JeckyllNHyde Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 hey glad to hear you are bubbly again i luv that feeling too where you just want to sing those songs and dance @ for no reason whatsoever... =D> by jolly! i think we've got it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 13, 2007 Author Share Posted September 13, 2007 hey glad to hear you are bubbly again i luv that feeling too where you just want to sing those songs and dance @ for no reason whatsoever... =D> by jolly! i think we've got it I hope so babes I really hope so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 Well I am still feeling so much happier with life. I still think of him occasionally but it doesn't get me down, the thoughts go quickly as I have so many other things to think about at the moment. Holiday Losing Weight Clothes for holiday Work The only thing that is pissing me off at the moment is why I am doing all this exercise yet am not losing any weight and also that I can't seem to control my eating that well at the moment, although I do eat fairly healthy just a bit too much hence prob why not weight loss (der brain). So note to self - YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU HAVE THREE WEEKS AND ARE DOING PLENTY OF EXERCISE JUST CUT DOWN A LITTLE ON WHAT YOU EAT DAILY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 What is really really a great sign, is yesterday at my therapy session there was a girl (27) call her R suffering from depression and loss of B/F aswell. I was saying in the session about the good days become more frequent and that time and keeping busy etc helped me. She asked to talk to me after the class which I was so happy to do and try and help, and wanted to know how I'd got better and could I give her any advice. I told her a few things I had done to help and gave her my number but also this website to help her. I feel quite pleased I was able to help someone in just a tiny way. And knew from that just how far I had come since about 4months ago. ((((big smiles)))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 Your loss, you missed out, I doubt very much that you will get anyone in the future who will love you as much as I did, will be interested in everything to do with you, would be as pretty as me or would be more into sex than you were and would be as good as I was, be as funny as I am, you won't find anyone with the total great whole package I am or who compares to me. Thank you for setting me free. I am free to be bubbly blonde once again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 15, 2007 Author Share Posted September 15, 2007 God I feel so happy again today, music is on and I feel like dancing around the room! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 OOoohh how exciting holiday has come around so quickly and now just over 2wks away. Who gives a crap about how many weeks since split or NC - its 2wks til I'm up up up and away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 Rightly or wrongly, I came up with something today. You dumped me when you knew I was at my weakest phyically and emotionally and all because you wanted control. You wanted to make sure you had total control and came out looking like the good one, the strong one just like you said your step father was with your Mum always had to have the upper hand. Yet when 3weeks earlier you dumped me and I said yes I think it was for the best, all of a sudden you turned and starting saying oh no lets go have a romantic time in Thailand and a lovely time on your birthday and see how things go and you were sure that we could work through things. But that was because you wanted control back you didn't like the fact that I was prepared to walk away in a respectful and dignified way for both of us, and neither would have been really hurt. Just so angry at myself how could I have been such a numb nuts but at least I know I gave absolutely everything I had, all my love, all my soul even my sanity for you, you cannot ever say the same and it be true, you would say it because you are a liar but it wouldn;t be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunney Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 I feel born again, alive properly for the first time in along time!! All that time I was with "L" and I lost myself, was ill, was stressed trying to hold something together by myself that just wasn't meant to be. The sadness of the split now....... I feel like running around the park naked just cause I feel so liberated but probably best to remain in the house instead. Wow hahaha your cute ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 One down day out of loads of up days is fine. I fckuing hate your guts Lee, I wish you were dead quite frankly, for what you did to me knowing all I had already gone through in my life, I just wish you the worst in life. I guess I'll never understand ever. You are a pig. DO NOT EVER COME BACK ANYWHERE NEAR ME EVER AND I MEAN EVER AGAIN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 Very bad afternoon -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No real reason, face & eyes sting from tears Thats all I have to say OK EDIT Am angry at me and angry at my ex and don't quite know how to get rid of that. I feel stupid today. Stupid for believing in him and things that now just didn't add up but I was blinded at the time. I also had a vivid dream about him which didn't help I'm sure all about him fingering other women and telling me all abou it. I wish and need to stop crying. I'm working so can't nap or drink. EDIT AGAIN But why me, all I wanted was to be loved and to be happy. Why did he have to build me and my hopes up just to dash them away, why did he pretend to be the perfect male specimin (and I was stupid enough to fall for it too der brain). I've been through enough cr@p in this life and surely deserve some stability and happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 On top of all those things