I don't know my personality

[thirdeye]

I am feeling like someone who doesn't know what and who am I? On most occasions I feel that I am not living life like how I am supposed to live. I don't know how I am supposed to live. There is a thought in me that my life is controlled by others and other external factors. On a lot of occasions my wife controls my life. She is not doing it badly but I feel that I am much better than that. My mind is filled with worries about the future and my past records scare me about the future. When I decide to do something about it , it just doesn't stay in my mind for a longer period. I again go back to my shell.

Right from my job to the way I live I am totally uncertain about what I need.

I am unable to decide for myself. My track record on decision making has been horendous. My confidence level is low. I lack skills and don't know how to develop them .

I try to write a journal to keep track of things , but after a couple of days it just vanishes. I have managed my finances poorly and in a very disorganised manner. I always defer credit card payments and insurance premiums though I have the money to pay them on time and finally end up paying the fine.

I defer reading, working on something which is good for me. There is a huge package of bad habits and bad feelings. I am waiting for the time to change and that never has never come.

I just need to get rid of them.

I need your help and suggestions for the same.

I would like to have a friend/guide here whom I want to report to. People have told me that I could treat my wife as someone who can monitor my progress. But I am unable to treat her that way. Obviously she wants me to grow but assumes a lot of things.

So is there someone whom I can tell the good things I did everyday and report to them about my progress and who can guide me about life.

Sorry if I have bored you.

[anya1607307555]

hey thirdeye,

 

I think there are many people here who can empathise with you, myself included. I'd definitely suggest reading and posting any questions, however repetitive, you have here. or keep that journal on here?

 

there are many posters here who have long since mastered self-discipline, who you could quietly observe and from whom you may learn how best to handle some of the problems you're experiencing.

 

I believe, if you continue searching as you are, you will find that you already possess much of what it takes to overcome your problems.

[allroundsuccess]

Hi thirdeye,

 

The universe is showing you the mirror of your life to you. You have a great opportunity to change so that the reflection in the mirror is likeable. It will not be an easy task because I think you will need to work physically, mentally, emotionally, perhaps even spiritually if you are into that.

 

The good thing is that there are many resources available: books, audio tapes, seminars etc. Also you need to associate more with people who are positive and have a great self-esteem. You become the type of a person you interact with.

 

I personally am very big into living an inspired life and having success at all levels, financial, physical, mental etc. I subscribe to a service on the Internet that gives me access to hundreds of videos in areas of finance, relationships, self-esteem and inspired living. Email me at email removed if you are interested. I am only sharing this information with you because I think it will be really helpful to you in getting your life back to its greatness once again.

 

Vishal G.