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TheFallenShadow

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Predictable....

 

yes well its seems at times i am that, but im not the only one, seems i am not the only one that has fell nice and neatly into place....LOL

 

its almost humorous in a way, cause i should have known....that if i voice my opinion alittle to loudly or its not what one wants to hear....then they get all pissed off, and not talk or email...etc....you get the picture....

 

as it were, im to the point were i just dont care anymore....so everyone can take the jabs at me, and think what they want of me.. come up with whatever ideas, and paint me a monster....i just dont care anymore....maybe i should have just given up like those others have...but then again, i wouldnt be me, if i simply gave up...

 

so as it stand, i just really dont give a $hit what anyone thinks of me anymore....either accept me for who i am or not.....either way it doesnt matter....

 

im stepping back to a simple way of life, where it wasnt so complicated, and quite frankly, i find that in general people make things more complicated then they need to be, but then again, i guess there is something WRONG with my brain housing group, or so i have been told repeatedly....hmm, so much for understanding my poinit of view.. oh well....

 

LOL....well anyways, im off to play guild wars....since that is what i like to do...LOL....in the end...there is only shadows and dust....

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You are no longer the light

That I seek in darkness

 

Nor the angel

That I can’t see

 

You took yourself away

Cause you wanted too…

 

You weren’t there for me

As I wasn’t for you

That’s the way you wanted it to be

 

You choose this path

For both of us…

 

Teardrops fell

Staining the sheets,

 

Rivers flowed

Hearts never to meet

 

Empty arms

Broken wings

 

A shattered soul

Not yours to keep

 

My own hell

Locked in my mind

 

Soul empty

Never to feel

 

A phantom touch

Ghost of a kiss

 

A shadow for you

Now that I don’t exist

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hmmm. well almost there....

 

got a plan and working it now, pieces are falling into place as i had hoped....

 

thanks to NO ONE but me...

what i have learned painfully again, is I have to be my own rock, because quite certainly there are those out there, that would rather turn tail and run...when things get tough...and me...im not running anymore. i am here to stay, for as long as i choose to...

 

Im finding that my self imposed isolation, and stoic demeanor, suits me....and so with that, i can play the part, that i have been painted...

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i wake up every morning fighten mad....why that is just how my life is.....

 

i was told once to not stand against the current of the river, and let things flow....instead of being the one that stood out. the rock so to speak,....

 

so trying to conformed to that idea, of "going with it, and letting it flow"

didnt work...atleast not for me....and to that end what did it get me, but a brief moment of happiness, and now a lifetime of hurt......

 

someone else told me not to be so bitter... to late for that.....

LOL....guess i will go back to being the * * * * * i was before....because at least then, i was more clear on where people stood with me, and where i stood with them. thats always a good thing to know, leaves out all the guess work, and not know.....

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as it were, i was going through my email....and the ones that i have saved...slowly, reading each one....and feelings as it were gone from one end of the spectrum to the other...

 

and i guess, i just wanted to know if she truly ever did love me.....

 

GD i still hurt.....and she could give a wit about it...just wish i could go back, make things right this time...and she is right, i hate myself enough for every one else....

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