bewilderment Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 I have written before about my husband and our problems as far as pretty much not agreeing on anything in our marraige, but I have just about had it with him when he purposely shows me a picture of our 3 year old son pointing a real gun. "That looks like a real gun!" I said. Then, he tells me that it is not real and that my Dad took the picture. I said it looks real, thereforeeee it is an immoral picture and to thow it out. He then says, "Why would I ever throw out a picture of my son?" I said, "Because we have a million other beautiful pictures of him not holding a weapon." I called my father and he was completely embarrassed and apologetic that he took the picture and that it was in bad taste. Then, I asked him, "Is the gun real?" And he said, "Yes, I am so sorry." I am mortified that my own father disrespected me by doing this behind my back and disgusted that my husband allowed it, showed it to me (almost laughing at me, knowing it bothers/hurts me), then lied to me that it was a toy gun. Am I in the right to feel this way???? I can't believe I married this man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsx730 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Assuming the gun was not loaded, not all people are raised in a way that considers guns to be a bad thing. As for the lying, he shouldn't have, but he may have been surprised by your reaction and lied about it to try and minimize the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sddeaston Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 My first gun was given to me at 6 months, for christmas. I didn't shoot it until I was about three or so. It was a .22, but still very real. Its not really that big of a deal, in my opinion, but different people were raised in different manors. If he knew you would be so against it, I can see it being an issue. However, if I was your H in this situation, I would just not have shown you the picture. Would not change whether or not the picture would exist, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsx730 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 The way I look at it, if you Husband would have made a big deal about the gun, your son would be more likely to develop a curiosity about it, and look for it later on down the road when no one is around. By giving it (unloaded I hope =X ) to yoru son, letting him play with it and see that it's really no big deal, he'll be less likely to go looking for it behind your back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EQD Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 yeah i have to say that if the gun wasnt loaded then it wasnt a big deal.. BUT, that is only if they normally keep guns away and locked up at all times! Until the child is old enough to learn gun responsibility he shouldnt ever be able to access a gun by himself (guns in corners of rooms or in closets that he can get to) BAD IDEAS. My dad taught us about guns and gun safety when i was 10. Today i am a great markswoman and i have yet to accidentaly shoot myself. Its the kids that don't know about guns are the ones that get hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Not the brightest idea. Does your husband know how strongly you feel about guns? Do you have guns in your house? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gath Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 On the one hand, I agree that they shouldn't do something that would make you feel this bad. On the other hand, I feel that teaching children the truth about guns should be done as soon as they're old enough to comprehend it. Education is the only way to keep a child safe when there are guns in the house. i don't care where you lock it up or how, at some point, your children will get a hold of that gun. The only way to make sure they're safe is to know that they understand the dangers of a weapon, and are fully competent in its use. My father started me with guns when I was 4. I've never shot anyone, and I never considered a real weapon to be a toy. My Father felt safe in the knowedge that not only could he keep weapons in the house for our protection, but he could tell me where to find them and know that I wasn't going to accidentally shoot one of my friends someday. You're right to be unhappy that they disrepected your wishes, but I cannot stress enough the importance of educating your children about guns (which in this modern world they can find anywhere, hell we found a machete in our driveway once). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeStrongBeHappy Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 for some people, guns are part of their lifestyle, but it is a bit irresponsible to let a very young child play with a real gun. children under a certain age just do not understand the concept of death and serious injury, and it is common for kids to get into guns and injure their playmates if not themselves. it is not always a case of an accidiental shooting either, it is a case of the kid not really grasping death or the danger of the gun. how many kids are told don't touch that, and they still do? it is naive to think a child this young may NOT get into trouble if they get their hands on a gun or the means to load it with bullets when an adult is not present. so i can understand your concern. i do hope that you have a LOCKING gun cabinet with the key totally inaccessible to the child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gath Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 i do hope that you have a LOCKING gun cabinet with the key totally inaccessible to the child. I gotta say, I don't think "tottally inaccessible to the child" is a realistic possibility. some of them are pretty damn sneaky lil rug rats. