The Undesireable

[ftheunion]

I don't mean this in any demeaning way. I know I don't have the desire to be a special education teacher or work with them. I would not be very good at it. I am not a social or whatever person. I am too sensitive. I also imagine it in past like caveman days and it is worse for me.............

 

 

I sometimes think on how I am lucky since at least I had a chance. But people born with deformities, the unsymetrical, mentally challenged never had a chance. When people see them, they may have pity or respect or want to be nice to them.....................but do these unfortunate humans in this natural lottery of life get lonely? I'm sure not all aware or concerned with love/sex. It is never brought up around them. Not much. I'm sure they take in data about sex somehow.

 

I don't mean normal deaf or blind people necessarily, but the ones who cannot attract mates. Cause people naturally don't get crushes on the sickly or malformed or ones not normal in the head. I argue that physical is everything. Like I've heard of guys' wives going crazy or devoping some disorder later on in the marraige, but the physical is there.

 

I just don't know cause I feel all lonely and stuff, but I shouldn't because I am fortunate to be me! I am content with myself, but have been alone. I am not the only or worse case of this, but this aspect is depressing for me. They deserve it more than I do. I guess in nature these ones generally don't survive that much. But humans have compassion, and thats good. But if they grew up and died alone (virgins) then natural selection would keep them out.

 

Evolution is ironic. I daydream about this. Even like head injuries and stuff. So devastating it is for me. Intense stuff..........

[Dako]

I deal with people at work that are sometimes physically or mentally challenged. They are us.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Some of the "undesirables" you speak of have fuller and happier lives than "normal" people. Come on what's the point of this?

 

Too right. It's too much of a ramble for me to know what the heck he's saying.

[ftheunion]

Do they ever wonder or express this? How so? I am wondering if anyone has observed this. Or observed them watching a couple while out in public.

 

I know, its hard to explain. If they were just physical, then they might have low self esteem.............But regardless at some time the thought could cross their mind?

[Dako]

People with disabilities get the itch.

Just ask them.

[ftheunion]

I don't get what you mean. That would not be respectful. Is personal stuff I won't ask anyone to reveal. It sounds perposterous.

[wiser]

I think so does your post. So it goes hand in hand. Right!?

 

LOL.....I too am failing to see any meaningful direction in this thread.

[Fritz The Cat]

Friday's child.....Hard luck is her brother

Friday's child.....Her sister's misery

Friday's child.....Her daddy they call hard times

Friday's child.....That's me

 

Friday's child.....Born a little ugly

Friday's child.... Good looks passed her by..oh

Friday's child.....Makes something look like nothing

Friday's child.....Am I..ya

 

Guitar Solo

 

Friday's child.....Never climbed no mountain

Friday's child.....She ain't even gonna try..oh

Friday's child.....Whom they'll forget to bury

Friday's child.....Am I

[ladyblue07]

So you're asking if people with disabilities and deformities want relationships?

 

Well, going by what I've seen in the disabled people I've met, I think it varies from one person to the next. Some people do and some don't.

I do know that even seriously disabled people can find love and get married. In one of my classes, I listened to a talk given by two men who were paralyzed from the neck down who both had gotten married. One of the men had adopted kids too.

 

Even if people without disabilities were unwilling to give them a chance, remember that there are other disabled people out there that they could have relationships with.

 

Attitude probably plays a big role in if someone who is challenged by some kind of disability/deformity ever finds love. If you assume that nobody will want you, you will tend to push people away before they even have a chance to develop any fondness for you. If you are open to other people and don't give up on socializing even if you get rejected a few times, you will probably find someone who likes you sooner or later.

[ilovepoemsalot]

I'm not really understanding his point either.

 

But sure, physically or mentally undesirable people wont have sex or relationships with normal people, but I'm sure most if not all of them will have sex and relationships with other physically or mentally undesirable people. So, I don't think most of them will die virgins without ever experiencing a relationship.

 

There's usually clubs and stuff for these sort of people to meet others that are like them, like people with downs syndrome, a lot of them seem to couple up.

[Dako]

I don't get what you mean. That would not be respectful. Is personal stuff I won't ask anyone to reveal. It sounds perposterous.

 

Maybe in time you'll have involvement with these people and have frank discussions. I sure have, and learned a lot. I don't mean to ask strangers, but people you know personally.

It will happen.

[Batya33]

Rent the documentary Murderball. (2005) I think it will give you a very different perspective. But be careful - those guys - who are quadriplegics - certain of their girlfriends were quite beautiful so you might get jealous.

 

There's also probably still a web site for the movie where you can read about their lives after the movie.

[Dako]

My friend Mike was one of the incidental chair rugby players in that film.

He's a real horndog and a great man.

[ftheunion]

Ok now my thought is lost.............I understand what y'all say, but it doesn't make sense. Sure in rare cases, but based by what I take in from the world, I would never expect some pretty chick want to get to know some guy who was autistic. Even quadraplegic. She wants buff guys to walk around with. I'm not saying she would leave if he was injured and paralyzed, but how would they take a liking to someone so far as to develope a crush.

 

In any case that sure as heck didn't happen in caveman times.

 

I don't percieve that. I just assume they are solitary when it comes to dating. I am not bad looking, tall, tan, and still don't attract females enough for a relationship.

 

I suppose that the group homes may help, but I thought the ethics generally kept it on the downlow. Like it isn't something present there. Not dating.

[Batya33]

The problem is that most women who are healthy and balanced don't want to be with a man with the negative attitudes and hostilities you seem to have - those are true disabilities but fortunately you can "cure" them. The other problem is your narrowmindedness and presumptions about people with disabilties. That kind of attitude is also a big turn off for most people I know.

 

No - I don't care if I am "walking around" with a "buff" guy as my boyfriend. Irrelevant.

 

And yes i have declined to meet in person men with serious disabilities - and declined to date a second time a man who lied to me before meeting - half his face was deformed and paralyzed in a very scary looking way (his photos were in profile -so you couldn't tell)- I can empathize with why he didn't tell me but the shock plus the realization that it 'would" bother me quite a bit led me to the tough decision not to see him again. Lovely person and he had been engaged before and I am sure he met someone special. I was sorry that some (shallow?) part of me couldn't deal with the deformity. But I didn't want to lead him on.

[ftheunion]

Interesting. I can't complain to be sure. I am fortunate and glad to be me.

 

Interesting posts.