servedcold Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 If you are in therapy and medicated, and have commited to stay so, I see no reason to disclose before an exclusive relationship forms unless your condition has affected your ability to participate in romantic relationships in the past. When you do disclose, I'd avoid labels or particular diagnoses, which are more for the use of practitioners, and tend to confuse laymen. Bipolar is one of the "good" disorders in that it responds better to treatment than other PDs, so if you have commited to treatment, and stick with it, you should be able to have normal relationships. Once you disclose, though, you are duty bound to disclose further if and when you cease treatment or meds. Best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alberta Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 My current Boyfriend is bipolar and I found out through friends before beginning a relationship. This scared me at the time because of past experiences and we ended up not getting together for another 1 1/2 months. I wish I had found out after getting to know him better. Perhaps if you cann fit mental illness into the conversation somewhere after a little while and see what her feelings are you can work out how best to approach speaking to her about it? If the relationship is getting serious you need to tell her but I don't think its necessary in the early stages. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Some people are very proud of being bipolar. My son and I discussed whether he should go this route, but he has decided against it. We aren't ashamed, but I think this may be a step too far. link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servedcold Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Some people are very proud of being bipolar. My son and I discussed whether he should go this route, but he has decided against it. We aren't ashamed, but I think this may be a step too far. Asperger's is cool because it sounds like something only smart people get, so if he wants max disordered street cred, maybe get him to go that route. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afrodite79 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Asperger's is cool because it sounds like something only smart people get, so if he wants max disordered street cred, maybe get him to go that route. LOL!! @ "max disordered street cred" Well anyway in replay to the OPs post: I agree with everyone that maybe you should tell her before you get serious. I told my ex about my depression and meds after a couple of dates. He told me it was a a fake disease and that doctors made it up just to make money off of the meds. He thought it was just an excuse for people to be lazy. I stupidly stayed with him and ignored that huge red flag. It's good to know how someone really feels about it before you get involved with them. BTW: Jimi Hendrix was bipolar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 LOL!! @ "max disordered street cred" Well anyway in replay to the OPs post: I agree with everyone that maybe you should tell her before you get serious. I told my ex about my depression and meds after a couple of dates. He told me it was a a fake disease and that doctors made it up just to make money off of the meds. He thought it was just an excuse for people to be lazy. I stupidly stayed with him and ignored that huge red flag. It's good to know how someone really feels about it before you get involved with them. BTW: Jimi Hendrix was bipolar Not bad enough to be ill, but to be called lazy on top of that? What a blow! Jimi Hendrix was bipolar? I didn't know that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afrodite79 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Not bad enough to be ill, but to be called lazy on top of that? What a blow! Jimi Hendrix was bipolar? I didn't know that. Yeah it was bad and only got worse. It sucks to have an SO that you can't share things with without them calling you apathetic or lazy. well you live and learn. Yeah. He wrote the some "Manic Depression" about it. I always think of him when I feel bad about having depression and being a lefty. There's a whole list of famous people with BPD link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 I told my ex about my depression and meds after a couple of dates. He told me it was a a fake disease and that doctors made it up just to make money off of the meds. He thought it was just an excuse for people to be lazy. Did you tell this man that left untreated with meds, 20% of people with this fake disease commit suicide? Not to mention the ones who try and fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeckyllNHyde Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 Did you tell this man that left untreated with meds, 20% of people with this fake disease commit suicide? Not to mention the ones who try and fail. Omg! What are signs of being bipolar? Or symptoms? I fear my ex may be.. Not my most recent one, but one I am really good friends with and care for as a friend. He worries me sometimes with his strange behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 link removed There is a lot of information on this site, JNH. My son asked me just tonight if I think he will always have access to medicine. I don't know how to answer him sometimes. I just said as long as his dad or I am alive he will get it no matter what happens but if something happens to us someday he will be on his own to figure it out. I told him not to think too hard about the future because we cannnot control it. He worries so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afrodite79 Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 Did you tell this man that left untreated with meds, 20% of people with this fake disease commit suicide? Not to mention the ones who try and fail. Well I didn't know the statistics then. He probably would have had another remark that had something to do with saying those people were weak. I told him about being in therapy since I was a little girl. He said that therapists only want money and that those people should just talk to family and friends. I told him that family and friends aren't professionally trained to help with people with mental disorders. He said that I had a point but it still didn't change how he felt. It was ironic because he didn't believe in mental illness, taking meds or going to therapy but he was one of the most f'ed up people I've ever met and probably needed at least one of those things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 Well, I've known my son from birth up until he became ill, and it is like two entirely different people. I liken it to him dying and another person entering his body. It's certainly not fake. I am getting to know the new son slowly, and I do love him. It's just so different. I'm so glad your parents got you help for your illness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servedcold Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 Well, I've known my son from birth up until he became ill, and it is like two entirely different people. I liken it to him dying and another person entering his body. It's certainly not fake. I am getting to know the new son slowly, and I do love him. It's just so different. I'm so glad your parents got you help for your illness. Miss Firecracker, sorry if my last post was insensitive, I thought you were making a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 I was sort of. And you didn't seem insensitive at all, servedcold. We joke all the time about this. It seems to get us through it. If I can help a few people believe that bipolar is real, it's worth the time here. Lots of regular members probably get tired of hearing about it, and for that I apologize. It just kills me when I hear someone say they are misunderstood. Too bad everyone doesn't know how much they suffer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeckyllNHyde Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 Well, I've known my son from birth up until he became ill, and it is like two entirely different people. I liken it to him dying and another person entering his body. It's certainly not fake. I am getting to know the new son slowly, and I do love him. It's just so different. I'm so glad your parents got you help for your illness. Miss Firecracker, what kinds of changes do you see in your son? Like how is he normally and how does he suddenly change? It must be hard being young (not sure how old he is but he seems young from you post about him) and having to deal with this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afrodite79 Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Well, I've known my son from birth up until he became ill, and it is like two entirely different people. I liken it to him dying and another person entering his body. It's certainly not fake. I am getting to know the new son slowly, and I do love him. It's just so different. I'm so glad your parents got you help for your illness. Thanks. I'm glad that they got me help so early in life too. Now I just have to figure out how to get it for myself. I'm glad that you're so supportive of your son. You obviously love him very very much. That's exactly what he needs and your love will surely help him to deal with his illness. I have an uncle that's schizophrenic and the family has always been supportive of him. Because of that he's doing very well now. A friend of mine just went into rehab for her BPD/borderline disorder and cocaine addiction. Her parents are very supportive of her but they live another state. They can only do so much for her from far away. Because she doesn't have good emotional support that is close by she stayed in a cycle of being on meds and doing fine/going off meds and using coke/ going to rehab. It's horrible thing to see a great person be destroyed by the disorder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valiantv Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 I wouldn't tell straight away... First impressions last and all that... People might say, "If she can't accept that she's not worth having anyway", but I disagree. If after she gets to like you, you tell her and she's repulsed... then she's not worth having anyway, but if you tell her right away, she might have a preconception about it. A preconception she could otherwise learn to get over... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chele Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 It is always good to tell the truth. Just pick the right moment. By a peaceful stream or over a nice cup of tea. Tell her a little bit about it so she understands. Be with the one you love, whether they are in full health or not. Each day do what you can to get well and hopefully she will be able to encourage you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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