every time she only told half of the story, but eventually telling the whole story. They were actually seeing each other and that was part of the reason why she waned to split. She told me how big a mistake she had made and she really wanted to be with me. So, I was okay with it.

 

She never ended it with the other person though. So, she had the chance to to it in school, and a few days to even call him. She decides she would invite him over and tell him. I ended up calling her that night and she tells me she is watching a movie with him. I dont even know this guy. I was angry/hurt. I told her that I wasnt comfortable with the situation before it even happened. I ended up going over to her house and confronting them. They said it was just as friends and they were just talking. She told me she realized why I felt the way I did and was sorry.

 

Long story short, I was hearing from many people that they seemed too close at school. I told her I didnt like it and its obvious he still has feelings for you. It would be best for everyone if you werent friends anymore. I know its a little controlling, but I have never told her to do anything else. She did tell him a few different times. After every time though, they were still talking like nothing had happened. After a big "last time" between the three of us (i never touched anybody), a few more promises, and a few more lies she finally tells me she doesnt have the same feelings for me.

 

I was devastated. She eventually told me she still had some feelings still for him, which I sort of suspected during this whole shirade. She also told me that she felt a little pressured into getting back together. I admit to that part, although I didnt force her I just thought her feelings came back. I realize I shouldnt have tried to make the advances.

 

Despite all of this, I still love her to death. I dont know what is wrong with me. This is the only thing she has been close to being dishonest about. Yet she is still young, 17, I thought we had something. I told her the day all this last talk happened, which was two days ago, that if she left me today I wouldnt ever take her back. I asked if she agreed with that and she couldnt do it. She has always told me and told me then that she always saw us together in the future. This breaks my heart. I know I have to get over her. I know she wants to see other things out there. I know all of that. It just kills me that if she does end up coming back some point in the future and I do not have feeling for her anymore... I dont know what to think about it.

 

Thanks for reading this if you did.

[Iarra]

Yep. My ex dumped me for someone else. He still hasn't admitted it (probably never will), but it was so obvious I still don't know what was the point of hiding it.

 

I work with him. I pretty much see him every day, and he has brought the new girl to work about 3 times now. The first time he brought her to work, it had only been a month since we broke up. Yeah, it was a slap in the face. It hurt more than the breakup to see him discard me so easily, like I didn't matter at all. I would've understood if I ever treated him badly, but I didn't, even after the breakup. I was nothing but good to him. I felt like he didn't respect what we had.

 

It took me a while to get my self-confidence back, but I did start to see my worth, and that I didn't deserve that. I was willing to be friends with him before, but friends don't treat each other that way, do they?

 

I'm doing ok. I occasionally still get annoyed whenever I hear his voice at work. My thoughts still go "You're such a liar" hehe. But other than that, I think I'm recovering pretty well.

 

Yes, you miss her and that's normal. But when you realize that you're a great person (as in really truly believe it), you won't want to settle with whatever she's giving you.

 

she doesn't seem to get that though, she thinks that I'm ruining our friendship for no reason by not seeing her.

 

Umm... Dumping you is a pretty good reason for your friendship to be ruined, don't you think? What about YOUR needs? You can't handle it (which is understandable), and it's YOUR fault that your friendship is ruined? Wow. If she really is looking after you like a friend, she would understand that you need this right now.

[DayHell]

so many stories i can relate too! it's almost sad in a way that this is such a common occurrence.

 

anyways, after 3 years my ex told me she wanted to 'be single' and proceeded to hook up with guys every weekend for the next month. after that she met some dude 8 years older than her and they've been going out for about 2 months now... definetly makes it tough.

 

i guess after it all ended and i realised we weren't going to get back together i just wanted some sort of indication from her that she was hurting too and that she missed what we had and was still maybe thinking about me occasionally. but when i suggested NC she didn't even blink just said OK and went out and got this new guy who she now seems really into.

 

definetly not the best situation for healing but i guess it's out of my control. i just really hope they break up

[samantha20]

I can relate to you so much. My ex still claims that she didn't dump me for him, and that she didn't have feelings for him until we broke up. But if you read my story you can see that he's been involved ever since she kissed him that night and it was that stupid act that ruined everything. she used the whole excuse that she only liked him as a friend too, then she does out with him and says that she wasn't lying, she DID only see him as a friend, but a few days after we broke up started to see him as more. I think that's bull to be honest, I really think that she wouldn't have dumped me if he hadn't been on the scene telling her he wanted her.