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 I personally don't see anything wrong with it, It's better that he is getting him used to it rather than telling him "no, stay away" because all that does is create more curiosity and he's more tempted to mess with them. My son held his first real gun when he was a little over a year old (i was right there holding him and the gun). And at 2 he can tell the difference between a real gun and a fake gun but knows better than to touch either one without us okay'ing that it's a toy gun. I just hope they keep these guns locked up and out of the reach of the tiny little hands but otherwise, what's the real harm in it? He does have to learn at some point and it's better to teach him the right & wrong ways of handling a gun at an early age rather than waiting until he's 10-15 years old at a friends house and ends up shooting himself or someone else because he has no clue how to handle it. But then again, I've been raised about guns my entire life and I Have full respect for all weapons as does my 2 year old son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clementine orange Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Whatever happened to 3 year olds playing with Barney dolls or giant lego or something. Am I the only person who thinks there is something very wrong here? Statistics: Phoenix, Arizona, 2004 - 77 accidental gun deaths for kids and teens. I'd better log out before I go into a rant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melody77 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Okay, looks like I'm gonna be the only one (or almost) but I think it's NOT a good idea at all. BUT again everyone is raised a different way. I'm from Europe and guns are really not that accessible so I'm kinda shocked. I wouldn't want to see a 3-year old BABY with a gun, I don't even think it's funny, cute or whatever... To my opinion, and once again, I don't consider it the best one, it's just mine... guns and children have nothing to do together. Of course, in a country where weapons seem to be a big part of the culture, I agree that kids should be educated and understand the danger but they have time and there are better ways to educate them rather than putting a gun in their hands and having fun taking pictures... I don't really think it can be considered as any kind of 'education' there. To me, they should be more protected rather than exposed. And, like I said, they have time to learn... I mean it's like sex, it's something normal and natural but you're not going to teach your kids about it or show them pictures when they are 3-year old. I say if teaching them about guns is really necessary, there is a time and a way to do it. Again, I hope I didn't offend anyone, it's really not my intention. Bewilderment, I understand your reaction and would surely feel the same way, especially when you consider that lies came on top of the whole gun situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenmonster Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 If you teach your kids proper gun safety and handleing then there shouldn't be a problem about it. My 5 year old nephew has a gun...yes...real gun...its a single shot 22 that he got for christmas last year and has learned to shoot very well over the last year. My brother in law and sister keep the rifle in the gun locker which only my sister and brother in law have the combo to and my nephew knows the power of and respects guns...instead of being uneducated and scared of them. Guns are a part of my family, always have been. most of us hunt and basically all of us shoot. while I do understand and respect those families that choose not to have guns in the house...I don't understand the people that just because they don't choose to own firearms or just because they don't like firearms they feel it is their right to bash those that do. oh well. anyway...to the OP...if your father and husband own firearms and are used to handling them and know what they are doing and handed the boy an unloaded weapon then I think you definitely over reacted to that part. however, its not cool that he lied to you at all...thats what i would be upset about if I was you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that.girl Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 well. . .we have lots of guns in my house, and my grandfather bought my little brother his first hunting gun (a .22) for his 5th birthday. He has been taught all safety procedures, and all the guns in our home are kept locked in a gun case which he doesnt have access to. For us its no big deal. . .the men in my family hunt and there is no reason why he shouldn't be involved as well. HOWEVER I think its not ok for your husband to do something that he knows would upset you. Thats hateful, and he definetly owes you an apology if he knew how strongly you felt before hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerngirl Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 I would be absolutely livid if this were me. In fact, I cant recall where it was but there was a recent thing on the news about a father who let his son hold a machine gun and was up on charges with the child endangerment people. I do not own a gun. I do not want my children playing with guns. I would be ticked off! I think it is HIGHLY inappropriate for a toddler to be holding a gun regardless about if someone owns guns or not! In fact, if you have a gun around children, you should have it LOCKED in a gun safe with the bullets out of it, never loaded... and those LOCKED somewhere else. Too many children have died at the hands of a gun, playing because they thought they were cool. They should be taught to fear guns for the powerful deadly weapons they are until such time as they are old enough and mature enough to be shown proper usage and handling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenmonster Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Too many children have died at the hands of a gun, playing because they thought they were cool. They should be taught to fear guns for the powerful deadly weapons they are until such time as they are old enough and mature enough to be shown proper usage and handling. accidents happen because people haven't taught their children proper handling and safety procedures with guns...not because they were exposed to them. kids naturally want what they cant have...so if you say "NO YOU CANT HAVE THAT" a million times as loud as you want to a kid then its more than likely going