charisma Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I've just turned 28 recently and I'm soooo afraid of turning 30. I grew up in a household where everyone always lied about their ages. My dad always likes to tell people he's 39 but that's the year he was born in. I take offense when my mother tells people how old I am because of the reaction I get. My aunt told people at Christmas dinner that I was 24 (she probably lost track over the years) and everyone corrected her and my other aunt said that she only wishes. I really do wish I was just 24. I keep thinking I'm running out of time to meet a great guy, get married, work on my career, travel, have kids etc... Does anyone else out there have fears about turning 30, 40 etc... or am I just being silly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stinkweed Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I'm only 20, and terrified already... I honestly don't know what life will be like, what changes I will be forced to make, what changes, if any, will "just happen." It sucks so bad to grow up/old... It doesn't help that people think I'm much older than I really am, so they think I'm some sort of immature loser... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shikashika Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I'm 30 and loving it... 30 is so much more fun than being in your twenties!! no offence to your family, but anyone who lies about their age is just insecure. So what if you are 31 or 42 or 66? One thing I CAN'T STAND is when people are ashamed of their age.. WHY? People go bungee jumping when they are 80. I really don't get it, Anyway... have fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPlanet Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 HHMMM I don't think 28 is by any means old but I don't think you're a spring chicken either. You're young to truly old people, but old to the very young I'd say to someone under 21, you're old. To someone under 25 you're older but still part of the young crowd. To someone over 25 you're just normal. I don't really see much of an advantage to being in your early 20's other than they fact that you look a little bit more sexy and and can hang around with other not so interesting early 20 year olds. Early 20's really I can't see a reason to envy it at all... sorry to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel_baby Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I have them fears already. I will be turning 23 in 9 days. It feels like time goes by to fast but what you really have to look at it as is that you will do all these things when YOU feel ready. Only then is the time ever right. Age is just a number Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stinkweed Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 HHMMM I don't think 28 is by any means old but I don't think you're a spring chicken either. You're young to truly old people, but old to the very young I'd say to someone under 21, you're old. To someone under 25 you're older but still part of the young crowd. To someone over 25 you're just normal. The people I used to hang out with the most were 26, 27, 29 and 30. I didn't think they were old, because to me they're just fine... They don't act old, so they're not old. But me... I wouldnt want to be their age, not for a long time, because I know that when I am, I'll act old, even if it's just because I'll be forcing myself to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazer Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 i turned 28 not too long ago. i look at pictures from my early twenties and i can see that i am aging, but i think i just look less like a girl and more like a woman. and not an overly mature one. my insecurity stems from not being as financially stable as one might expect someone my age to be. i just graduated from college in May! but i worked and i traveled a lot in my early twenties so i don't really regret putting my education on hold. no matter what choices you make, now or in the future, you're always going to confront change...so there's really lots of time to make decisions and chart your course. it's all up in the air. i would advise you to find your passion and try to focus on living it. that could be a hobby or a career pursuit, building a family...whatever makes you happy. i just want my life to have meaning...i don't want to live up to any of society's expectations about what women my age should and should not be doing. i do what i want and i love what i do. who cares how old you are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlondGuy Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I've just turned 28 recently and I'm soooo afraid of turning 30. I grew up in a household where everyone always lied about their ages. My dad always likes to tell people he's 39 but that's the year he was born in. I take offense when my mother tells people how old I am because of the reaction I get. My aunt told people at Christmas dinner that I was 24 (she probably lost track over the years) and everyone corrected her and my other aunt said that she only wishes. I really do wish I was just 24. I keep thinking I'm running out of time to meet a great guy, get married, work on my career, travel, have kids etc... Does anyone else out there have fears about turning 30, 40 etc... or am I just being silly? why are you afraid? at least you havent had your life ruined like i have and im 35 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I was never really that hung up on age, and I think it's total bull that anyone is better-looking/sexier, etc., solely based on age. I see sixteen-year-olds that look forty already, and I see thirty-year-olds still getting carded for alcohol. That being said, when I was about to turn thirty, I didn't really care too much. Any feelings I had about it went straight out the window- my b-day is Sept. 12, and the year I turned thirty was 2001, so my b-day fell 24 hours after Sept. 11. So that year, I got a really good gift for my birthday: perspective! I hope that you get some perspective this year, too. Thirty is great. And you also have two years to get used to the idea. Live in the present and stop fearing the future. You could step out in front of a bus tomorrow, might as well enjoy yourself now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Turning 40 was a little easier than 30 because in that decade I came into my own even more, felt more confident, felt more fulfilled from the friendships I had and developed. 