I am lonely today and miss being hugged and snuggling up. Ok I try not to feel sorry for myself too often but I am in need of indulging today...... why me? am I not good enough? do I not deserve love and happiness? why me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 Thing that gets me I suffered alot during our relationship, I really really did. I nearly lost my sanity to stay with him, I suffered when he broke up with me, I wanna know that he has suffered that he has felt like cr@p. I donno why, eye for an eye I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 Life sucks sometimes Sometimes I wonder what the point is Is it worth all the hassle Maybe I am meant to be single and that was my lesson showing me so FCUK THIS SH!T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeckyllNHyde Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 hey bubbly, sorry to hear your down, try and remember the holiday you have coming up in 2 weeks come on, dont let what that jerk did to you in the past ruin your parade of sunshine and the present.. you just feel down now b/c you have had so many good days, and now this setback seems like it came out of nowhere but you have gotten so far inhealing, you will bounce back in no time... get your "feel like dancing tunes" out first thing tomorrow morning and dont let what he did ruin your future days anymore.. always move forward never back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 19, 2007 Author Share Posted September 19, 2007 I know hun holiday holiday holiday Have changed my avi to reflect and remind me of this. Music your right should have done that yesterday, will do today for sure. Thanks for your support am doing better today, gonna start this evening sorting out my clothes for my holiday to really start to get excited about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 19, 2007 Author Share Posted September 19, 2007 I miss having the openess in bed with someone, being so intimate and being able to discuss your likes and dislikes fully. Having human touch. To give and receive. To being cuddled and kept warm in bed. I don't miss him, I miss some of the better things about us. I want the above with someone, someone new although I know now is not the right time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 19, 2007 Author Share Posted September 19, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 20, 2007 Author Share Posted September 20, 2007 see gettting lonley and having the occasional blip is normal, and it does pass - here you are about 12wks down the line and how much better is life, even before the split you were not well and it was doing your head in. So one bad day out of a load of good ones well compared with almost everyday being a bad day for about the last 6 or so months, what a difference a break makes. Look at what the future holds: Holiday Gym & getting fit Just enjoying life Work & hitting target sometime soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 To the ex I feel sorry for you....good luck Tee hee hee hee Watch me hop, skip down the road away from you taking my fine t!ts and ass and into the arms of someone who is worthy of my love. Byeeeeeeee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 Needed to put this as a vent Lee Your Mums final comment to me about "I just wished you'd let me get to know you a bit better" well that snotty old cow, when I met her I suggested she came down to stay with you and we could take her on the London Eye and for some nice lunch and what did the f**king old stuck up B!tch say With a turned up nose "Oh no that does not interest me in the slighest" NOT WHAT A LOVELY THOUGHT I'D LOVE TO DO LUNCH AND PERHAPS SOME OF THE MORE HISTORICAL SIDE OF LONDON JUST A FLAT OUT NO. And you blamed me for never seeing her that much, well in the 7months we were together did the cow ever come and stay down here. If she wanted to get to know me that much she could have made more of a f**king effort. But typical of you and your family, blame someone else and weakerm cause its easier, can see where you get it from now. FCUK FCUK FCUK Makes my blood boil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 For the names I am sorry, its just a way of venting my upset and anger. Thank you to all that have been kind with their words and encouraging to me. Take care and hope to "see" you all soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 Why why why did you do this to me Why did I let myself love you so much and so wholey. I hate you I want to smash your face in but I also do not want to give you the satisfaction that I hurt and that you had such a profound effect on me because your not worth it. For so many reasons I hate your guts, I hate you as much as my ex-stepfather which as you know is alot. I never wish you happiness and hope you live a fckung miseralbe life and existnace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 C U N T P R I C K H E A R T L E S S T O S S E R W A N K E R B O R N T O B E A L O N E G I N G E R T W A T Right Now Thats Out Of The Way Gonna Try And Post Positively In My Journal From Now On, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 22, 2007 Author Share Posted September 22, 2007 So not just me then!! Hi BB: I posted my forums on what I had written when I joined and guess what me and you were in the same boat. You had a 7 month relationship I had 6 and I feel head over heels for her. So what you are feeling and read your forum sound just like me with the up and down days etc. ONe thing I did not like is that some people were very hard on you and you did not need that. It was cruel I thought and mean, but they say it is tough love, but it is not. It only makes it worse. Yours was different because he lied. That I know it hurts but now you know what to look for and if you have to do a background check. Mine was that she had issues but I still treated her like a queen and It hink she got scared. Now look at what happened when she made