Arabic marriage

[cattie]

Well,one of my best friends lately told me she had been knowing an arabic man for around one year online,lately they met in shanghai china where my frined lived.they fell in love each other,they decided to talk about marriage, i was happy to her till she told me that the arabic man's divorced two years ago and had three kids.i was shocked a little bit that he's as double age as my frined ,if they really loved each other? well,that's not the main problem,the most incredible thing is that he told my friend that many of his relatives,his friends ,kids and his mum asked him to let his ex-wife back for children.he said he loved children and his mum,he couldn't know how to handle the problem, so if it was ok for my friend that in case,his ex-wife came back and they carried on their marriage.my friend asked me to give some suggestion.i have really no idea about that,i asked if u really loved her without any doubt? he said yes, but my friend was worry if the arabic man was serious about that? because he told my friend that he would keep the secret about their marriage to his kids,to his relatives,to his mum...and my friend would still carry on living in china, he's still living his own country and then meet once each 3 months for 2 weeks. i think that's really unacceptable,if he really divorced from his ex-wife,why should he kept the secret?if he's serious,why shouldn't he ask my frined to live with him? and the another problem is i heard that arabic men are legal to marry 4 wives ,is that the truth? i just don't believe in my friend's bf.he 's muslim,and he told to my friend that muslims never lied.but keeping secret to his mum and kids to marry is not called a liar?that's so mess. can anyone give some suggestion? i don't want my friend to be in trouble.thanks.

[Scoobie]

Hello,

 

I am an arab muslim, and im going to tell you to tell your friend to run away from this man.

 

Yes, muslim man are allowed to marry up to 4 wives. But that's not the problem here. The problem is with this man's deception. He's treating your friend like a commodity. He wants your friend because she is much younger than him = good horny sex.

 

Some Muslims lie all the time. Just like Christians aren't supposed to lie, but some do. This person is an idiot.

 

You need to slap some sense into your friend and tell her she is deluded.

[crookster_man]

Hello,

 

I am an arab muslim, and im going to tell you to tell your friend to run away from this man.

 

Yes, muslim man are allowed to marry up to 4 wives. But that's not the problem here. The problem is with this man's deception. He's treating your friend like a commodity. He wants your friend because she is much younger than him = good horny sex.

 

Some Muslims lie all the time. Just like Christians aren't supposed to lie, but some do. This person is an idiot.

 

You need to slap some sense into your friend and tell her she is deluded.

 

Quoted for truth

 

One's religion doesn't repersent the kind of person they are. Just take a look at the world today. We have "peaceful" muslims suicide blowing themselves up. We have "chaste" catholic priests molesting little boys to name a few. Not to mention all the hate and intollerance being spewed by the christian religions in the states...

 

My point isn't to knock religion it's to show that one's religions creed is not good evidence to one's morality.

[bpsekh]

First, it is a good thing that your friend wants to think about marriage, because proper marriage is a social necessity because through marriage, families are established and the family is the fundamental unit of our society. Furthermore, marriage is the only proper way where men and women engage in intimacy in traditional cultures.

 

However, there are many tricksters and dishonest people who do not take the vow of marriage seriously, and use it only as a means of having sex. There should be no such thing as a secret marriage, and furthermore a husband must lodge her where he resides himself according to his means. The wifes lodge must be adequate so as to ensure her privacy, comfort and independence.

 

Also, your friend will have to become a Muslim woman in order to validate the marriage.

 

Like Scoobie said, your friend should not marry the man becaue he has lied to her and because the "marriage" will only be one that is legal on paper but not permitted by Islamic law.

[Blueivy]

One word. Mistress. That's what your friend is to this man if she "marries" him. Maybe I'm being cynical here but if he's soooo in love with her why would he live in a different country and only see her a few months in a year?

 

Is he trying to keep up the appearance of a good Muslim man who's doing it for his children? Your friend may have met him in China but what truth is this man telling her if they have what seems to be an online relationship?

 

Also, staying with his ex-wife for his children??? It infuriates me to hear people give that excuse. It's far more damaging for children to see their parents in an unhappy marriage. Children take in a lot of what they see. If he's staying with his wife "for the children' imagine how much yelling and fighting will go on in that household? And that's before his first wife, the wife with the children, the one that's suppose to come first finds out about your friend.

 

If your friend goes through with any of this, then she's going to be taking the blame for a "ruined" marriage find his family find out about her. She would be considered the temptress that took another woman's husband. None of this will be fair to your friend.

 

This man is also a coward and a liar. From what she's told you and the type of relationship they have I don't think he's actually divorced.

[Aleadragonhawk]

The situation that your friend is stepping in to is one that will make her miserable for the rest of her life. What she really need to do is step away from the relationship and take some time for herself without him around. It can be so easy to be drawn in with an online relationship, and it's only by going no contact that she'll be able to snap out of this spell.

[rocio]

He wants to deceive his friends and family and treat his life partner like a worthless nobody. It doesn't matter if he's arabic, african or european. It doesn't matter if he's Muslim, Jewish or Buddhist. We have a word for this type of guy - DEADBEAT

[Scoobie]

 

Also, your friend will have to become a Muslim woman in order to validate the marriage.

 

This is not true at all.

 

Further more, you said Muslim men can marry Christian and Jews in the other thread.

[bpsekh]

This is not true at all.

 

Further more, you said Muslim men can marry Christian and Jews in the other thread.

 

I apologize, but I didn't know all the details on Islamic marriage when I read this. I was thereforeeee incorrect when I wrote that.

 

However, my guess is that she is not a Christian (specifically Greek Orthodox, I think) or a Jew because she lives in China. In that case, the marriage would not be permitted under any circumstances. thereforeeee, it might seem the best way to become a "Person of the Book" is through a conversion. Then again, conversion strictly for the sake of marriage is of no value.

 

However, this is not a normal situation and since the man has no intention of granting her the rights she deserves as a wife, this girl needs to get away from this guy as soon as possible.

 

When I re-examine this problem, there is absolutely no way that this marriage will be acceptable.