I think my boyfriend has a hickey on his leg that I didn't put there.. Help!!!

[amanda1266]

Hello all.. I just went to see my boyfriend today and we were making out.. I'm on my period so instead of having sex, I went down on him.. When I went down I saw he had these red blotches on his leg. It was on the side of his leg between his groin area and his knee. I am getting such a bad feeling that these are hickeys.. I asked if he saw them and his response was "I felt them". If it is a hickey, i'm thinking his response would just be a nervous "yeah I saw them" ... What do hickeys look like? His marks are dark red.. there is two mouth sized ones and a smaller like dot size. Because of the dot sized one I'm thinking they might not be hickeys. What do you all think? This really has me worked up and before I got accusing I want to know what everyone thinks.. Thanks so much!!

[DN]

They are probably bruises from something. If some girl was giving him hickeys there she probably would have on the other leg and elsewhere as well.

 

And he would not have let you see them.

[-Ophelia-]

Don't jump into conclusions. It might be something else. Why would you think something like that? Don't you trust him?

 

When you asked him and he told you that he has felt them, wasn't he concerned what they were?

 

Some people get some rashes on different parts of their body. Would have mistaken them for a rash?

[amanda1266]

OMG.. I just thought of something. When I went over he had on his swimming shorts which are really long. He usually wears short boxers. I even asked him what was up with that and he said he didn't know, just felt like wearing them. Usually when we have sex I wouldn't have saw that spot on his leg.. BUT he didn't know I had my period until I got there and told him. Wow, please tell me i'm over thinking all of this

[CHEMICAL_ROMANCEXXX]

umm tricky. i would not like to guess if they are hickeys just by going on you're description. i think for now you have to give him the benefit of the doubt, has he ever given you any reason not to trust him? maybe its just a rash or something. i think this is always going to be at the back of you're mind so perhaps you should bring this up with your boyfriend. next time you see the marks perhaps playfully point out they look like hickeys then see what he says

[DN]

link removed

[Shin kensen]

Ingrown hair?

[amanda1266]

Don't jump into conclusions. It might be something else. Why would you think something like that? Don't you trust him?

 

When you asked him and he told you that he has felt them, wasn't he concerned what they were?

 

Some people get some rashes on different parts of their body. Would have mistaken them for a rash?

 

 

I do trust him to a point.. but we've only been seeing each other a couple months and my trust isn't completely 100% yet.. I have been burned bad in the past so I can't completely trust someone right off the bat. He has never given me a reason to not trust him, but the bad thoughts are still there. I will see him again on Thursday.. If they are hickeys should they be faded by then?

[Miss Firecracker]

Do you believe he could feel those places? I've NEVER felt one. They are flat.

[Dako]

So you mistrust him because someone else burned you?

Maybe you're borrowing trouble.

 

Wikipedia is the strangest thing.

[CHEMICAL_ROMANCEXXX]

what is you're relationship like, are you happy together and before you saw the marks on his leg did you have any feelings he may be cheating?? usually there are other subtle signs to look out for if someone is cheating. there is a high chance you are over thinking

[amanda1266]

what is you're relationship like, are you happy together and before you saw the marks on his leg did you have any feelings he may be cheating?? usually there are other subtle signs to look out for if someone is cheating. there is a high chance you are over thinking

 

Everything has been absolutely wonderful.. things are progressing beautifully for us.. And no, there is nothing else that would even remotely point to cheating. Ok, maybe i'm overthinking this. I hope so anyway

[tmp0620]

Everything has been absolutely wonderful.. things are progressing beautifully for us.. And no, there is nothing else that would even remotely point to cheating. Ok, maybe i'm overthinking this. I hope so anyway

 

It sounds like you are overthinking it. What's the solution anyway? The only way you'll find out is if you ask him and he's willing to tell you. That's not a good option, so you either have to choose to trust him...... or not.

[Hope75]

I do trust him to a point.. but we've only been seeing each other a couple months and my trust isn't completely 100% yet.. I have been burned bad in the past so I can't completely trust someone right off the bat. He has never given me a reason to not trust him, but the bad thoughts are still there. I will see him again on Thursday.. If they are hickeys should they be faded by then?

