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downward spiral

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downward spiral Apprentice

downward spiral

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This if course was written not long after this attempt. I thank God everday i failed one last time...

 

 

In my room, walls so bare.

thinking of my empty life, for me

who cares?

 

Ive tried so hard to make it through.

I used to dream of finding

someone true.

 

The world would be better off without me.

I lock the door so

no one can see.

 

In my hand, the bitter pill.

Tossing my options but only finding

ill will.

 

In the other hand a glass of water.

I wonder if I would be like this

if I had a father.

 

Tears begin to roll down my face.

I cannot believe im still here, living

is such a waste.

 

I stare at the pills in my palm

yes I am crying but through all of this

I am still calm.

 

I begin to wonder if the pills will take to long,

maybe a blade to my wrist or

is that wrong?

 

I put the pills on the floor,

I grab the blade and check

the door.

 

I sit on my bed and close my eyes.

the pain mounts in my wrist but

I hold back my cries.

 

I open my eyes but still see black.

what did i do? Will i ever

come back?

 

If my life is over, please forgive me.

I want to come back, i want

to see.

 

I pray this is just a dream,

i pray i wake up alive

and screaming.

 

Please Lorde forgive me for what I have done.

Let me come back to life, i realize

life must be won.

 

Thank you Lord, you let me live.

from now on in my life,

I will not take, but i will give.

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