30 was fun too because I was thrown a surprise party (my first ever) by my then bf and it was perfect. One of my closest friends died at age 34. She met her husband at age 30 and got sick at age 32. If at 28 years old she had wasted her time worrying about getting old that would have been a high percentage of the time she had left to live, right? It's easier said than done not to measure your accomplishments by what others are doing, as if it's some sort of race to get married, buy a house, etc. Some of those people or maybe many will be racing to divorce court while you are racing to the mortgage broker to get a mortgage on your first new house, affordable because you don't have to pay a lawyer for a divorce. Some of those people may have an enviable life - enviable to you - the lovely house, husband, child, dog, whatever. And some will get cancer. That is why comparing is a waste of time. What I would do instead, set up goals in baby steps so that you can feel accomplished and not have some long term goal that seems unreachable. If I wanted to meet someone and I was 28 I might set goals like "I will put up a good profile on a dating site within 2 weeks. This week I will ask at least 3 people if they know someone to introduce me too. By next month I will attend at least one singles event, stay at least one hour and talk to at least three people. Within three months I will find a place to do volunteer work." Etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stella74 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 What I would do instead, set up goals in baby steps so that you can feel accomplished and not have some long term goal that seems unreachable. If I wanted to meet someone and I was 28 I might set goals like "I will put up a good profile on a dating site within 2 weeks. This week I will ask at least 3 people if they know someone to introduce me too. By next month I will attend at least one singles event, stay at least one hour and talk to at least three people. Within three months I will find a place to do volunteer work." Wow, that's really good advice Batya. As someone over 40 too, I have to say that I love being older. I feel grateful to be alive and cherish each day I have. When I was 18, I was in coma for a short period and almost died. So I learned to live each day as if it was my last. But it's good to have short and long terms goals. You never know what you might accomplish as you get older! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 When one worries about aging too much, it is usually because you are not happy with your current state or what you expect to have accomplished by that age. And fears that age will restrict you from accomplishing what you want. But age per se (turning 30) doesn't stop you from doing anything, YOU stop you from doing things. So your focus should shift from giving age milestones more significance than they really have, and shifting to accomplishing REAL milestones that get you where you want to go. If you are actively involved in your life and happy with it, taking control of doing things to bring about both the present and future you want for yourself, you won't even NOTICE age. One characteristic of happy people is that they frequently FORGET how old they are, because they aren't focusing on age as a determiner of anything in their lives. they are off doing whatever they want to do and not thinking about their age. they make their own lives, rules, happiness, and don't let that be dictated by a number. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charisma Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Yikes CaptainPlanet ..... "You're young to truly old people, but old to the very young I'd say to someone under 21, you're old. To someone under 25 you're older but still part of the young crowd. To someone over 25 you're just normal." So what you're saying is that anyone in their 20s is old? Thanks to the others for the great advice. At least there's something to look forward to when I hit 30 and 40. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Welcome to the 28 club. Lots of us actually running around this board. Here's the sum of what I've seen from threads like this: Yes, a lot of people have these fears. At least from time to time (especially on off times, as has been mentioned!). Yes, it is silly to dwell on it in the big scheme of things. And the big thing....dum dum dum....action is the best medicine for this ailment. Start doing those things you want to do. I think people get lazy...and procrastinate (i'll do next year, tomorrow, whenever, got looottts of time) but the truth is we are mortal. We don't know what is going to happen or how much time we really have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dapar321 Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 "Its not the amount of years in your life that matter; but the life in your years" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pappers Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 