cattie Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 i'm chinese,i met a french guy online and he works and lives in shanghai where i live.we met in person,he asked to be my bf,both we were very happy together,but one day he asked me why i would agree to date him?was that because he was foreigner and rich?he did not like to pay all ,we should split bill. but in china,men used to paying all,so i really ignored of that.sometimes men would be angry if women pay the bill in china. so what does he mean?it's common or test my love or something else? please give me your suggestion,maybe i'm chinese,i don't really know your culture. thanks. plus .he told me that i should not think too much about the future,what he means? Link to comment
Snoopy24 Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 How long have you been dating? Well in most cases, the first few dates it's common for the men to pay for all the bill..and then you should tak turns or spit it occasionally. He might think you just like him for his money, which can cause him to take a step back in the relationship. Maybe explain to him how things are in your culture, and talk to him about if he does want a future with you. That statement seems like he doesn't want to get too serious. I would just sit down and talk to him and ask him what he wants. Link to comment
OOHMY Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 He says, don't think about the future, because he wants you to keep things open. He doesn't want you to immediately see this as a serious relationship. He doesn't quite see a future with you right now or that he just doesn't want you to get ahead of yourself. For one, rich men have the tendency to think most females just want their money. Sometimes they want to spend all their money on a female and sometimes they want to have equality. This guy wants equality, like you pay for yours and his for his. Or just split things. He doesn't want you to be self absorbed into his money, he wants you to like him for who he is. He may know that in China men pay for everything, but he wants you to know that hes not going to spoil you like that. Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Ok, the way I read you post is that you were going out for a while, then one day he says, "why are you dating me", and "you pay half the bill" and "don't think too much about the future". It sounds like he is dumping you. Sorry. Link to comment
cattie Posted October 10, 2007 Author Share Posted October 10, 2007 i have been chatted with him for 3 months and then we met in person.we have been meeting for another 3 month since first time we met in person.i told him i did not know him well now,he's kinda stranger for me now,i wanna know his past,and asked him if he had chinese gf before,he told me he had before he knew me,and it was last for several months when he was in another city in china,he has been totally living in china for 9 months,but i did not ask how did they know each other.he told me he never met anyone online before.he recently did not reply me as soon as i greet him,before he sent me message each morning,afternoon,evening and night.but he did not do that again,always told me he was so busy,no time .i asked him to tell me directly,if he got another girl,he did not answer me just told me he did not understand?what he's going on?i don't really understand him now,and he asked me to be nature with him?what's that mean?he told me that when he was with me,he always wanned to kiss me,but i usually turned into another way,so that he thinks i am not nature with him . should i still date him? Link to comment
OOHMY Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Ok, the way I read you post is that you were going out for a while, then one day he says, "why are you dating me", and "you pay half the bill" and "don't think too much about the future". It sounds like he is dumping you. Sorry. Hm, thats very true. Hes trying to give her hints that he doesn't want to see her, wow, good thinking! MOVE ON. Link to comment
cattie Posted October 10, 2007 Author Share Posted October 10, 2007 i don't really know,i never asked his family,i even did not know what his work exactly.and he has been only working for 9 months,6 months on internship,i don't really think he's rich,if i wanna find someone who's rich.should be quite easy.but i don't wanna,i just want to have a real love,so i feel so sad after hearing that from him.i am a sentive gal.i hope i can trust him,i hope what he said did not have too much other meaning.just nature.just show what he thinks.maybe the exotic is really not so easy.we have too much different culture. Link to comment
cattie Posted October 10, 2007 Author Share Posted October 10, 2007 really?but why he doesn't tell me directly?i prefer he'd tell me clearly. what should i ask to make everything'c clear? or should i just leave it? Link to comment
OOHMY Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 You know what, I think he may have found someone else and is letting you down easy, or at least trying to. Hes not talking to you as much, well hey, hes talking to someone else than? Link to comment
OOHMY Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 really?but why he doesn't tell me directly?i prefer he'd tell me clearly. what should i ask to make everything'c clear? or should i just leave it? Just leave it, hes making it cloudy that he does not want to speak to you so much, hes not good at confrontation. Just don't push it and let it be. Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 thanks,i will. Then again, these are just suggestions. We could be wrong. Don't make any major decisions based on what you read here... Link to comment
cattie Posted October 10, 2007 Author Share Posted October 10, 2007 Then again, these are just suggestions. We could be wrong. Don't make any major decisions based on what you read here... thanks again.all your suggestion is very helpful. Link to comment
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