kekep Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but here goes. Last night I went out with one of my guy friends from high school that I recently reconnected with (let's call him Gary), and I ended up going home with his best friend! Thing is, I have the feeling that Gary kinda sorta likes me, and that this has made him angry at me and his friend. We have gone out together to movies before, and also to dinner, and he has said things to me before that have given me the feeling he is at least somewhat interested. Not trying to flatter myself here, but my instinct is telling me he likes me. Anyway, I'm worried the events of last night will cause some tensions with my friendship with Gary, and also his relationship with his best friend. Is there anything I can do, or should I just lay low until I hear from him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amtjrtcet Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 It probably will cause some tension btwn them, but that's their business. As long as you haven't been giving off the vibe to Gary that you may like him....then all is fair in love and war. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyboy Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 If Gary is interested in you and you are not interested in him, that would have caused some tension in your friendship anyways. You did nothing wrong, let the boys work out their problems (if there are even any to begin with) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenmonster Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 It probably will cause some tension btwn them, but that's their business. As long as you haven't been giving off the vibe to Gary that you may like him....then all is fair in love and war. I agree with this 100% but I would like to add that since you are obviously concerned for "gary" and you don't want to make him mad or hurt him you may want to call him just to talk or something... if he likes you, which is likely, then yes...I'm sure this has caused him some pain and discomfort. but if he hasn't come out and openly stated his feelings for you and you and him actually had "that" talk then he cant stay upset long. and the only person he has to be upset with is himself for not telling you how he feels and laying everything out there and getting it in the open. I have a couple questions if you don't mind: did you have sex with his friend or just end up going home with him? and are you and him going to persue any kind of relationship or fling or anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kekep Posted September 28, 2007 Author Share Posted September 28, 2007 Yes, I slept with his friend, which is another reason I think I am feeling so awful today. We did foreplay for a few hours and eventually went all the way, but the sex part didn't last for long as we both agreed it was not a good idea. We also talked about how awkward it was going to be the next time we saw each other! I was interested in this guy in high school, and I am still attracted to him (obviously), but I don't see a relationship or even a fling evolving from this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenmonster Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 hmm...well that is a sticky situation... do you have any interest other than just friends with Gary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kekep Posted September 28, 2007 Author Share Posted September 28, 2007 no, not interested in Gary like that. he is a great friend, but i'm not physically attracted to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amtjrtcet Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 Yes, I slept with his friend, which is another reason I think I am feeling so awful today. We did foreplay for a few hours and eventually went all the way, but the sex part didn't last for long as we both agreed it was not a good idea. We also talked about how awkward it was going to be the next time we saw each other! I was interested in this guy in high school, and I am still attracted to him (obviously), but I don't see a relationship or even a fling evolving from this. If you 2 like each other why is it going to be awkward? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kekep Posted September 28, 2007 Author Share Posted September 28, 2007 If you 2 like each other why is it going to be awkward? I don't want it to be awkward, but given that we had a one night stand, and we're not in a relationship, I think things are going to be a bit uncomfortable the next time we see one another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenmonster Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 no, not interested in Gary like that. he is a great friend, but i'm not physically attracted to him. I don't want it to be awkward, but given that we had a one night stand, and we're not in a relationship, I think things are going to be a bit uncomfortable the next time we see one another. ok...so what we have here is a pretty simple case....lets sum up the facts for everyone playing along at home... 1. Gary has a friend....we'll call him "Steve" for this story...and they are best friends 2. Gary has a female friend named Kekep....who he has become attracted to in ways other than friendship, maybe. 3. Kekep likes Steve...but only likes Gary as a friend 4. Steve likes Kekep 5. Steve and Kekep hooked up one night while they were both out with Steve. 6. Now Kekep feels guilty because she thinks she hurt Gary, and since she did the deed with Steve she feels there isn't a chance for a relationship because sex came on the scene too fast...or something like that...and she fears she will drive a spike between two best friends if she gets involved. look sweetie...I know this cant be the most comfortable situation to be in...and in all honesty, I've been both Steve and Gary at some point in my life. Gary has dropped the ball here...but in reality...he wasn't even playing the game...he only thought he was. IF gary has feelings for you outside of just friendship then he should have come out with them, and if he would have came out with them you would have shot him down anyway because you don't have the same feelings for him. and so you wouldn't have ended up with Gary anyway if Steve wasn't involved. IF Gary doesn't have feelings for you other than just friendship then he souldn't be upset in the least that you and Steve hooked up...after all...I'm always happy for my friends when they hook up with someone...why wouldn't he be happy for both of you if he was just a friend? Steve either has shared feelings of interest in you, or just wanted sex... IF Steve has shared feelings for you then he is probably thinking the same things as you are right now. since he is garys best friend he knows how gary feels about you and wouldn't have made sexual advances towards you right in front of him if gary felt something other than friendship towards you. unless he is just a crappy friend... and since I think this is the case, I think you should go for it and see what happens trying to start something up with Steve... IF Steve was just in it for sex then so be it...let the subject die and wait for someone else to make the first move. let the dust settle a bit and play it off like nothing ever happened. Honestly? I think Steve cares for you...and I would strongly sugest calling him up and starting something up with him...if you have been interested in him since high school then why not see what can happen? Gary is on the outside looking in on this...and since you don't have any romantic interest in him then it really doesn't matter if he has it in you. selfish as that sounds. if he brings something up then you just need to explain to him that you aren't attracted to him in that way but that you do think the world of him and want to maintain your friendship. what happened with between you and Steve is your business and your choice...where you go with that from here is the decision you gotta make now. and I would definitely say go for it...you got nothing too loose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenmonster Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 oh...and don't worry about being uncomfortable around Steve...he will probably be more nervous than you...but what you should do is just take the situation by the horns and make first contact with him...call him up and find out if he wants to go out tonight and get some drinks or something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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