contact for me and her saying etc. Even though 1 year of NC, thought she never contact me, but I guess she knows I treated her right, and still I do care for her and the emotions are still there and it shouldn;t. Of course now it has been only a few days of no contact but I am not going to bother her. See the last thread on when she snapped at me. Any questions please ask and PM me. Let me know what you think???? She is 31 years old and has her own house, but she is struggling with the bills, not making enough money but her parents are the one and she sees it controlling her and degrading her. I am sure once she sees that I was very good to her she will come around, but again when dloes she could lose me. I do feel your pain and I have read some of the up and downs. It is normal. Yes, I saw a counselor too and I was put on Zoloft to take the edge off and it did help till I did not need it anymore. However now I have a great job and making money. You see you are not alone girl. Your emotions are there and due to the fact he lied and cheated, it hurts and never take him back. The next person you now know what to watch for. Hi BB11, I just read your latest post and it broke my heart. I wanted you to know that your advice and postings on here have HELPED ME so much. You are much stronger and wiser than you think. You are a beautiful woman - inside and out - and I just wish you could see that. I hope things get better for you. I am here anytime you want to talk. PM me anytime you want. We are on similar break-up timelines right now, and have some similar past issues. So it might be helpful. I relate to what you're going through. There have been days when reading your posts on here have been the only thing that makes sense. I'm sure you understand that feeling. I'm doubting things I believed in the past, too. Beliefs and thoughts about my ex-girlfriend, about the relationship, myself, etc. It's so hard...but we will come out better for it. Now if I could just stop going through old emails!! Let me know how you're doing today, ok? big hugs. hope i can cheer u up -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Told u before your not a bad person!The things u feel for others are all attributes of a nice normal person Whats happened to u sounds exactly like what i myself have been dragged through emotionally- that is us being the nice people have been used and discreetly mentally abused by someone who can work mind games and use the nice person without them even knowing and we think this person loves us so open up back to them. Trust me Im fairly certain I know exactly wot ur going through and it is hell. Its a shame for you as you were doing really well and we all thought on here u were mended and over it all-i guess its the questions in your head that you want answers to that keep you thinking about it all. On a more lighthearted note, i had a silly night lastnight to, got pissed and started txting her, all for her to tell me shes going with someone new already, then me in turn eventually saying 'good good i'll knock lumps out him' lol so i screwed that up hehe. oh and guess what before that bit she even tried her little mindgames again sayin to me 'u need help' when in actual fact she is the manipulative self-centred using b***ard grrrrr. anyhoo, going by the old theory a problem shared is a problem halfed, then i hope my little pm has in some way cheered u up, knowing that ur not a bad person in anyway at all! seriously ur a star on here, ur always first on the scene when someone posts up their problems and offering comfort straight away. Would a bad person do that?no a bad person doesnt give a **** about others! so chin up missy and smile for me hi -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i don't think that i've responded to many of your threads before, except for the one requesting lyrics or something. i've been reading through your posts and just wanted to reassure you that your reactions are not as abnormal as some people on here would like you to think. i flip flop all the time. i have posted on here about how i feel i am moving on, about how i am feeling so low that ending it all is my only option and about how i still want to 'win' her back. i do honestly think that the way we react to our break ups says a lot about us and our ability to love. i don't know so very much about your situation, but from what i have read i can tell you that i understand how you are feeling. it's been alomost a year to the day since my break up and i still fluctuate wildly in my moods. i only wish that i could get angry about the whole thing. i know that my inabilty to do so is hindering my healing process. i think i read that you are seeing a therapist. that's a good thing. do you feel that i t helps in any way? keep coming here and posting about how you feel and how things are going for you. ignore the people that believe a tough love approach is what is best for you right now. i have dealt with one particular person that i see being unhelpful to you before and she didn't do much to help the way i was feeling either. please PM me if you want to. i know it's all too easy to draw comparisons between what we are feeling and how we are coping, but i really do see alot of the way i feel in your posts. hang in there girl, they assure me that it gets better. hugs. Hello! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey BB! I'm glad you feel better today, I'm so sorry you had such bad evening and that some posts upset you But, hey, we meet unsensitive ones all the time, at work, in neighbourhood, in family, and with time we learn how to let their words enter on one ear and to go out on the other ear, not stoping in between at all.. Just when something like that happens think of all people that are support to you, and that appreciate you a lot, and that everything is going to be just fine Best luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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