Another story, trigger.

[sarey]

Opinions would be nice.

 

 

 

 

'The plan is almost complete, almost...' she says to herself, anxious and scared, but also excited. She had been saving up tablets. She had been planning this for a while, only now, the plan was in action. She has felt so suicidal for so many years. In and out of hospitals. Attempt after attempt. The blood drips everyday from her delicate skin. Just an addiction now. She doesn't feel relief anymore. It's just an addiction... 'Just a few more, then I can finally rid myself from this world'... she says to herself, with a tear dropping down her cheek, falling down her top. 'Mum, I have a bad stomach ache, have you got any paracetamol?', she asks her mum, clenching to her stomach. 'Of course, they are in my bag, just there', her mum says, pointing to her bag. She leans down, opening her bag, discovering the tablets. 'Thanks...', she says quietly. She opens the packet and takes out two. Running upstairs with some water, she goes into the bathroom, pours the water down the sink, quietly goes into her room and places the tablets in her hiding place. She counts, putting them back. She runs downstairs, placing the cup into the sink and sitting at her computer chair, typing in her password to MSN. 'I guess I should say my goodbyes'... she sighs. Clicking up conversations of well known friends, she tells them goodbye, that her computer is going to be taken away and she won't see them again. They reply with somewhat the same answer. 'Goodbye, bye, see you, hope you will be okay'... she reads them all, tears running down her cheeks as she says to herself 'yes, I will be okay, soon enough'.

 

Knock... the door goes. She opens the door. It's her mum. 'Hey honey, you alright?', her mum says, her smile turning upside down as she sees her daughters makeup running down her eyes. 'What's wrong? You've been crying? Why?', she questions her, holding her close. 'It's nothing mum, I'm fine... I just, thought about something a bit upsetting, I'm okay though, don't worry', she says, smiling, trying her best to convince her so she can go to bed and then she can finally do it. 'Okay honey, well, I'm off to bed, you sure nothings wrong?', with a worrying tone, her mother asks. 'I'm sure, night mum, sleep tight', she says, smiling, hugging her tightly. 'Okay, night sweetie', her mum walks off... 'Mum...', she yells out. Her mum turns around, 'yes sweetie?', she asks. 'I love you...', she says, smiling. 'I love you too', turning back around, her mum climbs the stairs, creaking the wood and click, shutting the door.

 

Sigh... she thinks if that'll be the last words they say to each other. Waiting a while, she creeps upstairs, opens her door quietly and grabs her box with the tablets placed neatly inside. 'It's time...', she says quietly. Holding the box tight, she creeps back downstairs, sitting down onto her chair, she takes them out and lays them in separate piles. Walking back into the kitchen, she turns the tap on, she gets a jug and fills it up, placing it on the desk, she gets a cup and slowly fills it up with water. Her hands shaking rapidly, she picks up the first pile, places them in a neat pile in her hand, she opens her mouth, tears already dropping from her eyes, she puts them in her mouth, grabbing her cup, she swollows them, heart beating fast, pounding head, breathing heavily, she grabs the next pile. And the next. And the next. And the next. Until she is down to her last pile. 'Well, this is it... the last pile', she says quietly, eyes swollen and red from crying so much. The shaking calms down, her heart still racing, but breathing steadily now, she calms herself. Picking the tablets up, she opens her mouth, places them inside and drinks her water, feeling the tablets against her throat, she chokes. Still swollowing the water as fast as possible, they finally go down.

 

Creak... she hears the stairs go. 'Crap...', she says, shakily, she grabs the jug, the box, the cup and hides them. Getting up, she opens the door, her mum standing infont of her. 'Woah, hey honey, what are you still doing up?', her mum asks her. 'Just going off to bed now', she says to her mum with a fake smile. 'Okay, let's go together', her mum says, holding her close, turning the lights off, she walks upstairs with her daughter behind her. 'Night mum', she says, looking back at her mum. 'Night, love you', she says back. 'Love you too', she says, opening her room door, shutting it behind her. She runs onto her bed, crying quietly, tears soaking her pillow, face red, heart beating fast, shaking. 'I'm... so scared', she says to herself. She shuts her eyes, closing them tightly, she stands up, getting a piece of paper, she writes her note. Finally, she's done and she falls onto her bed, closing her eyes tightly, she drifts off...

