thouse Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I want my ex to wonder, long, miss, and suffer for me just the way I did for him. Just not sure how to make that happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAB1234 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I want my ex to wonder, long, miss, and suffer for me just the way I did for him. Just not sure how to make that happen. It's not mean but if you carry on thinking what he's doing and whether he's suffering then that means it'll take YOU longer to move on. That means HE still has a hold over you, so at the end of the day you're the one losing out. You need to get to a stage where you stop caring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom_duley Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Don't waste your time with revenge. Just move on. Probably all you can do is look desperate and vindictive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coach Jimmy Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Not mean if he broke your heart. To do it...well look at the movies (I don't know which ones but I've seen them haha) where the girl/ guy gets dumped and transforms into a model and dates models. That makes the party all jealous. You start reeling him in and then break his heart. Maybe I've seen too many movies though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom_duley Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 If you are going to do anything special, do it for yourself not your ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine75 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Lol! I've been there. The best way to do that is to be happy and act nice to them. You don't have to go out of your way or do anything special. Just be happy in your own life, move on, and be nice and friendly to them when you see or talk to them. If he had any feelings for you, this will make him wonder where you 2 went wrong. It will also only remind him of the good times you had and make him forget the bad. Also, if you talk to mutual friends and acquaintances, only say nice things about him. Talk about how smart he was, what a great guy, etc. It will get back to him. Don't make any mention of getting back together or leading him on. Just say that you think/hope that you're friends now... And leave it at that. Or say that you parted amicably, and say it with a smile. All of this will do 3 things - 1)Make him think positively of you and probably miss you 2)Make you look like the bigger, better person 3)Help you to truly move on and be happy whether he's longing & suffering for you or not. Hope that helps. P.S. Forgot to add - DON'T CONTACT HIM! Don't call him to see how he's doing, don't agree to be friends and hang out with him, if he calls answer if you feel like it, don't answer if you don't. Always be friendly and sweet but don't actually be available. You're not together so you don't need to see him, spend time with him, or be available. But there's nothing wrong with being nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana0120 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 It's natural to want to do that, but don't. Take the higher ground. Best thing to do is treat him as if he doesn't matter at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love4life Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 TAB is right. I spent a couple months after my last encounter with the ex feeling that way. Then I realized that I have no way of knowing if, by NC, he WAS missing me. For all I knew, he'd forgotten my name (okay, that's an exaggeration, but you get the drift). Once I finally let go of that desire to hurt him, I started to miss him again and, while difficult to cope with those feelings again, I think it's helped me to move on. I now recognize mistakes we both made and have accepted those mistakes. Coming to that realization was what made me start to consider breaking NC. But now I'm sticking with NC for me. I've realized that by holding on to him in any way (good or bad), I'm putting control of my life in his hands (although he didn't know that), and what good would that do me? Now that I finally feel I'm letting go, I feel much more empowered and energized to re-establish my individuality and my long-term goals. And believe me, it feels better than wanting revenge does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom_duley Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 What does NC stand for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love4life Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 NC=No Contact, LC=Limited/low/light contact Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 See I would know because we see each other all the time. He is a friend of the family so he is always around. Also he still contacts me and he tells me he still has feelings for me but who really knows. I know it's bad but I really just want to stick it to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samross Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 thouse Pride is something that most men struggle with. If he sees you with someone else and sees that you're happy, you can't ask for better revenge than that. You won't have done anything mean to him, or said anything mean to him. You will be doing better and showing him HE'S not #1 in your life. If he's like most men it will come accross like a kick in the you-know-where. Trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 See I would know because we see each other all the time. He is a friend of the family so he is always around. Also he still contacts me and he tells me he still has feelings for me but who really knows. I know it's bad but I really just want to stick it to him. thouse, you have to let this go. In a previous thread you said you had slept with him and felt nothing...you just went along with it because he wanted it and you were happy that you felt nothing. I had suspected that you were only kidding yourself and here it is...if you felt nothing for him you wouldn't want revenge, you would just be moving on with your life. You are still hurting, that is natural...but looking for ways to stick it to him will just prolong your agony. If he does still love you, he may eventually come around...but trying to get revenge on him will just make him run the other way. Just live your life and move forward so that you can heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 thouse, you have to let this go. In a previous thread you said you had slept with him and felt nothing...you just went along with it because he wanted it and you were happy that you felt nothing. I had suspected that you were only kidding yourself and here it is...if you felt nothing for him you wouldn't want revenge, you would just be moving on with your life. You are still hurting, that is natural...but looking for ways to stick it to him will just prolong your agony. If he does still love you, he may eventually come around...but trying to get revenge on him will just make him run the other way. Just live your life and move forward so that you can heal. So true, I thought I was over it. Atleast I convinced myself I was over it. I do want to be rid of this not quite sure how though, but I also feel I want him to suffer some I shouldn't have to carry the pain all by myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love4life Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I think the best way to measure being "over it" is when you stop thinking about it all, unless it's a fleeting good or bad memory. Any memory or thought that leads to more thoughts or questions, just shows you're not over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 So true, I thought I was over it. Atleast I convinced myself I was over it. I do want to be rid of this not quite sure how though, but I also feel I want him to suffer some I shouldn't have to carry the pain all by myself. You really don't know how much he is suffering. He could be suffering a lot, regretting his decision to end things. You don't have to inflict anything on him because his pain will ultimately be self-inflicted. The pain you are feeling makes you want to lash out..but that won't make you feel any better...it will make you feel worse...because when you love someone you don't want them to hurt...so in the cold light of day, after you stick it to him, you will just feel badly that you hurt him and you will feel badly that you stooped to that level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.