Theres no point anymore

[Tr0ubledGuy]

This post is a little long but I had to write this down and hopfully some one could give me some helpful advice

 

Well I have been thinking of death regualrly for about 2 years. In that time there has only been 3 times that I almost did myself in, although I never have phiscally mutalated myself on purpose (wrist cutting etc.).

 

The thing is I don't feel like living any more, I want off this ride and my money back. Truth is although I am not thinking about killing myself, I would be just fine if not releived if I didn't bother waking up tommarow.

 

I am tired of living, I never asked for this life or to be born at all. Most of the time I can repress what I am feeling until I am out of the public eye, but lately I have had trouble keeping my public exterior.

 

My life isn't worth it. I never go out and do anything. I go to school and go home were I am most comfortable. I really have no intrests.

 

My biggest problem however is I can't relate to people. This has always caused me problems since I was younger. I hate being in large crowds of people. I tense up really quickly in such situations. For instance if I get into an elevator with a medium amount of people, or walk down a crowded hall I will tense up and start to twitch. Like my neck will twitch and my head will shake. Not hard to pick out the freak there. Most of the time if I am walking down the hall I will look to the floor or out the windows as I walk by, or just straight ahead. I really have a hard time talking with others, in that I never do, just have no clue. If you can't interact with other people you are only stuck with your own mind and that is a horrible existence.

 

Another thing is I have never had a gf. Not all that hard to see why, but still no comfort. I can't go on for too much longer living like this. I just don't want it.

[crookster_man]

It sounds like you are letting the events in your life control your rather then you control them. It's easy to say life sucks and everything is going down for me. It's much harder to do something about it.

 

I want you to understand this.

 

You are not your mind

You are not your ideas

You are not your beliefs or ideas

They may be your but they are not you.

Your mind is your instrument use it do not let it use you.

 

You are the master of your mind and emotions. You say you have some free time, can you please look over this website link removed It talks about the power of positive thought and affirmations. You hold the ability to change your view of life. Give it a try, what do you have to lose?

 

You are as powerful as you decide to be.

[Vash]

 

I want you to understand this.

 

You are not your mind

You are not your ideas

You are not your beliefs or ideas

They may be your but they are not you.

Your mind is your instrument use it do not let it use you.

 

he's right. the things in your mind are only thoughts of what you can/will do you can change it and mold it to anything you want. if you life is looking down or whatever then find something to keep you motivated or happy. go find the perfect person for you and spend alot of time with that person. dont let life just pass you by, go out and live it

[Mermaid_gurl]

it sounds like your closterphobic (sp?) and thats y crowded places make u uncomfortable. I'm 15 and i have no bf. im sre on will come along. just keep ur hopes up. its odd cuz atour school, the 'freaks' are often some of the coolest ppl. lol. it seems the more independent you seem, the cooler u r. mayb thats just here. ur life will get better. for everything bad, there is something good. you just have to find that something good and hang onto it. as for friends, i find the best way to go about it is just to b friendly. give a smile, start a convo by mayb saying something about the class or asking if the person next to u heard what the teacher just said. only you can help improve your world. dont give up.. keep trying. good luck.