 

Knock, knock. Her door bangs. 'Time to get up!', her mum yells through the door, knocking again. 'Honey?', she asks, opening the door. She shakes her daughter, cold and still she is. 'Honey?!', she yells. She pulls her over, looking at her face, white as a ghost, cold as a rock and still as ever. 'Honey, wake up...', her voice trails off as she sees vomit beside her pillow, and a note... She opens it. As her eyes go over the words, her mouth gets wider and her eyes water. 'No... dear God no...', she whispers quietly. 'WAKE UP, PLEASE', she screams at her daughter. She shakes her, as the tears drop down onto the bed, she panics, running to the phone, she dials 999. 'Hurry please, my daughter, she has taken an overdose, please hurry, she won't wake up, she's so cold... and still...', her mum screams down the phone, in panic. The operator tells her to check if she's breathing. She runs upstairs, hurries into her daughters room and puts her two fingers on her wrist. 'She's breathing, she's breathing!', she yells down the phone. The operator says back 'Okay, put her on her side and an ambulance is on their way'. She pulls her over to her side and puts a blanket over her. 'Please be okay, please...', she whispers, holding her close.

 

'Neeenorrrneeenoorrr', sirens in the distance screech. She runs downstairs and opens the door, waiting for the arrival of the ambulance. 'Hurry... hurry...', she says to herself, pacing around quickly. The ambulance speeds down the street, stopping outside, the paramedics jump out of the ambulance and rush inside. 'She's upstairs, quick!', she says to them, running upstairs with them following, she leads them into her daughters room. 'When did you find her like this?', one of them asks. 'A while ago, I came in to wake her up, she, just, just help her, please!', she slightly raises her voice, tapping her hands together. The paramedics check her pulse, blood pressure and temperature. 'We need to get her to hospital immediately', the paramedic tells her. 'Okay, I'm coming too', she tells them. They carry her outside, putting her into the ambulance, placing her on the bed and attatching wires to her. 'These are to measure her heart rate and blood pressure', the paramedic reassures her mum. They speed off, arriving at the hospital, the paramedics open the ambulance doors and pull the wheels up from the bed, wheeling her out of the ambulance. They push the bed into the Accident and Emmergency doors and nurses crowd around, the paramedics exchange the information to the nurses. They attatch IV lines into her, checking her temperature again. 'Would you like to come with me ma'am?', one of the nurses say, putting her arms around her mum. 'Where? I want to stay with my daughter', she says, tears still crawling down her cheeks. 'Your daughter will be fine, just come with me please, let them work', the nurse says to her, edging her towards the relatives room. 'I... I just want her to be okay', she says, crying violently, shaking. 'We will try our best', the nurse says, adding to the sentance, 'would you like anything? A drink? Something to eat?'. She shakes her head no, 'I'd just like to be alone please...'. 'Of course. If you need anything, let me know', the nurse says, walking out, shutting the door softly. Bursting into tears, her mum screams at herself, 'you're such a failure, you couldn't even keep your own daughter happy and safe... you're such a bad person, such a damn bad person!'. Hours pass and the door opens. 'Ma'am, your daughter is in a critical condition, but you may see her now', a doctor tells her. She nods her head, following the doctor. She rushes towards her daughter, trying to hug her, though so many wires are attatched to her, she sits down quickly, holding her hand, kissing her forehead. 'You're so cold sweetie, so cold...', she whispers. 'The next twenty four hours are critical. She will be closely watched and tests will be done throughout', the doctor says to her, leaving the both alone. As the hours pass, she sits beside her daughters bed, awaiting her eyes to open, hoping and hoping they will, and that she'll pull through. She closes her eyes, resting her head beside her daughters, drifting off into sleep...

