Is it normal for feelings to wane so much..Or am I a commitmentphobe?

[Anon333]

Hi, I was just wondering if it was normal for doubts and lost feelings to start setting in after a month or so of being with someone...I never have seemed to get to a point in a relationship where I feel solid about who I am with....Always having doubts....Is this something that most people have, and you have to try to push those thoughts away, and try to make the relationship work? I always end up regretful when my relationships end, and dont understand why I had doubts while I was with the person....I guess once I am completely over it, I can look back and see they were not right for me...

 

Right now I am dating someone who I felt really happy about for the first few weeks..We've been spending almost every day together, and the last couple days I feel less attracted to him, and less into him..But I dont want to suddenly break it off..Because I enjoy his company and we have a good time together...Plus, this is something that seems to be an issue inside myslef....I can never fully enjoy a relationship without doubts taking over...I dunno..Anyone else know?

[Snoopy24]

Well honestly, it just seems like you haven't met any of the right people. The first couple of weeks you really didn't know him that well. Now that it's been a month, there are probally things you notice about him that doesn't make him a potential parter for you. He might be nice and enjoy his company, but he just isn't the right guy for you.

 

When you meet him. You will know So my advice is to end it as soon as possible. The longer you wait the more feelings are involved.

[Anon333]

That kinda sucks, cause I do really like him..I just have these typical impending doubts about him, that I seem to always have with boyfriends...And then I get attached, and torn between my doubts, and losing them....It could also be that we have spent almost every day together for the last three weeks..It might have been overkill....I really like him though...He has some issues (OCD), and that may have put a damper on my feelings for him..But I feel like I click with him better than most partners I have ever been with..I have really low sex drive as well...So I dont know if it is that, or I just dont feel the way I should with someone I jsut met..I dunno..Id like to give it a little more time....But maybe I should listen to you Snoopy...

[Lana0120]

I agree with Snoopy. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are afraid of commitment, just that you haven't met the person with the zing factor!

[Anon333]

But I feel like it is something inside of me that doesnt let me feel that way....I click with this guy and have fun with him on every level....I am 27 and never have met anyone I felt 100% sure about...I am moving away the end of the year..And he knows this...So I figure, since the relationship will not continue past that, I could maybe just enjoy it till then?