Does it matter where you are?

[ftheunion]

He there. I moved away from San Diego, CA for like a month and a half, but was poor and just couldn't stay in podung ville southeast arizona. You can see the wide open view/horizon into mexico from the house I was living at. I am leaving to go back to CA in like 1 1/2 hours. I even withdrew from my college class.

 

 

I now feel anxiety and stuff, I realize after look at a road map here in the library, that unlike I though before, nomatter where I live, I will still feel alone. I know Tuscon and Pheonix have cool people there, but I just see roads and buildings, I don't have any friends here, and just like 2 in CA. I hardly see them though, cause in highschool everyonee goes random directions.

 

I'm sorry to say this, but I'm kinda glad I'm goin back.

 

I am jealous of all the yankees though. They have their social structure and relationships and family, but I'm alienated and different than all that. Plus I'm poor, so I dunno if I could ever be like them.

 

Even if I was in chicago I would still feel alone. Its like choose your isolation. I could be alone in a sea of land and open space, or alone in a sea of poeple. Either way, its a small world, so any one place that you could live is confusing me. I don't understand. I don't think I could be happy anywhere I am.

 

I'll always see those yankee couples or families. They got perfect happiness, yet they are mindless cause of christianity.

 

That's why I turned to philosophy. The girl I like is back there goin to the highschool I went to and now my brother is goin to. Its just those feelings of resentment never go away. I wasn't a yankee in highschool, if it hadn't been for my friends brother, I would have been a loner for the second half of highschool. I knew people and also at work, but that don't do anything much as far as removing the feeling.

 

 

I dunno, maybe I want to hear some advice from a yankee, but I don't want to be one. I'm just some guy that is wandering aimlessly inside my head.

 

I thought maybe having a girlfriend or wife would solve this, but If it doesn't happen ( I can't expect it to) then where should I live? I don't want to live in new england, but I just don't know what to do. A life alone is tough. Man it must feel good to be a yankee. I just resent them, and am moving back to a place that is crawling with them.

 

What do you people think. Where is Home? or is the question not about where but with whom.

 

Ever since my ex from the summer after 7th grade, I saw her in highschool living the yankee life, she probably still is. She still lives there, but luckily I won't ever see her again. I won't even see the girl I like. I told her I liked her for the semester and she looked nice (this was on grad night), but she wasn't interested. She still was polite though.

 

I just resent all the irony. I desired, especially in jr. high/ highschool. I have to drown forever in those feelings when I get back there cause my brother is hardcore marching band, which is cool.

 

I dunno what to think. I am a mess upstairs. My mind is just drained and I dunno what to think. Damn yankees. I ain't good enough to be one, or get a yankee as a gf either. I dunno if I'll get another ever.

 

So confusing. I'm glad not many poeple have to feel this way. I guess someone has to suffer for others to be happy?

[PeanutButter]

i feel ya, whats with all the yankee talk?

[Dako]

I'm not sure what a Yankee in San Diego might be.

This is such a diverse area, you might even find North Georgians in Lakeside flying the stars and bars next door to a Thai guy flying the rainbow.

 

You can be whoever you want.

[PeanutButter]

oh hey theres a list somewhere of the most depressing and happiest cities to live in.

[HyruleGuardian]

I know how you're feeling. Maybe not exactly, but in general. I've been feeling really lonely for the past couple months or so. All my old friends are gone and all I have now are acquaintances that I barely talk to. My best friend moved to another state about a month ago and I haven't talked to many people since then. I've felt really isolated.

 

Sometimes I feel like moving away somewhere new where I can just pretend to be a different person. Where I don't have to stay in this personality that I have here and I can let loose and met new people. Then I realize that it probably wouldn't change there either, so why bother. I feel stuck in a way.

 

It sucks being alone. At times I like it, but others it really blows. I just want someone to talk to. Someone to be there for me. I see all these other people with great social groups and I am there sitting alone.

 

Honestly man...once I get out of this rut, I will try my best to start talking to new people. I'll try to get involved at my college campus some more. But right now, I feel just like you do.

[PeanutButter]

theres a lot of ppl who are left out. eh.

[ftheunion]

Ya. I'm now back where I started. I like philosophy, but that doesn't replace having a Significant Other. Some ancient greek argued that everything is stasis, change is an illusion. Someone else argued the opposite. Does it even matter though?