Anon333 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Brief background I have been in a relationship in the last two months that started off as a breath of fresh air, and wonderful...We got along unbelievably great and clicked right away....I have posted here a few times about how he has OCD, which in the beginning, when he told me, did not seem as bad. The more I saw how it affected him and how it affected me, and realized the seriousness of it, the more I was concerned about the relationship, however my feelings had already grown to love/care for this person.... Earlier this week we got in argument about him not having a job and working on getting better with his OCD (Monday)....He had also been drinking the whole night with his buddy, and met up with mr for lunch still drunk from the night before..It seems things seemed to just add up and upset me more and more...After the argument, I didnt hear from him for almost two days straight..he ignored my texts and phone calls.....I even texted him that the more he ignored me like this the more he was just pushing me away...(We had been in constant contact phoning and texting eachother for two months up until this point, so this was a big blow to me). I finally texyed him that I cant do this anymore, and that I couldnt be with him, that I am so hurt by his ignoring me and hurting me like this.... I finally got a text from him the next day saying how sorry he was, he was on a drinking binge, and he doesnt know what is wrong with himself, and I am too good for him and he loves me....etc, etc.....Ugh....He said he was feeling really really ill, and that there was blood in his urine.....I told him to go to the doctors immidiately..His texts were still patchy and upsetting me, as I was very concerned for his health. Yesterday he texted me from the doctors office, saying they were testing his blood and that he did not pee blood this moring, but he is being checked out..I told him to tell me ASAP when he finds out anything.....He has not texted or called me back since then.....I am so upset and mad at him, and yet worried he is in the hospital..I do not have any of his friends or families numbers, and I have been calling him and texting him since yesterday......I texted him that if he is okay and he is just not texting me back for some reason that I was going to kill him....It looks like he checked his texts I sent him. I drove by his house and his car was not there...Im so upset as to whether to be mad or worried.....If I find out he just was flaky and his phone ran out of batteries or something stupid like that happened, I feel like never talking to him again...But it breaks my heart....Sorry this is so long..But this is a really difficult situation...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
free2Bme Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 It sounds to me that you are putting a lot of pressure on him. You have only been together 2 months. You say you got into an argument about him not having a job and him getting better with his ocd. Was this argument because you WANT him to get a job? And are you annoyed / upset that his ocd is NOT getting better? Don't try to change him, lay off a little would be my advice. If you are doing the above, and then hounding him with text after text then he probably feels quite overwhelmed, and saying you will kill him if he is fine and just hasn't told you? That's not going to make him want to reply. I would stop texting and calling and let him come to you, he is obviously not well. and OCD is not curable over night, had he been to therapy yet? Hang in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spinstermanquee Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Anon, sorry to hear you are being disappointed by someone who you have recently gotten close to. I know you must have expected things to turn out better than this. It's a REALLY good thing he is doing this NOW and not later into the relationship (like heaven forbid after marriage and kids). Drinking binges, no job (where does he get the money to drink for days if he doesn't have a job?) and what appears to be a ploy for sympathy (and could very well be a lie). We all get fooled once in a while, don't feel bad. Cut your losses and move on because this one may have won you over for a little while, but now the horizon is full of losing... this will only get worse. Good luck my dear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 Gosh...The difficult part is I agree with both of your responses and that is why I am kinda torn....I agree that I might have overstepped my line by giving him a hard time about not having a job, and getting help with his OCD, but it also feels like he makes alot of excuses that dont add up..He can use his parents money to go out drinking and bowling when I am working every day, and one of the things that made my day at work enjoyable was getting little texts from him and calling him on my lunch break..And now he is suddenly on a drinking binge and ignoring any phone calls or texts.....? If anything, I really do feel like I will kill him if he tells me he is at the doctors and peeing bllod, and then never calls me back...Even a good friend would be inconsiderate to make me worry like that and then not tell me what is going on....If I find out he is just freaked out by me, or just didnt call me back because of any excuse besides that he was in the hospital..I thin kI need to cut him out of my life for a bit.....I dunno....Thank you so much for your responses.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 If, on the other hand, he is in the hospital, I would be the first one by his side...I just want to know he is okay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
