Feeling Left Out?

[Dark Prince]

I couldn't come up with a good title of this thread to really describe what I'm trying to explain here. So, anyway....

 

I don't know how to explain this, but I'm wondering if this has happened to anyone else. For some reason I feel like I don't fit into to my group of 'friends' that I hang out with. I call them 'friends' but they feel more like acquaitences that I just happen to hang out with every so often.

 

To me they don't seem like the kind of group that I can trust and talk about certain issues or feelings I may have. I find it hard to make new friends that I can eventually put this kind of trust in. Also, it seems like I'm always falling into this group but I feel like the odd ball almost all the time. I try to fit in with the group and go along with everyone; but it always seems like I'm behind everyone else.

 

I'm trying to find clubs that I can join at school that will possibly help me gain new friends, but its hard. I haven't had a best friend in a long time.

 

Also it seems like with the group I never really have anything constructive to say when someone is talking about something random. I don't get it?

[Lana0120]

Don't worry about it. It sounds like they are acquaintances rather than true friends. I've had many of those myself. You don't get that connection with them, you feel left out and know you could never trust them with really private, personal information about yourself. You're doing the right thing by trying to broaden your horizons and meet other people who are more like you and will share more of your interests.

[Deranged]

Idk, what to tell you. Im having the same problems....maybe lower your expectations? Thats what Im trying to do. Im not going to be best friends with anyone over night. Join clubs chat ppl up in classes. Its hard to find ppl to click w/ but dont give up!

[Altruist]

Maybe you shouldn't look for friendship within the whole group but single out someone in the group that you can relate to. That person will be your link to the whole group. If you observe carefully within the group you will notice that some people within the group are closer to each other than to others.

[Dark Prince]

Maybe you shouldn't look for friendship within the whole group but single out someone in the group that you can relate to. That person will be your link to the whole group. If you observe carefully within the group you will notice that some people within the group are closer to each other than to others.

 

For some reason I find that to be a little hard with the group. They don't really seem like that people I can make a better connection with; maybe with the exception of one or two of them.

 

I know this may be a little off topic in my own topic: but I just started going to classes again and I think I screwed myself by sitting the front of the class again. How I can talk to people to get to know new people in the class? For instance, would it seem weird if saw in front of class again and this one girl also sits behind again, would it seem weird if I turned around and said hi if I got to class early?

 

I hope you guys understood that.

[Altruist]

For some reason I find that to be a little hard with the group. They don't really seem like that people I can make a better connection with; maybe with the exception of one or two of them.

 

I know this may be a little off topic in my own topic: but I just started going to classes again and I think I screwed myself by sitting the front of the class again. How I can talk to people to get to know new people in the class? For instance, would it seem weird if saw in front of class again and this one girl also sits behind again, would it seem weird if I turned around and said hi if I got to class early?

 

I hope you guys understood that.

 

Can you not shift your position and start sitting where you have a better view of the class?

[Dark Prince]

Can you not shift your position and start sitting where you have a better view of the class?

 

I probably could if I came into class early before anyone got to their seats. For some reason I'm feeling confident this weekend going into this week. Not too much though; but just enough.

[mademoiselle]

Yeah they're not really friends. As harsh as this might sound, I think that a lot of people think that they have friends, but really don't. The people with whom they consider friends - and they may spend every day with them, are often people who dress the same way, think the same way on a superficial level, and so in my mind, are just people with whom you 'hang' with. Friends have a connection beyond the one upping, the clothes, the parties.

 

You're doing the right thing by branching out. Think about how you make your current crop of 'friends'. Talk to people - even if its on public transport. Say hi to whoever happens to be sitting behind/beside you. There are a lot of people in this world and the more you talk to, the more likely you'll find someone with whom you can relate to.

[Dark Prince]

Well, that much I find true in my case. I hang out with them mostly because I don't want it to seem like I'm anti-social. I want to be social, but with this group it seems like I can't do that with their kind. I mean, I don't want to break off from them and never speak to them again as I've known them since high school, which is a few years now.

 

I'm thinking definitely of changing my position in class, as I'm always moving towards the front and I end up not really talking to anyone unless its to the right or left of me. This plagued me the last few semesters and I only got to know maybe one or two people but never became friends.

[mademoiselle]

You have to keep trying, putting yourself in a situation which enables you to meet new people. If you're friendly enough, you will make friends. I'm going through the same thing myself. I have a pretty close group of friends at university with whom I was friends with at school. However, they are not good friends, don't actually care about what each other does, are only capable of superficial conversation. In short, they are people who I just hang with. I can understand that its hard to distance yourself from them when you've been friends with them for so long, but you're missing out on what's really out there. Better people, better friends, and a better social life. It's not going to happen overnight but it definitely won't happen if you don't try.

 

Good luck mate.