yikes, i'm 26..... I think people underestimate the significance of this birthday year. You have now entered the latter half of your 20s! You are no longer a spring chicken, and you probably notice a lot of your friends are getting engaged.... But, when we're 60, it will be a pleasure to reminisce the days of our 26th year - so don't worry bout age. make the best of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stella74 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 But, when we're 60, it will be a pleasure to reminisce the days of our 26th year For you spring chickens out there - here's a good exercise: Picture yourself at 60. Picture yourself happy and looking back upon your life. What would the 60 year old you tell the younger you to do now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natty7 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 For you spring chickens out there - here's a good exercise: Picture yourself at 60. Picture yourself happy and looking back upon your life. What would the 60 year old you tell the younger you to do now? Plan more for retirement??? LoL j/k I really don't know personally and hope others will put their thoughts down.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 It's perfectly normal to fear old age. There is nothing fun about it. But you can still HAVE fun. I look at the obituaries from my hometown and cringe when I see it's someone my age. That is scary. So I'd say that you are absolutely normal. Keep very busy. That helps. I remember when I was young I thought my grandmother was a morbid freak. She would open the newspaper each morning and tell me, "Let's see if I died today." Now I understand. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Last night my dad was visiting and telling me a story about his mom when she was in the nursing home after several strokes. This was many years ago. She was lying in bed, looked down and yelled in horror. She thought her hand was a rat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PixelPusher Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Age is perceived. If you think a certain age "is old" then mentally you've defeated yourself by the time you get there. What is the average age most people die in this day and age? It's probably well into the 70s. So those of you who think you're "old" at 25... you've lived a QUARTER of your life. Me... I've never been scared of age. I'm 34 right now and most people think I'm in my mid 20s not just because of the way I look but because of how I carry myself. I don't let my physical age defeat me. I'm in better shape mentally, emotionally and physically than I ever was when I was younger. So just keep that in mind: If you THINK you're old, you are... no matter what your age is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stella74 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 So just keep that in mind: If you THINK you're old, you are... no matter what your age is. So simple and so true! I rarely think of my age because my mother was never age conscious. I'm very youthful, enjoy my life, and often get mistaken for someone in their 30s. Nonetheless, sometimes I wake up and feel like I'm 80. And on those days, I am old. Funny how that works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2007 Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 HHMMM I don't think 28 is by any means old but I don't think you're a spring chicken either. You're young to truly old people, but old to the very young I'd say to someone under 21, you're old. To someone under 25 you're older but still part of the young crowd. To someone over 25 you're just normal. I don't really see much of an advantage to being in your early 20's other than they fact that you look a little bit more sexy and and can hang around with other not so interesting early 20 year olds. Early 20's really I can't see a reason to envy it at all... sorry to say. well Im 30, and by the time i will turn 31, I will be sexier looking then when i was 21, i have committed to this entire year to get in shape and im already almost where i want to be in 6 months. But I also think its more about what is happening in your life that will make it good or bad. Im going through some drama at 30, but i feel much more confident in most parts of my life than i did at 24. other than money i feel i can do anything. I wouldnt go back to 24 for anything and im looking forward to the future. whether im with someone or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I was afraid for awhile...being 29 I thought wow I'm getting old!!! Just feeling more tired and not having the time like I used to does get to you sometimes. I really envy young people & thinking how much freedom have LOL. Yet when I look back it feels like I'm finally growing up and learning new things. At the same time it's exciting to think how we'll be taking our daughter to the park, seeing her enter first grade and I'm sure by then we'll have couple more kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Gilrfriend I hope you can pull this together becasue we all will be 30, 40, 50, 60, .... you get the picture. Those who have a real hard time dealing with it will lose their mind once they hit 50. And no matter how young we are, we are all going to be that age so its best to embrace it and not look at people in an "old" way because you will be their age too. Unless the unthinkable happens. It seems so far off but it hits ya much quicker than ya think. I have loved every age i have ever been - past 22 that is. i was a late bloomer so getting older worked in my favor I think. I hated being a teenager with a passion and didn't even come into my own until about 28. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.