thouse Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 So I posted a few weeks ago about a party that I was going to and that my ex would be there, I was kinda worried about how I would feel when I saw him, but I was actually fine, was cordial to him, and then the rest of the party just mingled with the other people that were there. Anyways at the end of the party he approached me and we talked for awhile. The next day he called and wanted to do breakfast but I had already made plans, so he asked could he drop by later and talk. I said alright and he came over and we just laughed and talked and had a good time like we used to (we have been NC for about 6 weeks, had been together for almost 4 years.) Anyhow at the end of the conversation he says "I think I made a bad decision" and I didn't know what to say to that so I said nothing. So I guess what I want to know is what do you guys think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpid223 Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Well im assuming this is him wanting you back, so the real question is do YOU want him back? If you guys split, it was for a reason so I think you should take a real good look at the person he is and see if he's changed for the better. I wouldn't hop back into it unless you work out the kinks that made you two separate, otherwise itll happen again. Its really up to you and what you want, so whatever decision you make I hope the best for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zackinlaw Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 If you guys split, it was for a reason so I think you should take a real good look at the person he is and see if he's changed for the better. I wouldn't hop back into it unless you work out the kinks that made you two separate, otherwise itll happen again. This is absolutely true. The only thing i would change about it is the assumption that getting together is dependent on him having changed (unless the breakup would be seen as clearly his fault by an outside observer). I would simply go with the part in bold above instead. Zack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted October 16, 2007 Author Share Posted October 16, 2007 Well we separated for two reasons. One because he is a friend of the family and he felt that they would always be interfering in our relationship because when they found out we were dating they weren't happy. Two because he said that he wasn't ready to commit. For me all of it hinges on him changing his perspective on number 2. I could care less about what my family thinks about it (I am not speaking about my mom and dad but others) because they have always been a bit envious of me and my sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summerpeach Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 I was with my ex for 11 yrs, he left me for another girl, he came back saying the same thing, I took him back and 2 months into it, he left me for the same girl I say GO WITH CAUTION!!! If he thought he made a mistake, why didn't he call you to tell you this? Why did he wait to see you? Would he have contacted you had he not seen you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted October 16, 2007 Author Share Posted October 16, 2007 Yeah he would have because we were doing LC but I found it hard to do, so I cut him off totally, and made it a point to never run into him. However I am not taking what he said as him wanting to come back and what's weird is my feelings for him aren't as strong as they used to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lissa23 Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 I say take your time. My ex and I have only been broken up for little over 2 weeks. I know that a lot of our problems was in him (he couldn't find balance, he was always stressed and took it out on me, etc). Although I've been put through the hoops even the last couple of months in our relationship I feel a lot stronger than on my own than I have ever thought I'd ever feel. In my opinion, If my ex was to come back to me 6 weeks later and say that he's made a huge mistake - he'd have to prove it. Especially in your case when commitment is an issue. Is he committed to prove to you that he's changed? I know for me although I've been feeling stronger that deep down, it's only been 2 weeks. Is 6 weeks long enough for him to come to his senses and make a commitment to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iarra Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 thouse, He THINKS he made a bad decision. This is just my opinion, but I take it to mean that he's not entirely sure about it. He hasn't outright said that he regrets breaking up with you. But even if he did, these are just words. Like what the others say, he has to prove it with his actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted October 16, 2007 Author Share Posted October 16, 2007 I completely agree, I think this is just his coward way of hinting around to the fact that he may have screwed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mysterygirl Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 awwwe this is such a sweet story. i know the others aren't agreeing with me .. remember the saying "if you love someone set them free, if they come back its meant to be" I say take him back. And enjoy the new found love he has for you now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iarra Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Mysterygirl, It really would be cool if he has some new found love. But how would thouse know? Love isn't just words. Love is backed up by action. Right now, he's doing none of those. All we're saying is for her to be careful. Some of the ex's DO come back, only to leave again. We don't want that to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted October 16, 2007 Author Share Posted October 16, 2007 MysteryGirl, Also he never said he wanted to come back, I just think that the fabulous NC has made him question his decision and he was at that moment thinking outloud. However I am not the lovesick girl I used to be and I think he senses that, also I am dating other men and he knows that for a fact so he will definitely have to do and say more than he thinks he made a bad decision. He also told me that he is still in love with me and cares about me but really what does that change about our situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Hey thouse You are right - he never actually said he wanted back. You have come a long way - in your own words - you are no longer that lovesick girl you used to be - and he senses that. Sometimes, people do make the biggest mistakes of their lives - but what are they going to do about it? Keep on keeping on - look out for you now and take what he says with a pinch of salt. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thouse Posted October 16, 2007 Author Share Posted October 16, 2007 Clabs, There are definitely things that he could do to change the situation the question is does he want to. Thing is I am not going to wait around to find out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 I think you are right - don't hang about - he is not worth your time and energy. Work on you now - you are what is important now - he is just a - a memory. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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