Anon333 Posted July 16, 2007 Author Share Posted July 16, 2007 yes..But his wife was away for a few weeks....He is moving to a different state with her...and she must have moved down there first to get the place and settle in before he meets up...Not sure of the story..But I guess him contacting me was the gap of time she is away...I think he is frantic missing her, and turned to me (since I am in town), to try and fill that neediness in him....I guess when he moves away with her..I will see if I ever hear from him again..I bet not..Annie..I agree all signs point to run in the opposite direction..I am just being honest on here about the fact I feel horribly sad and regretful and miss him...Despite all rational thoughts...It is just emotional I guess....Thanks Annie... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted July 16, 2007 Author Share Posted July 16, 2007 And I really think he feels blissfully in love..why would someone get married and tell the world (friends, family, me , myspace, facebook) how unbelievably in love they were unless they felt it and felt like shouting it out loud?....even without me in the picture he is telling others how in love he is...but it is so passionate and fast..He will have to deal with the reality of a real relationship eventually...Which perhaps he will... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sallyusa Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 Anon333: i was somewhat in the same situation you were in. i broke up with my boyfriend nearly 4 years after my relationship with my ex ended i jumped into another relationship without even thinking about what i was getting myself into. ( eventually ended up getting married) okay, it goes on for a while. i tried staying friends with my ex but eventually started fading away but picked up right away like a couple of months later. get this, he too tells me he's engaged to be married. he kept telling me oh, how happy he is, how he found his true love, or how he found the love of his life. Sorry to say this but thats just pure BS to me. Its like he's love being married at the same time and having the piece of cake on the side. And after my ex got married this was last year around march he asked me if it would be possible if we could stay friends. i started lashing out on him and told him if he wont stay away then i would have a big talk with his family which i ended up talking to his sister but before i could talk to his dad he rushed upstairs and grabbed the phone and started yelling at me. So if i were you put the friendship aside for now dont get caught up in all his drama for now. believe me do not go through that hassell. i hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sallyusa Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 please dont hesitate to contact me bc i know the type of situation you are in. and i can tell you alot about my experince. if possible i can mail you and we talk about this more if you like. hope to hear from you soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted July 18, 2007 Author Share Posted July 18, 2007 Ugh...I wrote back to him trying to leave things on good terms, and I feel miserable, like I opened up a big wound again....His email back was friendly and normal...And mine was kinda frantic and very long...I feel so stupid..I cant wait for the day I could care less....I thought I could just be friendly and normal too, but I guess Im still wavering back and forth in my head, and that was avery bad idea...Okay.So I guess the healing starts all over again...I hate this!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylifeisasoapoprea Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 Well....It sounds like you need to give yourself some time and space to heal. The one thing i regret with that girl that you read about in my post, was the fact that i didn't give it space. Right away i tried to be friends with her after the break up, it backfired and that is what escalated our hatred toward each other. It took me a couple of years to realize that I was wrong about her, and looking back on it, i wish I would have done things differntly and now it hurts. you don't want to put yourself in a position to be hurt. Its better to let go and forget about it than to get hurt again over and over. Time revels a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted July 19, 2007 Author Share Posted July 19, 2007 I do think you are so right on mylifeisa....How are you so wise beyond your years...I guess seeing things from the outside of ones emotions makes it easier to see what is best....At the moment, I want to force him to realize his feelings for me...But maybe there is nothing to be forced out..Maybe there is nothing for me inside of him anymore....Maybe his new love has concealed any feelings for me he has or had...And they will die out over time without him even realizing them.... None of this can ever be determined or understood or known....I dont know....I need to look out for myself..Stop being so goddog caught up in this cycle of thinking....I think as long as his marriage is good, there will be nothing I will ever hear that I want to hear..And if his marriage is not good....I guess I wouldnt matter anyway....He doesnt love me now, and I cant wait around for the .01% possibility some day he will....Its done, and over....I need to let go, and let the future be what it is, and shape myself positively.....He made it clear he doesnt love me anymore.....So I dont need to hear anything else..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sao2 Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 You don't want to hear from him. Really you don't, if he emails you again saying how happy he is I would suggest saying "I am very happy that you found someone that makes you happy" and leave it at that. I don't care how intense he seemed, if you needed space and his feeling were intense than he would not have moved on so fast. The break(up) between my ex and I is similar, she isn't sure, I am, she needs space. It has been a month later I still haven't even thought about trying to meet someone else, gosh I can't even imagine the psycho's I might attract in my current state of mind. He wanted to get married, it really didn't matter to whom. I am sorry if that makes you feel insignificant, I am sure you are a very special woman, but unfortunately you were not that special to HIM. It is possible that this new love is "the one" and he just lucked upon it, I doubt it because if she was he wouldn't care about making you angry or jealous. As for teaching the ex a lesson, one thing I learned is when it's over, it is over. There is no longer any point in rehashing old arguments. Leave it be and walk away from the situation. Teaching a lesson only leads to anger on both sides. You because he won't understand what you are trying to say, him because he will feel attacked that you are pointing out his flaws even after it is over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted July 19, 2007 Author Share Posted July 19, 2007 Sao, You are right..It is like the nicer I was trying to explain that I still cared for him and how it hurt me he jumped into the marriage..The more he stressed that he did not "jump" into thwe marriage, and that his feelings for me were long gone a long time before we broke up....Pretty much because of me...Our whol relationship was a struggle of him pushing for more from me..and I guess I just couldnt handle the intensity...He made me feel like something was wrong with me...Maybe there is...In the end, be being so protective on myself pushed him away...ANd then I guess he fell in love...He seemed to stress this to me....That he wishes we could be friends, but not if I am going to make him feel guilty over him falling in love with someone else, or moving too fast....He seems to make sure I know that it was me who pushed him away, and I have no right to be upset..That I get what I deserve..It breaks my heart...I know I should not have anything more to do with this man....I did think he loved me...But I guess I made him miserable, and he found someone that makes him feel wonderful... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon333 Posted July 19, 2007 Author Share Posted July 19, 2007 Im pretty sure last night was the last of our emails...I broke down and got upset.ANd he thought I was ridiculous to be so upset, when he is trying to make peace and be friends and I never acted like I liked him to begin with...Its such a sad situation...I have such love/hate feelings..and I dont know if I will ever want to be his friend..ANd I've never felt that way about an ex, even when the relationship ended bad..This one takes the cake.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylifeisasoapoprea Posted July 20, 2007 Share Posted July 20, 2007 Well, yeah if he's married you'd have to leave it at that really. It all sounded like it happened pretty fast too. There is only so much you can do. you really can't force feelings out of a person. They have to realize that on their own. There are lots of girls that I wish the same on but yea it doesn't work. If he really had feelings for you and they were that strong, the will catch him with in time. The more force you do apply the more bricks are added to the wall to block that force. I think that happened with me and the girl I want back right now. and once that wall is built it takes a lot to tear it down. Best bet is not too make the wall thicker. I learned that the hard way. and three years ago with that one girl i didn't care how thick that wall got. now, i want it down. sometimes people need time and space and other experiences to get them to see things clearer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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