Reached 30 today and under achieved so much

[thirdeye]

I completed 30 years of life today. It feels like a landmark. But if I look back I have underachieved so much. I have been so casual and careless most of the time. I was never a great kid and neither turned into a great man.

Wasted so much of time when it was important for me to concentrate on studies. Wasted time and energy on a stupid girl because of which I lost money, energy and time. In a job which is unchallenging and which has made me lose confidence. It has pushed me into a negative comfort zone.

I can't attend interviews with confidence and hence I am unable to shift to a better and more challenging job. My character is not bad as I always try to help out others. A lot of people take me for granted.

So first 30 yrs of my life has been bad in a lot of ways.

I want to change. I need to transform.

I want to communicate better, I want to go in for a better paying and challenging job. I want to achieve something big. I want people to respect me. There are some bad habits I want to eliminate.

How do I go about my life so that I can change?

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

You could start setting small goal for yourself. Enjoy the real feel of accomplishment when you achieve your goal. This will push you to keep on going.

[CandyKins]

Aw you poor thing.

 

You want to make things happen then summon up all your will and make it happen. Don't treat it lightly, treat it firmly and seriously then you will achieve something. Don't think negatively of yourself if you do then kill it instantly. Think positively of yourself not in an egotistical way but in a genuine way. Change your unchallenging job and hunt until you get a job which has a challenge to it, a job that you like. When you apply for the job interviews it's important to dress decently, be positive about yourself, smile it will give a good effect and be kind.

 

Don't worry about lovelife too much, once you get a job that you like many doors will open for you. Believe in yourself!

[Honesty]

Well, I sympathize with how you feel.

 

But are you aware that if you keep dwelling on the past you will be looking back in another 30 years when you're 60 thinking again of all the things you should've done.

 

You need to forget the past. You can't change it.

 

There must be some fire in you..some drive..what are you passionate about? What inspires you? What are you HERE for? That's what you need to discover. Stop thinking about the past and look forward. What's happened has happened..focus on life and how great it can be for you. Hard to believe..but it can. But essentially, only you can make it great.

[Dako]

Your past isn't your future, so what are you doing tomorrow?

You could search for classes or training to add skills, study the job market for opportunities, help a friend or family member solve real problems, do some fianancial planning or improve your health.

 

Just two hours on one of these thngs might change your outlook.

[WaterIsLife]

I think the most important step is hitting this moment of clarity that you have. Being able to look within and look at yourself objectively. The sort of self-realization can be a bi**h. It is also so very important though for growth and happiness.

 

Look at how you define yourself (i.e. by work?). Ask yourself if this is how you want to identify yourself. I think many of us would like to define ourselves by several aspects of our life, but "forget" to do so.

 

Start by taking the time to do one thing each day that makes you happy. Make the time to read a little. Go for a walk in a park. Get exercise. Engage in a hobby that you've not been making time for in the past.

 

The key is making YOU happy.

[RandomGuy78]

Don't be so down on yourself. Some people don't realize who they are, what they want to do until they're in their 40s, 50s, or 60s!

[coyotesmile]

Hello,

And Congratulations, 30.

"If I could turn back time".....as Cher sang once.

I understand the feelings, I have surpassed you in age, and totally understand where you are coming from.

 

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. ~Henry David Thoreau, 1854

 

One day at a time. Read THE PRECIOUS PRESENT, you can stand in one sitting at the bookstore and read it, you will love it.

 

I have many stoies that I could share, and if I was to try to "sum" up my life as to what I have "achieved" as far as fame, an outstanding (not) wonderful high paying job. I could come up with lots of reasons to get down on myself.

Each day, find ONE small thing that made whatever you did in the day, as your personal challenge. What made you feel good about today? It is YOUR private thought, for we have to create our world. Even as I say this, I am still learning.

The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. ~David Frost

 

Try a new class in something, it may bring you a challenge.

*smiles to you*

[thirdeye]

Thanks everyone for your valuable time and advice.

 

I have tried to follow a strict routine where I worked out, tried improving my skills, tried meditation etc. But then laziness creeps in, procastination walks in and I am back to sqaure 1. I always think that I need to think positive. But it never happens.

I am not a major failure. I am not worried about my ex girl friend. I am not worried about getting a new girl friend. I am married already. But professionally I am way below where I actually should have been. I had excellent opportunities. My problem always was to do with completion of task that I undertake. When I sit down to update a new skill, I just drop it off after a while and will never look at it again.

I need a good mentor who can guide me and advice me.

 

How do I find one?

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

May be employ a career coach?

[WaterIsLife]

Thats a good idea.

 

Is there a way to find out what paths others in your field take? Maybe a lateral change would be good?

[astatine]

I am not a major failure. I am not worried about my ex girl friend. I am not worried about getting a new girl friend. I am married already. But professionally I am way below where I actually should have been.

 

Well what is success to you? Professionally, where do you think 'you should be'. This isn't necessarily what you should then pursue, but it is a start in formulating goals and developing ambition. Having that empty feeling like 'I feel I should be doing something more important" can be both a positive and negative thing. It can be positive in that it can motivate you to work towards new goals. It can also be a negative situation in which you are never happy with what you have. I can understand the feeling though perhaps in a different sense. I am well educated and have high paid job offers but where you are already married, I sometimes think I never will be. My step-sister who is a year older than I (I am 22) is already married and I am completely inexperienced in relationships and currently single. Every morning I wake up and feel like an absolute failure because of this, but I like to think that I can and will succeed.

 

As for career coach, you have the most powerful tool of all: google. Any information in the real world can be found here if you have at least some idea of what you're looking for. Even with a career coach, you are going to be the one to come up with the ideas, they can provide info but can't make the choices. It's exaclty the same as using the internet, just more expensive. Now I just hope there were no career coaches reading this.