Feeling like a softy

[ftheunion]

I forgot what kissing is like. I see it often at the mall (I work security) and see those couples as I rove around all afternoon/evening.

 

Earlier this week I saw my latest crush (she wasn't interested) with a guy. The next day saw the one and only ex from forever-a-go also with a guy. I got over the heart strings vibrating pretty quick cause I'm always on the move and I am surprised I felt so little lasting affect.

 

 

I heard this song playing inside the mall a few nights ago, "Linger" by The Cranberries and it was pretty much empty around 930pm and felt those emotions comeing on with a little loneliness, which caused me downloaded it and my emotions are going cause am listenig to it right now.

 

Mostly just romanticism taking over my feelings. That romanticism art is kinda nice, and surreal like a dream. Makes me tear up way back behind the eyes.

 

As you know from other threads about my past I missed out on that kissing and highschool fun as I was a loner kinda and still not anything as sociable like in that song.

 

Dunno. Good night. More rant/vent/rambling/release of cheesy stuff. I don't care for valentines day. This next coming up valentines day I will most likely be working 4pm to midnight. Probably. I am going to listen to hardcore brutal/technical death metal before to kill all feelings before going to work.

 

Seeing it doesn't bother me, I'm glad it is still happening with all the games involved with dating, but thats just nature stuff. I dunno.

 

I feel lovesick when I hear these types of songs.

[pacodemil]

Your not a softy. Your just emotional. I think everyone gets like that at times. Don't give up. Life is young. Enjoy it while you can but don't take it for granted. Make the best of what you have in life and good things will come your way.

[Dako]

If brutal hardcore death metal helps, maybe you're just denying your vulnerability. It's perfectly normal to want affection and warmth, and it's more likely to happen when you open up to it.

[istillluvu06]

The Cranberries "Linger"

Good song. Don't feel bad about what you feel deep down inside. It seems somehow everywhere we look someone else is happier, or in a relationship etc.

I missed out on my high school years totally.

Sometimes we avoid things because we are afraid of rejection, you have already planned valentines day?

Like Dako said maybe trying to be more open to it, others sense your standoffishness. You build a wall and nobody will ever be able to get in.

[ftheunion]

would like so many more responses. Thanks for reading. PM me if you like.

 

I guess I am as far a way from being with a woman as I always was. I felt closer a few times, but that was but an illusion. I am thinking it might really take me pursuing and bothering. A new guy just a week longer than me has the gift of gab and I dunno how he did it, but after hanging around this kiosk a bunch he is now tapping this chick. She didn't look interested at all the whole time I observed him chatting at her. I dont get it.

[hk87]

Go out, meet people, just be yourself.

 

I like guys who are willing to show a side to them that isn't all tough. As long as they are constantly needing attention, I think its cute.

 

Romantic stuff doesn't happen to me very often, and I get jealous of others who seem to have it all the time too

 

Hoping to meet someone sometime though, its all you can do.

 

Hk87