Don't know what to say to my wife

[esmkjm]

I am new at this so bear with me. I have been married to my wife for 2 years now and we have hit a road block in our communication. We use to talk for hours at a time. Now my wife feels that I don't want to talk to her about her. I have asked her what she means and I dont seem to understand where she is coming from. I want to talk to her but it always seems to end up with us fighting and I am tired of fighting and I know she is. So if anyone knows of any topics of conversation that would be good for me to talk to my wife about that would interest her please let me know. Thanks for the advice in advance.

[Waiting for burn to end]

Well, spice up the relationship a little, maybe bring home some science experiment that might bring a little laugh or giggle. Maybe set up a giant scavenger hunt that ends at your house where you have cooked her dinner. Maybe give her something completely unexpected. Use your imagination, make her realize again why you two got married. If yall are bored its probably because yall have fallen into set patterns, mix it up a bit, show her why yall got married, let her know you still care and you are willing to do anything to prove it. If you have a fear of heights and she doesn't, take her sky diving, or something, I think you get the idea. Women love adventure, and if you can show her something she hasn't seen before or at least in a while, the old romance will shine its light again.

[Gilgamesh]

Its a bad thing when communication breaks down, it doesnt look like you shut down, it seems she just wants the "magic" she once remembered, the problem that magic is not really all about what you did, but how she felt, its not that your not saying the right things, it seems she has lost that romance and passion.

 

When love is fresh, you can talk about the silliest things, and its all good. because of what being felt inside. so she is blaming you for her lack of interest.

 

If her heart is not in it, then it really doesnt matter what you do or say, she will just twist it any way she wants and make it a negative. but you need to give it a try, dont give up yet.

 

Like "Waiting for the burn" said you need to do things out of the ordinary, make life exciting, go out on an adventure, go to hedonism in Jamaica and make love on the beach, that kind of stuff. take her out to dinner, send her a snail mail letter with romantic words.

 

Role play, write a little note, tell her to dress up sexy and meet you in a designated area, then when you see her at that place, act like a stranger and try and pick her up, you can even use corny pick up lines, make it fun. then take her dancing, flirt with her like you would a new girl you just met, drink champagn, seduce her! then take her to a motel/hotel and make love to her all night the way she likes.

 

If nothing works, then im sorry, shes put you out to pasture in her heart, and thats a sad thing, because no one should live life unhappy.

[Princess777]

Hello,

 

I had to reply to this because a male friend of mine tried to explain to me that men think differently than women in the way that men are basically incapable of processing thoughts the way a woman does.... mostly emotions.... and it made perfect sense to me and it helped me so much in my relationship with my husband... Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, you probably won't be able to understand where she's coming from initially, and it's hard for her to explain it... I've felt like this with my husband too... many times I don't understand why in the heck he's so insensitive or doesn't know how to relate to my feelings. So, my advice is, be honest with her, sit her down, tell her that you wish you could understand where she's coming from, and how she's hurting right now, and ask her something like, "What can I do to make things better, what can I do to help us get back what we had, and how can I show you the love that I'm feeling... how can I make you realize how much I love you?" I'm sure she will respond favorably if you look her in the eyes when you say these words.... and mean them. Just knowing that you WANT to better things is a wonderful feeling, take it from a married woman!... Good luck... hopefully she'll open up and tell you what's up.

Princess777

[sisterlynch]

A lot of times when there is a break down in communication, it is because her mind is on someone else. If the two of you are fighting about communication issues, this often is the case. So look out carefully for yourself, see if there are lapses in where she's been, who she was with, etc.

 

Like a child, make sure that you know where she is at all times.

 

You could ask her if she is seeing someone else, but she probably won't answer that one well either. If you are suspecting the same thing, but are afraid to mention it, hire a private investigator, or do it yourself.