free2Bme Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 If the OCD is a big thing for you, and it does bother you, then I would worry a bit, because even when he gets help, it's going to be a long uphill struggle, think about whether you are prepared to be understanding, and not confrontational towards him when it comes to discussing his OCD. OCD can be verry stressful and can make someone very selfish, so some of his other behavioural tendancies, although not directly a symptom of OCD, could actually stem off from it. Perhaps him having a drink was his way of numbing out the OCD, and forgetting about the argument he had with you. But yeah, if he's ok, he should let you know really, and he is being selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings if this is the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
free2Bme Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 If, on the other hand, he is in the hospital, I would be the first one by his side...I just want to know he is okay! Do you think his car would have been gone if he was in hospital? Do you get delivery reports for your text messages? I don't think his phone would be on if he was in hospital. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spinstermanquee Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Just curious, do you live in the US? Does he have health insurance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 free3beme...Thanks again for your response....I made it clear to him that the OCD was definitely a concern, and that I dont think we could ever take the relationship to another level if he didnt work on getting better...But part of what frustrates me, is I feel like he has given in to this disorder... I know OCd drives him crazy, but I also know he enjoys not working and living off of his parents money...(who wouldnt)... My dilemma is how much of it is the OCD, and how much of it is him just giving in and being selfish or lazy? I told him that I did not break up with him because of his OCD, that was simply an issue I hoped us to continue discussing if issues arise...T he bigger issue is him going off on a binge, completely ignoring me for three days (I was extending an olive branch saying I didnt want us to fight), and now he has left me a nervous wreck worrying whether he is deathly ill.....I dunno...I am beginning to wonder if I will ever hear from him again..and if I do..I really dont know what to say..I am pissed he sabataged our relationship.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 free2beme..I think his car would be gone, if he drove to the doctors yesterday and ended up going straight to the hospital.....But you are right, it seems he checked my text around 7 in the morning this moring...Maybe he had just gotten back from the hospital? I have no clue.....He usually sleeps till 11 or noon on most days..... Wendy, he does have health insurance, but minimal insurance that does not cover psychiatric visits (this is what he said)....I think he visits a therapist once in awhile and his parents pay for visits and medication (which he just started again about a month ago).... On another note..I am leaving the end of December, so I just thought we would enjoy eachother's company up until then, and we would stay in touch and perhaps meet up again in the future..But we wanted to make the most of our time together until then.,..I figured it would be easier to take issues in our relationship lighter, but I guess I was mistaken... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
free2Bme Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 On another note..I am leaving the end of December, so I just thought we would enjoy eachother's company up until then, and we would stay in touch and perhaps meet up again in the future..But we wanted to make the most of our time together until then.,..I figured it would be easier to take issues in our relationship lighter, but I guess I was mistaken... erm.....oh....if this is the case, I really wouldn't bother if I was you, sorry hun but it does not sound like you are having any fun at all, and it is getting too full on to be just a short term thing. You might be doing yourself a favour just ending it now rather than enduring any more if you're not in it for the long run. Hope that doesn't sound too harsh xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 not too harsh..I think it is a good thing the relationship would be ending in December, because I dont see mayself being able to be with someone who has such a bad case of OCD....But I really was enjoying all the time I was spending with him up until now....And then this happened, and I realized I didnt want to be investing any more of myself and getting hurt before I leave if he isnt even able to be consistant and be the sweet loving person he was up until last week.... It is painful to think of loosing him..I really felt good about someone for the first time, but I know it would be more painful the longer I draw it out.....Thanks again free2beme... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 okay,...he just texted me after all this and said he needs to see me and he is on the verge of death...My heart wont stop racing..I told him to tell me what is wrong..I am so freaked out.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 now he said it was a bad combination of his medication and the alcohol...He scared me...He keeps saying he wants to see me and doesnt want to be alone..I am so pissed.....!! Sorry you guys for venting....whoever's reading this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 this whole thing has made me soooo sad..I asked him why he didnt tell me sooner, and that I have been worried sick about him, and his answer was that he is sick and he is like lindsey lohan all messed up (joking around of course, but true in a sick way)...I told him I wasnt laughing and that I can talk to him anymore.....He said he needs me..and I tild him he hurt me too bad, and he said gooodbye my angel....Is this just a total mindf***??!!! I really have to stick to not talking to him...It just isnt right in my opinion....Am I over reacting??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.