I Hate Him

[thouse]

Because everytime I wake up in the morning and lay down at night he is always in my thoughts. I dated a man for almost 4 years and was there for him and loved him when he really needed it. I got crumbs in return. When I told him I needed a committed relationship he told me he wasn't ready for that, so I left him alone. I have been in no contact for a couple of weeks, but before that he would contact me atleast once a week. He asked me was I seeing someone and I told him yes ( I lied). I am just determined to not let him see me a mess. My sons father broke me down to a point that I thought I would not recover, I refuse to let anyone else do that to me. Anyhow I lied and told him that I was seeing a guy and that I was going on several dates. He continued to contact me but he always wanted to know about me and the guys I was seeing. I told him I thought it was tacky to discuss my personal business with him, and that I would not want to know what he was doing. The very last time I spoke with him he then asked me again was I still dating and what was I doing with them, I again told him I felt that was personal, so he said "fine miss secretive", and we hung up, I have not spoken to him since. He is very good friends with some of my cousins, so naturally when we have family outings he is there. When we stopped seeing each other we decided that since we both go over there we would not bring other people there so it won't be awkard. I was talking to one of my cousins today and she says he has been coming over there with girls in his car. I hate that I care so much about the way he perceives me that I have this facade going on when actually I could not even think of seeing somebody else but I don't know what else to do.

[alwaysthegirlfriend]

wow.. I'm sorry to say but I think when you told he you were seeing other people he stopped calling you and probably decided that he needed to move on and see other people. I know you are mad that he is seeing other girls but he is doing it because you told him that you were. It kinda gave him the green light.

 

I know how you feel and you are a mess and you think about him constantly. I don't want to be mean but you shouldn't have lied. I know you thought by telling him this would make him jealous and that he would run back but my X said something that has stuck with me "Guys are straight forward they say exactly what they mean" and it's true.

 

I'm sorry you a hurting and that you have heard he is now seeing girls. Give it some time and maybe he is just doing it to spite you.

 

My advice to you is don't lie about seeing guys when you aren't. You can still put up a face to show him that you aren't weak but don't say something you will regret later.

[thouse]

He had already told me that he was hanging out with another girl, so when he asked me was I seeing someone I didn't want to be just sitting like a love sick dog with no prospects so that's when I said yes I was seeing someone, actually I said yes I have several friends, then I think it really irritates him that I won't discuss any of it with him, though I can't understand why he would want to know.

[alwaysthegirlfriend]

I think he still cares if he wants to know about your personal life. I think it irratates him because he wants to know where you stand with these people and maybe he is thinking of wanting you back but wants to know first if you aren't commited to anyone else.

 

But then again he might just want to know your business in this case he has no reason to. My ex told me the other night that he was hanging out with other girls and it made me furious. I finally cut all ties with him and said I don't need you anymore so I erased him from my phone like I was erasing him from my life.

 

I'm sorry if you are hurting. But I know you said what you said to show him you are strong and not sitting around waiting for him. I know it's hard but maybe you should just cut ties too. If he doesn't want to talk to you anymore think of it as a good thing. Say THANKS BUDDY FOR MAKING ME REALIZE THAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO CALL ME OR TALK TO ME then I don't need you either.!