to reach out and grab it as soon as you turn your back. and since you didn't teach your kid how to handle it properly and respect it...and all you did was teach your kid to be scared and fearful of the dang thing...THATS when accidents happen...THATS when kids 'play' with guns.. teaching your children to be scared of guns is the last thing you want to do...teaching them to understand and respect them is the best way to prevent accidents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flower99 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 I fully agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flower99 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 accidents happen because people haven't taught their children proper handling and safety procedures with guns...not because they were exposed to them. kids naturally want what they cant have...so if you say "NO YOU CANT HAVE THAT" a million times as loud as you want to a kid then its more than likely going to reach out and grab it as soon as you turn your back. and since you didn't teach your kid how to handle it properly and respect it...and all you did was teach your kid to be scared and fearful of the dang thing...THATS when accidents happen...THATS when kids 'play' with guns.. teaching your children to be scared of guns is the last thing you want to do...teaching them to understand and respect them is the best way to prevent accidents. This isn't necessarly true. According to this site, there were more homicides (they knew how to use the gun ) from kids with guns, than there were accidents (kids who don't know how to use it)from kids with guns . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sddeaston Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 First of all, machine guns themselves are ILLEGAL. Second, a machine gun is very different from a single shot rifle or even a pistol. About the children who have died, greenmonster pointed out already that accidents happen because people do not educate their children about guns and respect for them. They teach them to fear them and the consequences of that are that they do not know how to handle them when they are faced with it. Lets be real, at some point, they will come into contact with some kind of firearm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerngirl Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 If you are going to teach your children about gun safety and love of firearms do it at an appropriate age. Would you think 14 was a good age?? I had a friend in highschool. A friend who was female.. Another girl was threatening to kick her tail... She went into her daddy's room and took the gun from his dressor that was always there. She knew how to use it. She had it in her front of her pants, safety unlocked. She planned to murder that day. Know what happened? The gun went off shooting her in the stomach! She killed herself!!!! I wonder how her daddy feels now? I will never forget how I felt. RIP Marissa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beauty21 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Am I in the right to feel this way???? I can't believe I married this man I can't believe the responses on this board. So, it's okay to give a 5 year old child a gun for his birthday. HAHAHA! You guys are funny! My lil cousin's father showed him how to use a gun, he was 8 years old at the time. My lil cousin ended up taking the gun to school with him and shooting another girl in his class, in the arm. It is not about showing your kids the safety. Showing them safety would be to keep these kinds of weapons away from them. Leave that to the adults. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sddeaston Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 This isn't necessarly true. According to this site, there were more homicides (they knew how to use the gun ) from kids with guns, than there were accidents (kids who don't know how to use it)from kids with guns . ] Just because someone knows how to hold a gun and pull the trigger, does not mean they have been taught to respect how powerful it is. Nor does it mean that they have actually been taught about guns in general. A kid who has been taught from an early age will be MUCH less likely to actually commit murder. Not to mention that those statistics don't mention the background of the kids committing the acts. Generally, these are misguided youth who want to prove something to their peers, or are mentally unstable. You can argue "yes but how did they get the gun, from home?" Yes, very possible, and the parents are then to blame because they make them accessible to the kid. But then again, its very easy to acquire a firearm in the streets of most inner-city areas. Even in my area its easy, and I am not in the inner-city. If you keep them away from it, their interest is automatically peaked. They will be around guns at some point, so why not educate them when you still have control of the situation. I still think people are way too scared of guns in general. I also still think that the OP is over-reacting about the situation, with the exception of if her husband already knew it would have upset her. In which case the picture should never have been exposed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Why is everyone jumping to conclusion and saying he let his kid "play" with the gun??? I never got that from what was originally posted, he let the kid HOLD the gun. Holding and playing are two different things in my book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sddeaston Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Why is everyone jumping to conclusion and saying he let his kid "play" with the gun??? I never got that from what was originally posted, he let the kid HOLD the gun. Holding and playing are two different things in my book. Well said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beauty21 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 He shouldn't have let a 3 year old hold a gun, period. What is wrong with you people that think this is okay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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