Mad

[thouse]

I am trying to heal after I have been in a 4 year relationship with a good friend. I had so many expectations for this relationship and I guess he didn't feel the same cause I got the whole he's not ready to take the relationship to a committed one because for all that time we was not in a committed relationship, I now realize that that was mistake number 1. Anyhow I woke up this morning just feeling extra mad and I don't know why. I have recently started NC and this is day 3 but I have no burning desire to contact him anyways and when I do I just think of some painful situation where in the end I felt like a fool or like I was being used and that takes the urge to call right away. I guess I feel mad because I keep replaying the last 4 years in my mind and all the time, attention, and love I gave to him was a waste I could have been giving these things to a guy that deserved it. I am 28 now and I had a goal of being married by 30 4 years wasted on a guy that told me that if things had ended up differently he was going to marry me. I know I am a good woman I just wish any emotion for him would disappear. One day I hate him and then the next I love him, it makes me sick to not really have control of my emotions. I think I would feel better if I knew that eventually he would come crawling back and I would get the chance to reject him the same way he rejected me. Just wanted to vent. Thanks.

[Lana0120]

I feel for you. You're being strong though and it will keep getting better.

[Never_the_same]

i feel for you thouse. its not easy to let go of a four year relationship and when you started to plan your life with him. i know exactly how you feel and i am still hurting but i am trying to deal with it. this is just a phase and you will get over it. you will have good and bad days but this all shall pass. focus on yourself and do the things that you always wanted to do before but you cant coz you were still with your ex. you're a very strong person and you will get better. hang in there.

[thouse]

Thanksm I know only time will heal this kind of pain, I just wish there was a faster process.

[Clabs]

Hey thouse.

 

I am sorry you are in this sucky position - it just plain - sucks.

 

That is great that there is some anger showing through here - that is a very positive sign. You are right - time - time - time. We all take different amounts of time to heal and move on - but we can speed this process up a bit. Keeping fit, keeping busy, looking after yourself, get on with life, have fun.

 

If you sit about and mope - you will take longer - you will mull it over and obsess about it and if you do this it'll take a hell of a lot longer to crawl your way out of that black hole.

 

You sound like you are very strong and something tells me you are not going to struggle too much with this.

 

Take care of yourself honey.

 

Mark

[thouse]

I think the one thing that saves me from just totally shutting down is that I have be going through this for so long, and I think that I was holding out for him to change when I knew it was not going to work. I think I am just at the point where I am just fed up.

[bubblyblonde11]

Hey hun it gets better. I tried to use my anger as a positive channel to motivate me to get out with friends, make plans, get down the gym, give up smoking, ie. He might have dumped me but I WILL NOT let him ruin the rest of my life, it will be better and happier than before and so will I be.

 

I am still angry with my ex like you are, but its good in a way because like you say you don't want to contact him, I am at 27days of NC what so ever and after that first few days from break up I just got angry and did what I said at the top since then every day has been easier apart from the odd minor blip.

 

Be strong, be well most of all be happy.

 

((((hugs)))))

[thouse]

Bubblyblonde11

 

At any point has your ex tried to call you or reconcile?

[bubblyblonde11]

Bubblyblonde11

 

At any point has your ex tried to call you or reconcile?

 

No not at all, it's been 5weeks on Sat, 4weeks tomorrow of NC (had to sort out getting my stuff back etc). He broke up with me four days before my birthday and then had the cheek to send an email wishing me a happy birthday and sorry things turned out the way they did he sent on my birthday morning, part of the reason I hate him so much.

 

I do not want to hear from him, however like you in the first week or so I wanted same as you, him begging for forgiveness and apologising etc also would have liked to known the exact reasons.

 

I'm moving on now. The anger is going and I am starting to not care at all.