am i a sore loser?

[cattie]

Is all of them Nemesis?

The story starts 2 years ago.i was studying in unversity and used to being praised how beautiful my face was,how perfect my body was.my mum was so proud of me,everyone thought she's got a nice daughter. I was so confident of myself . i was very active,i liked shopping with my friends,chatting with them,travellin' and so on.Once i was surfing the net,one want ad. attached to me,it's about they are looking for air hostess.that was my dream since when i was young. it's really good news for me. all the demand they asked completely suited to me. i took the note of their phone number. i told about to my parents as soon as they back home.They adviced me to be carefull of those ad. and be concentrate on studying first.But i insist to try first.as my wish,i passed the interview .I was so happy and thought i deserve it because i have beauty,there's no reason for them to refuse me. But they asked to pay 40thousand for the trainning course before i was competent for air hostess. I thought it was a good opportunity ,so i bet u have guessed the ending right? yes, my parents finally accepted it under my persuade. they asked me again if i completely thought over before i started to leave for there. i still insisted in.i told them,please don't worry about me,i would be very fine. So i went to another city by alone,when i arrived at there,i was little shock,it was totally different from where i live. i lived in shanghai the most developing city in china,but here had no high buildings,no shopping malls,no subways...Anyway i only needed to stay here for three months then i would be back to another better city for working ,i tried to make myself calm down.three months passed very quickly,it was the timeduring new year,teacher there( i was actually learnt nothing there)said the training would be over today,now everyone could come back to spend new years with your family,and i will give a call to everyone of u to tell the axact day to work,now all u have to do is spending a happy new year and ready to sigh in your company.All student truned the brain by this good news,no of us doubted about that.we packed up to back home and be waitting waitting waitting. i told myself the call would be coming up soon. another three months passed,there's still no call from them, i realized it's less opportunity for me,i tried to call back,but got no answer or just asked me to be patient.i started to believe in the truth that i was cheated.u can hardly image how i feel at that time.all hopeful were gone in time.i totally lost my mind,i dare not meet anyone,talk any of my friends,my relatives,my students ,even my parents.because i know all of them were laughing at me,were blaming at me...i kept myself alone in my own room. i had nothing now,what i could do ?nothing,nothing,nothing....few months later,i got fed up of being that.and my parents forced me to find a job no matter what job was.but i have to find one and no long be this.i finally found the job worked for bank credit card centre ,my position is like a salesman,i have to find new customers by myself with any way.i got paid not bad,but it was really tough job for me. i got too much stress from it.i quit it after woring for 3 months .i am too peacockish,but the truth is the truth,i got jobless.but i just can't accept this truth. i gave myself stress to find another job as soon as possible.one day i started to be interested chatting online and there's a man who draws my attention.i started to like him ,but i lied to him as well.i lied that i still worked for bank credit card centre. i wanted to tell that i had no job ,and find a better job is not easy for me now because i hadn't graduated from unversity.

I want to know if i should tell him the truth?if he know the truth,what do u guys think of the ending would be like?Am i a very bad person?what should i do now? i planed to go to unversity to study another 3 or 4 years.but i am also confused if i would be confident to keep on till i got diploma there,or should i start to find common work from basic to collect more experiences?or what what? i am so confused. i really lost myself now.

[LilBear]

Go and get yourself an education - seems that you really want to. You just have to believe that you can do it...it will give you the confidence to see you through it.

 

And it's perfectly ok to be embarrassed of being jobless.

[Poe]

if you were content to be jobless, that would be a big problem. Please get your diploma. This is your life.