 

OK- you trust him, but you have been burned in the past. Remember, he should not have to pay for things that an ex boyfriend has done to you, and to make him do so would be unfair.

 

If he has given you no reason not to trust him thus far I would let this go- it's not likely they are hickeys.

[Lana0120]

Very random place for a hickey.

[mintblossom]

I think we call them STDS.

[greenmonster]

they don't sound like hickeys to me. hickeys aren't normally red...they are a bruise...so they should be more a dark purple...unless they were just given to him...

 

also it sounds like a pretty strange place for a hickey...and the random size of them is another thing thats weird and not very hicky like.

 

does he work out or lift or anything? I come home from the gym sometimes and have strange bruises and marks on me from bumping into stuff all the time...

[RayKay]

Are you sure they are not bruises, or pressure points?

 

I am a rather active person - with very sensitive skin - and I often will come home with some strange new bruise or something without even knowing I did something. For example, last week I had what looked like a hickey on my back shoulder blade after a run because my sports bra strap was twisted a bit funny so it caused the small blood vessels to pop (which is what happens with a hickey). I regularly get strange bruises/marks on legs from mountain biking...even if I did not crash.

 

*shrug*; I don't know, but I do know that even with a negative past, you can't go into the future punishing new partner for how you were wronged by others.

 

If they were hickies, I doubt he would of let you see them either; but then again one could lie I suppose...I don't know.

 

It all comes down to the trust levels and the context. If my boyfriend accused me of cheating for my weird bra strap hickey, I would feel pretty upset since it is not my character at all to do that, but then again it is not like I could "prove" it wasn't one either. That is where trust comes in (and he knows I bruise easily anyway and have a bit of a clumsy gene with fair skin...I hurt myself last week when I got a big bruise from dropping an empty tupperware container on my toe!).

 

 

 

Did he say what they were from?

[JadedStar]

The swim shorts out of the blue with no explanation kind of woudl make me feel uneasy too.

 

That was an odd move....

 

But you can't make it be your proof. If this is the ONLY time you have ever not trusted him i'd let it go, but if you have reasons prior to this that make you feel he is not to be trusted than the liklihood of this being something creepy is more likely.

[vinnee]

Maybe they are hives; hives itch and he did say that he felt them rather than saw them. And maybe because he is aware of them, he self-consciously wore longer shorts.

[JadedStar]

Maybe they are hives; hives itch and he did say that he felt them rather than saw them. And maybe because he is aware of them, he self-consciously wore longer shorts.

 

No man i have ever known would bother to hide a few red marks on the legs. They don't normally care about stuff like that.

[Taomagicdragon]

Well, as a man, I can say I would wear longer shorts if I had hives, mainly for the conscious part but also if I don't see them then I won't try to scratch them (When I get hives I get itchy).

[JadedStar]

Well, as a man, I can say I would wear longer shorts if I had hives, mainly for the conscious part but also if I don't see them then I won't try to scratch them (When I get hives I get itchy).

 

But he never said they itched.

 

I am not saying that something IS askew, I am saying that it does cause eyebrows to raise.

 

But raised eyebrows does not always mean guilt ... it can be a coincendence. the key is if he is the untrustworthy type, and if he is trustworthy why she would jump to such a strong conclusion.

[DN]

I think it unwise to take two things and make them add up to five. He has marks that he appeared to be unaware of and wore longer shorts. That is reason to sow the seeds of distrust?

 

If he was so concerned about hiding the marks - how come he got naked with you?

[amanda1266]

Hello all and thanks for the replies.. We talked about it ( I didn't tell him I suspected they were hickeys) and he said he thought they are bug bites, and he did say they were itchy, so I really don't think they are hickeys.. But, I still have the thought in the back of my mind. So if on Tuesday these were brand new hickeys and that why they were so red, what would they look like today? I am going to see him tonight. Should they be purpleish at this point? Thanks everyone for all the help!