Hope75 Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 What kind of a doctor is she? I wonder if she has some sort of superiority complex that makes her feel she is above medication to help her. But, I'm curious if and why medication is the only suggestion the counselor had. Nothing else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trooper5 Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 What kind of a doctor is she? I wonder if she has some sort of superiority complex that makes her feel she is above medication to help her. But, I'm curious if and why medication is the only suggestion the counselor had. Nothing else? She is a general practioner at the moment, talking about specializing into something different. Im not sure if she has a superiority complex or not when it comes to the meds. She hasn't talked about it. The counselor didn't really have any other options and Im not sure Im going to go back to counseling. Im about to call it quits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 I realize it must be very frustrating for you as it seems you are carrying most of the burden here and your wife doesn't seem very open to working on the marriage, but I wonder if a different counselor might be an idea before you throw in the towel. Are there things that you still love about your wife? What are they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trooper5 Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 The majority of the things I love/loved about her, she hasn't shown since I have been back. I know Im not the same person I was when I left, neither is she. I really think we both are from different worlds now. At the time I feel that I should be devoting my time to my guys, and their famalies. She is a devoted mother, self sufficient, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous, and used to be alot of fun to be around. She knows I am open to other therapists, I don't believe she is. I really feel like me coming home alive was a bother to her and at times feel she wanted to be the grieving widow. There have just been certain things she has said that makes me feel that way. There are 2 sides to every story of course. And I have tried to put myself in her shoes. When I left I was always the life of the party, fun, completely stable, and non-emotional for the most part. Now I am withdrawn, don't like to be around alot of people, can't sleep, can't eat, and dont even want to do the little things like go to a movie. I take care of my kids, keep the house clean, keep the cars full of gas, cleaned, and ready to roll. Anything I can think of to make it easier on her I do. I have successfully passed the entrance screening into 1st SFOD-D and am considering proceeding that way, making the military a full-time life-long career. I know that she will not have anything to do with me joining this program and would push her over the edge. Part of me wants to proceed this way so the divorce will be her doing. I am really leaning towards the divorce route. Weve been home together all evening and havent said 10 words. I believe its to the point that neither of us care. I really appreciatte your help and insight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 I don't know that I have been much help, I'm afraid. I do wonder if part of the problem might be that you feel more loyalty to your military family than to your domestic family. Do you think your wife feels that she and your children are less important to you now that your brothers in the military? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trooper5 Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 I don't know that I have been much help, I'm afraid. I do wonder if part of the problem might be that you feel more loyalty to your military family than to your domestic family. Do you think your wife feels that she and your children are less important to you now that your brothers in the military? I have thought about this very thing. If this had all started when I shipped home I would agree that this was it. This all started when I was going to ship home and she realized I was actually coming home. At the moment, my kids are everything to me. Also at the moment, my guys do mean far more to me than my wife. They havent let me down and are there for me. I am a realist. I know that when I go back to Iraq, especially if I move into this new branch, I will more than likely die there. I am ok with this. I don't fit into civilian life anymore. The military has been my adult life and I can't change that. I am spending every moment I can with my kids right now. It kills me to think of what the future holds. And for the record, you have been amazingly helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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