I feel used...help?

[xxYoure My Butterflyxx]

Hi guys.

 

Quick background: ex broke up with me in december last year, after over a year together. Doing great in the healing, even getting to know other guys!

 

I had been sort of 'seeing' (I guess you could call it) this guy for a couple of weeks now. I thought it was going ok, we were getting to know each other, and I was finally taking postive steps in moving on from my ex, and opening myself up to the idea of dating again. He has been broken up from his ex for a few/many months now, and she was the dumper.

 

Last night, this guy sent me a text and told me his ex had heard about us, rang him up and got cranky with him. He said "she got cranky with me, so yeah, I'll stop texting you now, sorry". He had said before, how much he had been looking forward to getting to know me, and then with one phone call from his ex, he's thrown in the towel, and that's it. It's ended before it even really began.

 

Because I haven't known him for all that long, I'm not devastated. Sure, I'm a little disappointed (having it right there, and then snatched away before I could blink) but I just feel so used! Like he was only doing it to try and get a reaction from his ex, or to make her jealous! And when he got the reaction, he didn't need me anymore - he'd gotten his ex to contact him, he'd gotten a reaction from her, and that's all he wanted. I don't think he's over his ex yet.

 

I was talking to a friend about it today, and she'd been talking to some other girls, and it turns out he'd been texting 5 other girls PLUS me. 6 girls! And 4 of those other girls were friends with his ex. I had no idea! I don't know if his ex knows about the other 5 girls, but she knows about me.

 

I haven't heard from him, or contacted him since he texted me last night, but I want to tell him that I don't appreciate him using me to get to his ex. He shouldn't play with a girls emotions unless he is actually ready to be getting involved with someone new - I mean, who does that?? I'm not sure what he'd been saying to the other girls, (whether he was just chatting to them, or whether he was giving them the same lines he'd been giving me) but I feel so stupid for thinking he was interested in getting to know me. He seemed like such a nice guy.

 

What do you think I should say to him?

 

Thanks for reading

[pacodemil]

Don't waist your time he sounds like a real ass anyways.

[alphaflake]

it's a ridiculous situation, he was being a * * * * * to get himself somewhere.

let it go.. no one needs someone who is using them as a crutch or stepping stone. even if he seemed nice, ulterior motives can provoke that.

[xxYoure My Butterflyxx]

Yeah, he is, but I just want him to know he hasn't gotten away with it. Especially now I know about the other girls.

 

I just want to let him know how angry I am that he played me - after being so excited about getting to know me, being really sweet, and really into spending time with me.

[Jess...]

even if he seemed nice, ulterior motives can provoke that.

 

I agree with this. He might very well be a nice guy, we don't know him - but then again, neither do you really... He was a bit of a...bonehead...doing what he did, but did you consider he may not be over his ex when you first agreed to see him? It may have been months, but the time varies for everyone - some people take years to be fully "ok".

 

I'm not trying to put you down or anything - it can be impossible to tell, and it's not exactly the sort of thing you ask when first getting to know someone, so I understand. I guess without actually asking point blank "are you over yor ex" you would really have no way of knowing.

 

And you don't know exactly what he was saying to the other girls - he could very well have just been chatting to them as friends. I don't think I'd send him anything until you know for sure that you weren't the only one he was stringing along.