thouse Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I have been in NC with my ex for awhile ( I really don't know how long) and have since changed my number so that even if he did want to contact me he couldn't. It also helped me to stop waiting for the phone to ring. Anyhow my cousin is coming home after 8 years of being away and my Aunt is having him a big party Saturday. Everyone will be there including the EX (because he is a close family friend). The dilemma is should I go?? I know that if I don't my cousin will probably be dissappointed and I don't want to seem as if I let the EX run me away from my family, but I know that if I'm there old feelings will resurface. So should I just grit and bare it, or stay away? Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 No better time than the present to start dealing with post married life. It's going to be awkward, and uncomfortable. But you'll get through it. And each time one of these things happens, and you have to be in the same room as the guy, it will get easier. If you don't go, you will always be second guessing yourself, and you will probably be mad at yourself for avoiding it. I hope. It's easy to say it..but at open school night last week when we were both in the same room, first time outside of court, the tension was so thick you could cut the air with a knife. Link to comment
brokedownpalace Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 All depends on where you are emotionally. If you feel you will be worse off by going.. then i would suggest not going. Link to comment
Llon Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I would definitely not go. Seeing him will put you back on the starting block. Tell your cousin that you will buy dinner sometime soon to make up for it. If your ex had any class, he would not go. Definitely do not go and erase all the progress that NC has provided. Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I would definitely not go. Seeing him will put you back on the starting block. Tell your cousin that you will buy dinner sometime soon to make up for it. If your ex had any class, he would not go. Definitely do not go and erase all the progress that NC has provided. How can you say that without knowing how long the NC has been for? Eventually their paths will cross, and she is going to have to deal with it. Sooner or later. Link to comment
thouse Posted October 1, 2007 Author Share Posted October 1, 2007 I would say that we have been NC for about 2 or 3 weeks so really not that long and I know that feelings are still raw probably for the both of us. Not to mention he probably is now aware that I have changed my number so he is probably upset about that. I know I can't avoid him forever because I can't ignore my family forever but I just think it may be too soon I don't know I am confused on one hand, yet I don't want to seem like a coward either. Link to comment
Llon Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I can say that because I could tell by the number of her posts and join date that she was recently broken up. Sometimes we have to put 2 and 2 together. Are you here to critique posts or offer advice? She asked for advice, and based on my experience, it would be better not to see him, in my opinion. What's your issue with this? Yes, eventually, she will have to see him, WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. How can you say that without knowing how long the NC has been for? Eventually their paths will cross, and she is going to have to deal with it. Sooner or later. Link to comment
Idocsteve Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Are you here to critique posts or offer advice? Both. If I see a post I don't agree with, then I will not hesitate to comment on that post. If you can't handle criticism then don't post. If it's only been 3 weeks then I agree with you; it's too soon and the OP should avoid seeing her ex. At least for a few months until emotions settle and become more stable. Link to comment
thouse Posted October 1, 2007 Author Share Posted October 1, 2007 I think the best thing to do would be to not go, even though I feel like he has taken everything from me even my family. That may not be true but that is just way it feels. I just know it will be an awkard situation. Link to comment
Llon Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 This is not a matter of handling criticism. This is a supportive forum. We are here to support one another. If you don't understand that concept, then you don't post. We are not here to criticise one another. Now, lets let the poster have her thread and stay on topic, which is advice for her to handle this difficult situation. Both. If I see a post I don't agree with, then I will not hesitate to comment on that post. If you can't handle criticism then don't post. If it's only been 3 weeks then I agree with you; it's too soon and the OP should avoid seeing her ex. At least for a few months until emotions settle and become more stable. Link to comment
Llon Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 House- Wise choice, in my opinion. Call your cousin and tell them why and that you will make it up to them. I think the best thing to do would be to not go, even though I feel like he has taken everything from me even my family. That may not be true but that is just way it feels. I just know it will be an awkard situation. Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Probobly not a good idea to go. Honestly could only end up being a nightmare, and set you back. It's too soon. I agree with the rest and offer to do something outside of the party with your cousin, I'm sure all will understand. This doesn't make you weak, but is self preservation! Link to comment
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