 

Opening her eyes, she feels her daughters hand twitching. 'Honey?', she says quietly in her daughters ear. Her daughters eyes open slowly... 'Oh honey', her mum says to her, holding her close, tightly. 'Mum... where am I?', she says, dazed. 'You're in hospital, honey, don't worry about anything right now, just relax...', she says to her, tears dripping down from her eyes. 'Mum, why are you crying?', she says, her eyes watering too. 'Honey, what did you do to yourself?', she bursts out into tears. 'I...I... don't remember', she closes her eyes, tears drop down from her cheeks and fall onto the pillow. 'What... are all these things on me?', she asks, opening her eyes, looking down at her body. 'They are to help you, honey, tell me, what did you take?', she asks, looking into her eyes, holding her still. 'I... took... paracetamol, alot of it, I don't remember ... much', she says, stuttering, shaking. 'Stay here honey, I need to tell the doctor this', she says, releasing her grip, getting up and walking towards the doctors.

 

'She took paracetamol, alot of it', she says to the doctor. 'That'd explain alot, okay, we need to get her liver tested immediately, but it's too late for anything to be done...', the doctor says with a frown. 'What? But... something must be able to be done, she can't just... you have to help her, she has to be okay, she has to be, she just has to be!', she yells, tears dripping down fast from her eyes. 'I'm sorry ma'am, but let's see what happens with the tests', the doctors tells her calmly. The doctor walks over to her daughter and takes blood. Sending it off to the lab, he returns to his desk. Her mum walks over to her daughter, 'honey, you're going to be okay, you just have to be', she says, holding her close. 'Mum... I'm so sorry... I'm just... sorry', she says to her mum, tears speeding down her face. They hold each other close, drifting off to sleep.

 

'Ma'am, we have the results', the doctor shakes her mum, with a frown. 'Oh, sorry, okay', her mum says, getting up and following the doctor. 'I'm afraid it's bad news...', the doctor tells her. 'Your daughter has severe damage to her liver and it's just getting worse. I'm afraid she only has days, if that, to live, I'm very sorry', he says to her. Tears speed down her face, bursting into tears, she cries in her hands. The doctor puts his arm around her. 'I'm so sorry', he says. A few minutes pass, and she calms down. 'What do we tell my daughter?', she asks the doctor. 'We will have to tell her the truth, we can't hide it from her, she will soon know anyway', the doctor replies. Walking out of the room, her mum runs over to her daughter, cuddling her tightly. 'Oh honey...', she says, crying. 'Mum, what is it? What?', she asks her mum. The doctor walks in and tells her. 'I'm afraid, you've done some serious damage to your liver, damage which will soon, kill you, within days, if that'. They both hold each other, crying. 'Mum, I don't want to die, I don't want to, please, don't let me die, help me...', she whispers to her mum. 'Honey, I can't do anything... I wish I could, oh how I wish I could sweetie', her mum says, floods of tears run down her face.

 

A few days pass of horrid pain and the time soon arrives. 'Mum... I love you... so much...', her daughter looks up at her mum, tears dripping from her eyes. 'I love you too honey, so much, more than anything in this world', she says back, holding her tightly. 'I... I'm sorry...', she says, her eyes closing, pain sharp in her chest, her heartbeat slows down... 'Honey? Honey... oh God...', her mum says. 'I... love... you...', her daughter says, the pain increasing, her heart slowing down... 'I love you so much honey, I love you... I love you...', her mum whispers in her ear, her heart slows down, slower and slower... 'I love you', her mum says, repeating it over and over in her daughters ear, tears dropping from both her and her daughter... and her daughters heartbeat gets slower... and slower... and... stops.

[sarey]

thanks Silent-Eyes.