 

I tried to get over my ex by going on a 'date' tonight. A few days ago this guy asks me on what I thought was a date. I was dating him a couple of years ago but then he left town but comes back to visit every now and again. But I hadn't really seen him since I started going out with my ex. So this guy tells me on facebook that he's back in town. He said 'hey gorgeous how are you? im gonna pop back to town on thurday or friday this week. ive got three weeks off then im moving again. so do you fancy meeting up for some food or a drink? xxx' Is it just me or does that sound like a date??

 

So I text him the night before, saying are we still meeting up tomorrow? And he was like yeah, I'll text you when I get to town. About 9pm I still hadn't heard from him, so I text him saying 'are you in town?' and he says 'yeah, I'm drinking in the inn with my mate'. so I was like 'are u gonna come meet me?' and he didn't reply! So I walk to the inn thinking that his mate is just keeping him company till our date starts. Then I get there and he's not in there! So I say 'i'm in the inn..can't see u' and he replies that he's gone to some night club with his mates!! And I was like 'are u gonna meet me?' and he said come to this night club if u wanna see me.

 

I thought it was really rude! This night club charges like £6 to get in, and I wasn't gonna go chasing him round town whilst he was out with a group of mates! He led me to believe it was a date..or did I just misunderstand?? I'm back home now feeling really stupid.

 

To make things worse I broke nc with my ex cos I was upset. It was the worst thing I could have done because she was so cold and she got to know that my date didn't happen. I started going into all these questions about why she dumped me, and saying things like how could you just replace me with your new boyfriend?? etc. And she was so unfeeling and was just like 'I'm not gonna keep going over this, my feelings changed, I'm sorry, there's nothing else I can say. If you wanna be friends I'm happy to do that.' And I said that in being friends with her I feel second best to her new bf because she spends most of her time with him, and she was just like 'well it's up to you' she didn't sound like she gave a damn either way.

 

I was so hurt that she could just disregard me like that. I was like 'your like a different person! we were so close and now you're talking to me like an aqaintance! She was so matter of fact and formal in the way that she spoke to me. I said how would you feel if I had dumped you and cheated on you and lied to you?? and she was just like 'I don't know' in a bored kinda voice, like I was inconveniencing her with my pain. Then she was like 'look, I'm going to bed now, I'm tired.' I swore at her and she hung up on me. It hurts that 2 weeks ago she was saying she loved me and now I'm completely irrelevent to her and she has replaced me. I shouldn't have broke nc, I just felt so stupid and rejected by my 'date' and sought comfort from someone that used to make me feel special, only to be rejected again.

 

I won't talk to her again now. Just so hurt at how easily I've come to mean nothing to her. I feel so lonely and rejected now. Can't believe I spent so long getting ready for a guy to treat me like that! Was I right to think that it was meant to be a date? Has anyone else been able to date straight away? Or is it hard to want anyone else when you're still in love with your ex? It's so unfair that my ex is so happy..

[DayHell]

i know exactly how you feel. when i saw my ex wih her new bf we got in a bit of a fight on the phone and she acted very similar to how your ex did. she was very matter of fact, no compassion in her voice at all, she wasn't bothered at all that our friendship was being thrown out the window and she couldn't understand at all why i was hurt. it crushed me that she said she never wanted to leave me and a month later she had no regard for our relationship or my feelings at all. i was so puzzled to how something that (i thought) meant so much to both of us could just be thrown away by her so easily??

 

and now she's still with that guy, they've been together for 2 or 3 months and thats how long i haven't made contact with her for. it sucks that she's so happy after she treated me like dirt, and i was the one left hurt. and it also sucks that i put so much effort into a relationship with her that burnt to the ground cause she changed in the space of a week or two. it got to the stage where i was saying to myself, i never ever would've begun this relationship if i knew this is how it was going to end...

 

at the end of the day i just told myself to get through it. i told myself that if this is how she can act she obviously wasn't into it as much as i was, and i'm glad i know how she really is cause there's no way i'd want to spend the rest of my life with her now! love's not love when only one's in love you know. so i told myself it was good while it lasted, i got to experience some great things with her, but now she's changed and i can see her for who she really is and i'm glad it's over! it sucks she moved on so quickly, but although it really hurts i guess it allowed me to move on quicker.

