Goincrazy Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Ok I wrote this poem yesterday and I'm going to give it to my gf Wednesday for our anniversary. I'm 17 and she is almost 17. Anyways the homecoming dance was earlier this month and we had a blast and I want to put the picture in a decorative frame and give it to her with this poem on the back but I want to know what you guys think of my poem and if it needs any changes. Picture of You I still remember The day we first met That most certainly is a day I will never forget. It's funny how our paths crossed And how I've grown to love you I just thank God with all my heart That the girl I feel for was you. The way you light up my life Is similar to fire flies in a jar So magical and unexplainable More miraculous than a shooting star. Every time we are apart My longing to hold you becomes unbearable No other girl could please me For none are even comparable. All I have to help me cope Is this picture of you and me It's covered by a piece of glass Making it very clear to see. The glass protects the picture From any rips or wrinkles So I can admire your smile And the way your eyes twinkle. At that moment We seem happier than ever Our smiles expressing and symbolizing Our true love that will last forever. The solid and sturdy frame Holds an image I'll remember forever And captures a memorable moment in time As well as binding our souls together. I love to gaze at this photograph Each day and each night For when I do, our adoring eyes meet And in an instant, everything seems right. This special photograph I placed firmly near my bed To bring me comforting smiles When thoughts of you fill my head. You are the missing segment To the puzzle of my life (Haven't thought of two more lines to go with this stanza left so ignore it) When I look at this picture Memories of us in my mind, I recreate And it's then that I realize The colliding of our lives was no mere coincidence, but fate… Although we might be physically separated at times In a sense, we will always be together Because as long as we have our pictures We'll be together forever… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mahlina Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Aaww...Very Sweet! She'll probably cry! Don't change anything with the poem. Since it's from your heart, it's very meaningful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortyperiwinkles Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 awwwwww!!!!!!! i agree with everything in the previous comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enadevoli Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 i agree with every one when they say its sweet...your such a sweet guy to write a poem for her. there's nothing better than getting something like that from a guy, at least for me! it shows that he has a sensitive/romantic/sweet/creative side & he's thinking about her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kodiakxt Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 really good man, great job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goincrazy Posted November 12, 2003 Author Share Posted November 12, 2003 Thanks everyone! You all are so nice. I only changed one line that makes it sound even better and those two lines that I wasn't sure what to do with I wrote on the bottom after the end of the poem. The reason I'm writing this is because my gf is a senior and I'm still a jr (she skipped a grade - that's why we are about the same age and she's 1 year ahead of me) Anyway she is probably going to the University of Wyoming which is sooooooo far away seeing as how we live in Florida so I'm making this for her so we can always remember eachother. Thanks for the quick replies, if any of you need any advice don't hesitate to ask 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts