someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Ugh. I feel really stupid right now. For some dumb reason I text this girl that I'm crushing over and invited her to a new year's party. The thing is that I already know that she's going to decline my invitation. She's been pretty clear that she has no interest in seeing me, but we're still good friends. I don't understand why I put myself through this torture. I'd have no problem whatsoever getting someone else as a date for NY's but I only want her. It's so bad that I was out xmas shopping the other day and I found myself wanting to buy things for her. I have a stocking full of goodies and things that I think would make her smile, but at this point I'm pretty sure she'd feel awkward if I gave it to her. I've tried to go NC a couple of times, but I'm so weak that I end up chatting with her within a day or two. I just can't seem to stop myself from wanting to pursue her. I can't even get myself interested in other women unless I'm drunk and horny. I know that I'm doing everything wrong but I keep doing the same thing over and over again. I'm seriously considering throwing my cell phone in the garbage so I don't do stupid things like this anymore. Can anyone relate? I'm getting to the point where I wish she'd just tell me to F off, but I don't think she'd ever do that because we are good friends. grrrrrrr What the heck am I going to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiser Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 You're obsessed over this woman who has no interest in you other than friendship. What's worse is that you are in constant contact with her because you are good friends with her. You've tried pulling away from her for a few days (good idea), but you are unable to maintain it (bad idea). You're stuck. You are going to either have to wait it out until she has a major revelation and realizes you are the man of her dreams, or until you meet someone new that sweeps you off your feet, or until your feelings for her start to burn out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebizdiva Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Hmmmm... You guys are good friends but she won't go to a party with you? What is your definition of good friends and what is hers? I'd start there and then act accordingly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 You're obsessed over this woman who has no interest in you other than friendship. What's worse is that you are in constant contact with her because you are good friends with her. You've tried pulling away from her for a few days (good idea), but you are unable to maintain it (bad idea). You're stuck. You are going to either have to wait it out until she has a major revelation and realizes you are the man of her dreams, or until you meet someone new that sweeps you off your feet, or until your feelings for her start to burn out. Ahhhhhh!!! All those options blow! LOL I am stuck. On thursday I even blew off this really fun super sexy and flirtatious woman I met a couple of weeks ago...she was totally into me and I couldn't even be bothered to make a date with her. Not sure how the heck I'm going to get out of this rut. I guess I'll just have to keep on trying NC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 Hmmmm... You guys are good friends but she won't go to a party with you? What is your definition of good friends and what is hers? I'd start there and then act accordingly. We're good friends but we were lovers a long time ago. She knows I want her, but I don't think she knows how just how badly I'm coping with this unrequited thing. In her eyes and mine, there's no way we're going to a NY's party as 'just friends'. I want more and I'm not shy about letting her know (I know that's bad, but I can't help it). I don't know how she got her hooks into me...she's just a wonderful person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiser Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 You gotta cure your addiction to this woman. First off, you need to stop fantasizing about her when you masturbate. That just imbeds the obsession. When you are able to do that, come back for the next tip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 You gotta cure your addiction to this woman. First off, you need to stop fantasizing about her when you masturbate. That just imbeds the obsession. When you are able to do that, come back for the next tip. ROFL!!! I think wiser is actually the ceiling cat. image removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiser Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 And if you are going to continue to think about her when you masturbate, at least try using the "overhand technique". I notice that you keep losing your grip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 And if you are going to continue to think about her when you masturbate, at least try using the "overhand technique". I notice that you keep losing your grip. LMAO!!!! Thanks, I needed a good laugh. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebizdiva Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Hmmmmm... you were lovers in the past and she's such a wonderful person. I think everything comes down to semantics. You're not good friends, you're exes. You might not have been in a relationship per say, but you are exlovers. Put some time and space between the two of you and go on with your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 Hmmmmm... you were lovers in the past and she's such a wonderful person. I think everything comes down to semantics. You're not good friends, you're exes. You might not have been in a relationship per say, but you are exlovers. Put some time and space between the two of you and go on with your life. What makes it so difficult to stop talking to her is that sometimes I actually think that I can be just friends with her. Her and I talk about everything, even our sexual encounters with other people and how many times each of us came with whoever the hell we slept with. I think that might be part of the reason why I don't have any interest in other women. I'm at the point where I can't bare telling her about screwing another woman because I feel like I'd be cheating on my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebizdiva Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 And the plot thickens... She has put you in the "friend" zone. Let it go. Stop talking to this woman AND stop talking to her about your sex life. Why discuss your sex life and spend so much time and energy with someone you have such deep feelings for and are not going to have? You're playing with fire. Close the door completely. Shut it. Lock it and throw away the key. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 And the plot thickens... She has put you in the "friend" zone. Let it go. Stop talking to this woman AND stop talking to her about your sex life. Why discuss your sex life and spend so much time and energy with someone you have such deep feelings for and are not going to have? You're playing with fire. Close the door completely. Shut it. Lock it and throw away the key. O yea, I know this is true. The thing is that we flirt an awful lot though. Sometimes my brain can't recognize things for what they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebizdiva Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Semantics = flirting = messing with you If you want to continue to allow her to not only play with your emotions but with your sexual energy as well go right ahead. You already know she's not going to give you any and you are turning away hot babes throwing themselves at your feet. The attraction may be in the challenge for you with this girl. It's a lot of drama, maybe more drama than other women would be able to give you. If you continue to be not just friends with her but better yet "good" friends there won't be room for anybody else. If you really value her friendship set some boundaries and find somebody who wants to be with you and stop allowing her to toy with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 Semantics = flirting = messing with you If you want to continue to allow her to not only play with your emotions but with your sexual energy as well go right ahead. You already know she's not going to give you any and you are turning away hot babes throwing themselves at your feet. The attraction may be in the challenge for you with this girl. It's a lot of drama, maybe more drama than other women would be able to give you. If you continue to be not just friends with her but better yet "good" friends there won't be room for anybody else. If you really value her friendship set some boundaries and find somebody who wants to be with you and stop allowing her to toy with you. I totally agree with everything except for the part about me wanting drama. I was happy with her when there wasn't any drama, I think I'd be happy like that again. I'm going to come back and read this post when I'm thinking of contacting her. In her defense, I'm the one that initiates the flirting and like I said, I don't think she knows how badly I'm dealing. To be honest, I make a lot of BS excuses to her about why I'm not hooking up with any women beyond getting a number or having an embarrassing PDA at a bar. I tell her I want her, but I act like I'm playing the field when I'm really just going through the motions for appearance sake. Come to think of it, I'm not putting her in a good position either...she has a lot going on in her life right now and is struggling to get over her most recent breakup. I think a lot of it boils down to the fact that I'm too damn pushy and selfish. She gives and gives and gives and I take and take and take. She made a comment to me one time about her wanting to keep her distance from me because she felt that it seems like everyone wants a piece of her and she needed space so she didn't get bled dry. I'm not so good at giving space. I think both of us would be better off with some distance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 Well, just got my answer to the NY's invite and it's a negative. I'm not surprised at all but I still feel like crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebizdiva Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 You were happy with her? When? When you guys were lovers? Did you guys actually have a relationship? You may initiate the flirting but she allows it. All, I can say again is you're playing with fire. Put some time and space between you and her and that way neither one of you will get bled dry and you will find a healthier situation for you. This girl is all in your head. That's not healthy. Life is drama. The drama is in the chase. The drama is in the flirting. The drama is the saying, "No. I don't want to be with you, but I would like to tell you how good I felt when so and so made me cum." That's just an invitation to get bled dry waiting to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 once again. I agree. It still doesn't make me stop wanting to text her back...ha! I'm seriously thinking of giving my cell phone a bath. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebizdiva Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Don't give your cell phone a bath just use some restraint and self control. Take care, Sharifah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 Don't give your cell phone a bath just use some restraint and self control. Take care, Sharifah Thanks for all your supportive posts. I'll do my best to exercise some restraint. Thanks everyone!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LE DHUY NHUT Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Restraint and self control.The hardest things to practice.Also Oneitis is not good.Try going out with the other girl man and leave this one alone.It's good to have choices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
someguy88 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 Restraint and self control.The hardest things to practice.Also Oneitis is not good.Try going out with the other girl man and leave this one alone.It's good to have choices. haha "oneitis" never heard that one before. I already blew it with the other girl. I don't really care though. O well, life goes on I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LE DHUY NHUT Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 ONEITIS IS focusing all your efforts on one girl at the expense of all others.Of course this applies to guys who are 'courting /pursuing' and are single.See Diggity Dogg's posts for a better explanation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love4life Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Just glad to see you're on here and not out wasted and looking to score in an effort to escape the pain, someguy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veroni Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Not to come off mean or anything, but in a way she is telling you to F%k Off. She is calling you her friend, but you guys cant hang out? Thats not a friend. If you havent told her how you feel, chances are she already knows. You need to stop calling her, and spare yourself the heartache. That is exactly why I stopped talking to my ex. The friendship things was fake. You cant be friends with someone that you have feelings for. Now that we havent been talking, I feel alot better because I dont have to feel that agonizing pain of hearing once again how he loves me but isnt in love with me. Now I miss the time we shared, but not him. People change, and as sure that this girl is wonderful, she isnt what you need. Or your guys would be together right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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