 

i haven't been able to date since we broke up in november, but that's more because i decided to try and make myself happy while being single, rather than filling the void with another relationship. i feel i'm getting to that stage now, and am genuinely happy being single. kind of weird cause about the same time i realised i was happily single i was getting alot of interest from girls when i went out with mates...

 

 

and sorry for the novel haha. anyways you'll get over the relationship eventually, try looking forward to your next partner, one who'd never treat you like your ex has!

[deebee]

Yep, me too. She dumped me, supposedly to spend time on her own sorting her life out, which I had to respect even if it hurt like hell to lose her. (She had just separated from her husband). Only I find out later that she started to see someone else at the time of the break up. Of course, she has never told me this in person, although has admitted to being 'ashamed' of her behaviour and a coward for not telling me. I was obviously a rebound relationship for her, and I am certain that this new boyfriend is too. None of my business anymore though. What makes things worse is that we have to see each other at work, which is a bit of a nightmare. Still, it could have been worse and I am dealing with it and moving on.

[samantha20]

I know how it feels to really want your ex to break up with their new partner. Someone else on this site said to me that if I try to stay friends with my ex it will cause tension between her and her new bf. Isn't this a good thing for me? I know it's wrong but i WANT them to have tension in their relationship and to piss her new bf off. Why would I want to make their relationship easier? Still, not doing nc is painful because I still have their relationship in my face..

[lost1234]

Hey deebee,

 

Your situation sounds almost the same as mine. Timing and circumstances are a little different though. She said she had to work on herself. Two weeks later her ex who broke her heart came back and wanted her back. She's back with him now.

[Moto]

I aswell, have been dumped for someone else. Three years out the window for a "hunch" she had. She denied it at first and what have you, but now it's all worked out for the best... For me.

 

Her however... She's pregnant with the new guys kid, living back at home with her parents (him too), and she quit her good job, and works part time at a coffee place now. I just shake my head and laugh, so happy I'm not a part of her life, or her family's life anymore.

 

No matter what happens, it works out for the better, and you have to remember that. Even if you're as lonely as I am, it's better than being with the other person, after doing such a horrible thing to you.

[Umlunguusa]

My ex (who was 17) ended up going out with a girl who was 35, with a child...disgusting. I became really angry, because she started calling herself lez...when she had sex with guys all the time. I hope she gets cheated on, or an STD or something.

[Johnathan]

she was seeing him off and on the whole time.

 

The most serious relationship of my life was with a girl who was never 100% committed to me.

[Takotsubo]

Mine left me for someone else specifically. He told me in an email and we never spoke again.

 

IMO, leaving someone for someone else is the ultimate blow. It's like they are saying "hey, I want a relationship, just not with you". It sucks but there is nothing you can do about it but move on.

 

Unfortunately (I hate playing devil's advocate) it takes a new person to make someone realize that their current relationship isn't working out.

 

I would say the majority of the time people will break up to be with someone else. That new person comes along and ignites a fire that is novel to all new relationships. This feeling is more than enough to send people running, questioning what is and what isn't, what's true and what's not, etc. Falling in lust/love does that to people. Sometimes the new person is really better for them.

 

Either way, to be the one dumped for someone else is a very low feeling and I empathize with everyone who's had that happen to them because it's happened to me. The ex's will usually have some sort of guilt and lie about not being with someone just to try to save their own conscience under the guise that it's being said to help you heal. Whatever.

 

Then they become cold because they now have someone else to rely on while you have nothing. They whole "friends" thing is simply a fascade because they want to have their cake and eat it, too. It's part of breaking off a deal in business and people do it everyday when they have multiple job offers. You can't expect a relationship to be any different. However, once their new relationship begins to solidify, imagine how you would feel if your current SO was friends with their ex. It could make you a little bit uncomfortable, so then this fascade of being "friends" comes to an end. This is the type of behavior that shows someone's true intentions with you.

 

Ah, c'est la vie. Love is the greatest feeling on earth, so appropriately, the crash back to earth is equally as painful. Be grateful you felt it. Not everybody gets that opportunity.