I've found a soulmate...now what?

[Blue Eyes]

I know I'm only thirteen, but I think I've truly found my soulmate. We both love each other...with an undying love. We've made promises to meet when we die, and we can spend hours on messenger just...talking about why we love each other so much. We're 500 miles apart. I'm in Maryland, she's in Toronto, Ontario. But...this is so pure. I don't want anything from her. I just want to be there for her. We met over the web, because as kids do, we roleplayed, and we were both good writers...so we got to know each other. She's a day older than me, and we both have very similar personalities and histories. We've seen pictures of each other. I recently tried to commit suicide, and that's when we both admitted to it, and now...she's all that matters. I've found my soulmate. I don't feel a normal romantic attachment to her. I feel...like we are the same person. This is real, true love...not romantic, but something else, something more...and I know we are soulmates. But what happens now? What do you do when you find the perfect person? All we can do is talk, since we're so far apart...but I feel so different now. All I care about is her. And she says the same about me. What do I do?

[enadevoli]

well, i have to say that you are young & there are many girls out there. i wouldnt assume that she is the one right now. just take it as it goes. you do talk online & thats where you met, so she might not be who you think she is. you don't really know a person that you met online. she could just be saying all this stuff so that she seems perfect. i don't want to bust your bubble, but you still have a lot of maturing to do & so does she, so its likely that you & her will be changing a lot over the years. i can say that im not the same person i was when i was 13. so, i think that you shouldnt rush into things. if you two are soulmates, then it will work out. as for now, just keep talking to her & get to know her more. i think thats really all you can do for now.

[Color-Is-Blue]

Ahh puppy love sweetie you both are so young

to get into a serious,committed relationship.Being

in a committed relationship means a lot of

giving and taking and frankly I don't know if you

and your girl have that patience yet to be in a relationship

like that.i'm 25 going out with a 23 year old guy and we both

still have a LOT of growing up to do.go out there and enjoy

your teens because it only comes once in your life,i'm not saying

that you are not allowed to love other ppl but you both are so young

to be in serious committed relationship.GOODLUCK!!

[Blue Eyes]

But...this...this is so real. I don't feel like I could mistake this. I mean, it's possible that she is my soulmate, right? I'm at the point where if she died, I'd kill myself. And I don't think I'm just making a lot out of a little relationship...it just feels so...real. It's very hard to describe. Oh, I have met her once in real life, so I know who she is. We vacationed to Toronto for the holidays and I visited her. Not for long...but it was something.

[kodiakxt]

hehe, sounds good blue eyes

im glad for you, i dont doubt that you feel that way, you just have to realize that 10, 8, 6, even 5 years from now you will have a different personality, just as she will. im not saying you will be completely different, im just saying that a lot of things will have changed with you. your appearance, the way you view things in life, maybe some of your ideals. both of you still have a lot of maturing to do. i dont mean that in a bad way, im 21 years old and i realize that i myself still do also. dont try and rush this or do something drastic to be with her. the best thing you can do, for you AND her, is to just continue as things are right now and see if you and her still feel the way you do way down the road. if you do, then thats great, if you dont, then that shows you that this isnt your soulmate and shes still out there waiting on you. in the meantime though, make sure you go out and party and still hangout and talk to your friends, nobody wants someone that doesnt have a life of there own and hangs around there feet all the time. good luck to ya

[Blue Eyes]

I guess that's the best way to go. I just...can't imagine not loving her. That just seems impossible.

[dfcannon]

Best thing to do is keep her as an online friend, but don't let your chats become your entire social life. Make sure you are very much a part of the "real" world, and when you're old enough, by all means spend quality time with her and get to know her in the 3-dimensional world.

 

There are many limitations to having a friendship on a computer, and one of them is that you can get into this out-of-body spiritual frame of mind that you have, where you are one person and if her body died, you'd kill yours. Do you see that this is a fantasy world you're in, where you can imagine all kinds of things about her that may not be true, and that if you were ever to be with her for real, you'd need to be part of the real world and socialize and work in the real world? In the real world, no two people are ever one or the same, and there are always differences to deal with, so someday you would have to discover these differences in her.

 

I'm saying this because I remember 13 and how easy it was to let imagination and feelings take over. Somehow, you need to separate the real from the imagined, and the best way to do that is to stay grounded in the real.

[Blue Eyes]

I'm trying to stay in the real world...but now I look down on everyone. Talking about little crushes they have, who they think is hot...they have no idea what it is to really love. I can't stand their senseless vandalism, their insults that sting, their brawls for fun. And she doesn't, either. I don't know anyone with a personality or history so similar to mine. We've both gone through the same things. We just...click.

[chamois9]

You know, it is entirely possible that she is your soulmate you can everything in common and believe that if that person disappears from this world then you just couldn't function without them. However, relationships with soulmates still will have their ups and downs. There are so many life factors that can affect relationships in a detrimental way but you know that it is consumate love when you will support each other through struggle and hardship, misunderstandings, small annoyances which will alway creep in at one point or the other.

 

From the sounds of your relationship, you have not fully experienced any of these in order to judge, partly because you are not around each other and partly because you are simply not old enough to have had these responsibilities. You will have so much more to live and as you grow you will shape your point of views and opinions and your coming experiences will shape your own lives. You might find that this person develops perfectly insync with you but unfortunately, more often then not, you find that young teenage relationships remain faithful only for loyalty rather than for true friendship, loveand complete understanding and empathy.

 

Right now I don't question these intense feeling you have, just be sure that if, in time, you don't feel it is how it was, that you don't hold on to something that had drifted a long time ago because you are far too young to commit yourself so strongly. Furthermore, you might find that the relationship is used purely for support and empathy because teenagedom is aturbulent and painful time for most, so you seek comfort and security in each other, once this time passes such support will not be needed and a more mature and responsible support will take its place. Perhaps with this person, perhaps not. The least you can take away from this is a lesson for life and love the most is yet to be seen.

 

All this you have yet to discover so don't rule out all possibilities of routes before you have seen the break in the road, if that makes sense.