Relationships: Do they make you less sociable?

[Double J]

I think mine has made me that way.

 

My g/f and I have been together for a little over 2 years. It's a wonderful relationship and I love her very much. We're very clingy with each other and barely go out anywhere without the other. Although some of you might say this is borderline unhealthy, we are both very much in love with each other and the relationship has flourished this way.

 

Obviously, spending so much time together minimizes the time we are able to meet/socialize with other people. I hang out with my friends on occasion, but she doesn't have too many friends, which makes her even more reliant on me.

 

When I was at a 2-year community college for two years, it was perhaps the most socially active period in my life. I didn't hook up with my g/f until about 3 months prior to graduating from the two year college. I've seen posts from others who have stated that it seems to be easier meeting people at 2 year colleges than at 4-year university campuses and I certainly agree.

 

At my university I haven't really met that many people, and it may have to do with the fact that I almost feel guilty initiating conversations with girls even though I have no interest in them besides having a friendly chat.

 

I don't know why I feel this way, but today something interesting happened. After class ended, I saw my friend talking to a girl in class who typically asks him about exams, study material, etc. They chatted for a bit and then he had to go home, so I was left talking to her. We had a nice friendly 20 minute chat, and honestly, it felt good. No, I'm not interested in her (like i said I happily love my g/f), but I simply enjoyed socializing with someone else (a new person) which seems like something I haven't done in a long time.

 

I don't think it's wrong for a guy to maintain friendships with females as long as it remains strictly a platonic relationship. I don't plan on taking these friendships outside of the school setting (phone calls, movies, etc) but I wish to become more sociable like I once was. This not only refers to school but also the gym, etc.

 

After I had the convo with that girl today, I seemed rejuvenated and gained a lot of confidence. It seems as if I haven't been sociable since the time I was single (prior to the start of my relationship) and I want that to change. My g/f is rather shy herself but it doesn't mean I have to be that way.

 

I guess I really like meeting people and getting the chance to be sociable.

 

Can anyone relate/provide commentary?

 

Thanks in advance!

[PocoDiablo]

I can absolutely relate - and agree. We find that it is very important to go out frequently and talk and flirt with other people, just to stay connected.

[Miss Firecracker]

You should be telling your girl this, really.

 

Hanging around talking to another girl after class is something I'm sure she would want to know about. If you want to continue having a good relationship with this woman, she is who you should discuss this with.

 

There will always be different views about this subject. I have a strong feeling you know your girl would be a little hurt knowing you stayed after class chatting with another woman. It's possible. So tell her what you are telling us, please.

 

If this is something you need in life, you should definitely have it. But you sure need to make sure your girl is in agreement, that she wants that sort of relationship also.

[redrose85]

On some level I can relate, but it is important to keep friendships outside of the relationship too. I don't mind having my friends separate from his friends, and we take a couple of days every week or so to hang out with our buddies. Most of the time otherwise, we like to just chill together.