bubbamackdaddy69 Posted October 21, 2003 Author Share Posted October 21, 2003 Thanks, I agree with most of what you've said. But do you think I should change the locks and my phone number? I mean I still love her and do not hate her? She calls once a week and still hurts a bit because she is still with that new guy but she doesn't harass me or anything? Shouldn't I just send her stuff back , with flowers after and then just move on with my life and see what happens then.?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kseyerlein Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 My husband did that and came home one day after about a year after being divorced which he never wanted and she had the keys to the apartment at that time and cleaned the whole apartment out except for his bedroom furniture and his clothes. So even if you don't hate her you still don't know her well enough that she was able to start seeing a guy one week after your break up. Chances are she met this guy at least once before you broke up. Even if it was just him asking her out. So why are you giving her so much power over your life and setting yourself for more heart ache. We have a name for guys who let themselves be pushed around "saps" Don't be one and don't become one it is not worth your self respect and happiness. Get on with your life. She has gone on and is only in touch with you to see how much she still can get away with and pull your strings. Where is she from anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted October 21, 2003 Author Share Posted October 21, 2003 Wow that is a big step.. Changing all the locks...but maybe you're right and analyse it later on.. We are both from Toronto, she leaves on the east side about 20 min drive away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kseyerlein Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Security, Safety, and peace of mind are very valuable. Also you don't know who it is she is seeing now and if he has a hidden jealous streak. she may leave her key to your place in a opportuned place and you never know what this guy will do. So always keep yourself safe. Then keep those you love and care about safe as best you can if they let you. That is the bast you can do. Everyone has free will, free choice and you have to live with your choices as well as theirs. Sometimes it hurts but we have to go on. I lost a love to a drunk driver when I was in highschool. I actually saw him get hit. He was 18. I thought I would never find anyone to love me like he did. I was 16 then. It took me 20 years to find the man I am happy to say is my husband. It took me that long to wake up, heal, and get on with life. It took my husband 3-4years. We are thankful we have each other now and we always hope others don't have to suffer but life has it's moments and we have to grow beyond them and gain our hope, happiness, and gain a love that is pure again sometimes. Let her do the analysis. you've done your share. It is time to go on and gain those things that you haven't done in quite a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted October 22, 2003 Author Share Posted October 22, 2003 I appreciate all the advice you have given me, I really do. This was my first live-in girlfriend break up ever. My longest relationship before my 3 year one was only 1 year. This was the most serious, we lived together for 2.5 and she loved my family and they loved her as I did with her family. We've had our ups and downs but now I just gotta move on and hope for the best. She was a big Dixie Chicks fan and everytime I listen to the song "Fly" from them it makes me think of her thinking of me in that sense that she has tried alot in the past butt I was always too stubborn to realize our relationship needed my attention. We live and learn... Like many people say and I believe it.... If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you then it's yours............ Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kseyerlein Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 I believe in letting things go but my husband and I believe that no one owns anyone so it is best to say that we consent to share everything with each other and remain friends, lovers, partners, and co-workers in our relationship. If she comes back then you both should have a long hard look at being friends first and working on what issues bothered both of you. Then and only then will both be happy. You both needed something or you wouldn't be apart right now. Communication is also a key element. Take care and we hope you gain happiness, peace of mind, and a full heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted October 22, 2003 Author Share Posted October 22, 2003 Thanks again.. Communication wasn't our strong point.. Well mine at least.. I had a hard time opening up to her or anyone. I guess I'll have to learn how eventually... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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